Seem to Have Lost the Ability to Mask My Tinnitus

This just makes it so much harder Any noise I play, my T just plays above it, no rest at all! Could this be temporary?! I've noticed it for a good few weeks now but just been hoping it will subside.

 

If you are listening to it of course you will hear it over music...

It has increased in volume or it's just a question of masking?

 

It's definitely increased in volume, but before it was a constant tone which was maskable, not it's various different noises which are impossible to mask, it's not just a case of listening out for it either, it genuinely gets louder, it's weird to explain! Quiet rooms are where the T is at it's quietest.

 

You sound stressed and T will feed of this making it worse. Have you had any help. IE . E N T DOCTOR MEDICATION?

 

I feel you pain. I am in the same cycle. Every med just seems to concentrate my mind more on the issue. THey all seem to list T as side effects or have terrible long term with drawls. Wish i had never started on any and curse myself for using Google. what went from something I could only hear at night is now all consuming. I feel like I am loosing my sanity.

 

I refuse to use any medication unless it gets so serious I think about taking my life. It's not worth the risk imo, time is a better healer than medication which you have to taper off.

 

If your thinking of taking your life. Isn't that serious?

 

That's what I mean; if I got to the state that I wanted to take my life, only then would I take medication.

 

Well i've been the same this last month, it seems like i can hear it over everything, i don't know if it became louder but it's annoying as fck...

 

Yeah being able to mask is being in control, you loose that and you realize that there is no relief to be had. I think this is where the panic may set in for some.

For me, background noise makes my T scream, even a fan or the TV on low. Totally unmaskable unless I go to dangerous levels of sound.

 

Woke up in the middle of the night with it screaming at me can't believe this is happening, I see no reason for it. I was doing so well. Back to square one.

 

It will probably get to where it was before if there's no reason dw it happened to me before

 

Thanks! How long did yours take to do so? It's been about 2 weeks now.

 

It took me 1 week but it only went down when I controlled my anxiety / thinking ( stay away from anti depressants ) don't keep thinking if it got so bad " I might suicide" it will really get bad at that point

 

@geg1992, I think you have a spike or setback which is quite common in T habituation. Even for guy like me with 6 years of T behind me, there are always spikes and setbacks. Dr. Nagler a while ago told us he had a spike. I Who Love Music also reported a spike. These spikes can last for days, weeks, and I have one episode last November spiking for over 2 months due to an unexpected recurrence of my anxiety & panic disorder for things unrelated to T. When the body is stressed or our emotions are unstable, or when we are sleep deprived, T can spike and feed on these conditions. I have learned to just flow with these spikes and continued to live and enjoy my life, staying as calm and as positive as possible, taking meds if needed to maintain emotional stability. Perhaps it is a good idea doing partial masking if needed. When the spikes are above the shower sound, jet noise, river rapids, etc., then not much you can do but just to mask partially to get some soothing. I have tried emotional resistance to these spikes, but each time my anxiety and panic disorder (which I suffered for decades before T & H) just ate me up with more sufferings and T got worse. So I learn from experience to just plough ahead with life, the hell with the T high or low, to practice finding joy amid the pain. It is futile to let Mr. T the bully have more fuel to inflict more sufferings. We have to play a smart game with T to deny the flame and fuel it needs to perpetuate its tyranny on us.

Your description also fits in what people called 'sound reactive T'. Is there such a thing? Debatable. But it seems to me this may have an element of some degree of hyperacusis. This can happen when T spikes for a period of time. Of course true severe hyperacusis is not just feeling louder but piercingly hurtful or painful. Normally, such form of H will slowly fade. Many people have reported that. So hopefully yours will follow the same. Have patience and try to enjoy life regardless. Use earplugs temporarily if you have to. But keep living and don't let this condition deter you from enjoying life. All the best & God bless.

 

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply to me! Your words have helped greatly. I have had spikes just none like this one before which has really unsettled me. I am continuing to live life though, as I know that getting on with life as if T was not there is the best way to get through it. The first time I had a spike, I just sat in my room for days and developed H, I couldn't even turn off/on my light as it was too uncomfortable, even hearing my ex girlfriend talk to me, that was hell. I just really hope this subsides as I was doing so well before and really enjoying life. I'm only young so I don't want to be restricted by this.

How do you find your T has progressed over the 6 years you've had it?

Hope you are doing well and all the best!

 

No my T hasn't progressed. T hasn't changed. I have changed and progressed beyond T, high or low. I can't control T, but I can control myself and my reaction to T(after some passage of time and with the brain more hardened to T). If you focus on the NOW, the very moment in front of you and make it the best positive moment, your quality of life will change. For example, my T has been blasting real loud recently (a mini spike I think), and even with a loud wave/rain masking sound on my work PC, the T is way louder and sharper than the crushing them. But I have not paid much attention to it. Right now at my work PC, honestly I have the nature sounds on not for masking (because T is way louder than them), but just for giving me something else to listen to in my quiet work environment instead of the boring T shrill. I am not afraid or T any more high or low nor upset about it. My way of thinking is T cannot be as loud as a jack hammer or power drill at close range. If people can listen to those noises day in and day out for wages without emotional reaction, I can bear up with my T without emotional reaction too when I can hear it. Most of the time, I am just not aware of it because I am on something else. I have learned to let T be, and let the rest of my life be, much like Zoe Cartwright who thinks her loud unmaskable T is just a slice of her life. This is acceptance, not necessary accepting T but the reality of life with T. It takes time to get there. But it is doable. I never believed this is possible during the toughest time. But now I know it is true.

 

Hey Geg, really sorry to hear you're having a hard time again man, but I'm in the same boat to a large extent. There isn't a lot I can say here as my T does not sound as bad as yours, but I would like to offer support whenever. Just shoot me a message or something anytime you need to vent/talk/whatever. I realize that this condition can be incredibly depressing, debilitating, and stressful, but talking to people who genuinely understand and care can have huge benefit.

As I said before, I'm so sorry to hear your T is being particularly bothersome right now, but if you need someone to vent to, I'm only a message away!

PS - I woke up this morning in a terrible mood with bad T and a new sound that I had really never heard before, but I just got back from a run and feel much better. I don't know if this will help your T, but as I'm sure you know, exercise is excellent for relieving stress.

Take care bud, feel free to message whenever.

- Steve

 

It's interesting how your T hasn't progressed at all, but I'm glad to hear it. I'm really struggling again tonight. It was so much easier when I had somebody to reassure me but I have nobody these days. The T is so loud it almost hurts, it feels like my whole ear is vibrating, this is horrible. I'm so glad you are able to control your mind like that even with T loud, I don't feel I'll ever get to that stage. I'm tempted to take prednisolone again, it seemed to help last time.

I'm looking at getting a loan so I can get my dream car, I've put the deposit down and everything, but my T is making me think I shouldn't bother as it will get worse so I Can't work and then I'll be stuck in debt.

 

Thanks Steve, much appreciated! Same with you! Thank you for taking your time to respond to me, I'm just struggling more and more every day.

 

Hey buddy, I know it can be tough, I really REALLY do. Trust me, I woke up this morning hating life with my right ear making cricket noises for the first time. Like an idiot, I recently started smoking cigarettes again on vacation, and I've been chewing through a pack a day almost the last week or so. Stress is a very VERY real thing, and in my opinion, or at least my personal experience, one of the worst instigators of a rise in T.

All that being said man, don't lose faith. Like I said, I don't want to rub it in AT ALL, not at all my intention, but from the sound of if your T is more reactive, problematic, and loud than my own. That being said, it's all a matter of mind over matter. I know it sucks. I really really do. This is a difficult thing we are both dealing with at a very young age in comparison to most on this forum, but life is still good. This morning, I caught myself about to cry and whine about not being able to go to shows or listen to loud music anymore. I get upset that I can't roll down my car windows and let the air in. But the fact of the matter is, #1) Loud/Live music is only ONE aspect of life. I'm realizing that I really don't have much of a desire to rage shows anymore, it's just the fact that my brain is fixated on what "could've been." That being said, even last year when I didn't have T, I pretty much NEVER rolled my car windows down. It was too loud and windy then, but now that I truly shouldn't do it, my mind is fixated on the "could've beens."

I don't know what the bar scene is like on your side of the pond, but I know that here in the US, while they may seem alluring, especially since it's been less than a year since I became of age to visit them, ultimately, it's a loud room with TV's and people I don't know and probably don't want to paying WAY too much for alcohol. That's it. That being said, do I still get upset that I can't go to a bar with a couple of friends and grab a drink? Sometimes. But ultimately, I think I'd have a more enjoyable time at this point in my life just hanging out, watching Netflix, and having a NORMALLY priced beer in my own home.

Gegg, I understand that these are absolutely not the only way that T is affecting your life, I totally understand that. But there are lots of things in life that AREN'T absurdly loud that are probably much better for you and more enjoyable in the long run. Exercise, being outside, being with family, DOGS (Not sure if you're a dog/animal person, but they're basically the highlight of my life.) As difficult as it is to believe sometimes, I frequently remind myself that while I made a stupid mistake, I know people whose mistakes landed them in prison. Hell, a guy I used to know in high school is in prison FOR LIFE because of a mistake he made when he was 21. Would I want to trade places with him just so I don't have ringing ears? No. Would he trade places with me? I have to believe that yes, he would, in a heart-beat.

My cousins boyfriend is someone else I keep in mind frequently. He lived a completely normal life until he was 34. He was a very talented musician, an athlete, and he still is literally a GENIUS. Not just smart, but literally well into the genius level IQ range. Then one day, he woke up with numb legs. A tumor developed on his spine. He lost the use of his legs, lost all but 15% of his hand-eye coordination and dexterity, and then on top of it all suffered from 98% Sensorineural hearing loss, which of course gave him T, I'm sure far worse than you or I. He didn't even make a mistake! It just happened.....it may be difficult at times, but try to remain grateful.

These are very difficult days for you my friend, I understand where you're at to some extent, but at the end of the day I can never totally and completely understand your struggle, just as you could never fully understand mine. Regardless, I am here to support you and help you anyway I can over the computer. Hell, maybe one day I'll take a trip over there and we can grab a six pack and watch some Netflix

Just please, always remember, regardless of what qualities of life you may lose, be it money, a car, a girl, or even your hearing, there are always things to appreciate and be happy with in life.

Feel free to message me anytime bud, and I 100% mean that, ANYtime. We'll both get through this, one way or another.

Sending positivity and love your way brother. Stay strong.

- Steve

 

PS - I really don't want to seem like a know it all, or like I have my T totally under control. I definitely don't, and I'm still constantly searching for places to listen to it to see if it's gotten better/still there. These are just a few thoughts I've had that have really helped me put things in perspective.

Please don't think or feel that I'm belittling your problems, this is not AT ALL my intent.

Stay strong bud

- Steve

 

How am I supposed to live when any noise sends my T through the roof? It's so bizzare, as soon as I go to quiet my T calms down, I don't understand.

 

Do u have hyperacusis ? If yes I think that's why, my t use to get louder with other sounds around , it just use to float over any sound

 

But my hyperacusis has gotten much better thank god

 

Wow, this post has made me feel so much better, thank you!

Don't feel like you can't got to a bar and grab a drink though - ear plugs are our best friends now. Before this random spike, I still went to pubs and got drunk in town etc, just avoided clubs as the music is ridiculously loud!

 

I used to have it but it never affected my T much, it was just a case of that sounds would be very uncomfortable to me, but this faded. Glad to hear your H has gone!

 

Yeah thank god man , I was really in a mess first 2 weeks but I realized it's more to do with me being more scared that the sound might make my t worse rather then the actually hyperacusis , but with some vitamins and b12 supplements It got much better . Just give it time man don't give up and try not to over protect you're ears good luck and keep us updated everyone here is for help going through the same thing

 

Thanks mate, much appreciated.

Just frustrating as it was so maskable before and didn't react to sounds so was easy to manage. Like I'd still hear it over the TV and everything but it would be consistent so easily dealt with.

I've just bought a Nissan 350z so I hope that will bring a bit more positivity into my life as I love those cars.

 

That's an amazing car man , tried it once in a drifting competition it was just sick ! I love cars to