Sitting in Silence as a Method to Cope

Does anybody else do this?

So, I'm 6 days into my recent increase with tinnitus. Will it go back down? Will it not? What caused this? Why did this have to happen to me? It's too early to know and I don't know, but all I know is that it's louder right now and I have to accept that. The last few days now my mind is pushing me more and more with "get over it!" it's like everytime I start to obsesses on tinnitus (a lot), the thought "DEAL WITH IT" pushes as hard.

When I wake up in the morning and after work, I refuse to turn on anything now. No music, no TV, no fans, just silence. I'll only read, and when I start to feel like I can't accept this, I lay down and just listen to the ringing in my head, relax myself as much as possible, and think "I can do this. I can deal with this" and then get up and text a family member or friend about something non T related and distract myself.

I think this is working for me

 

@Jacob83

Well my friend, we all find our own ways to deal with and cope with Tinnitus. If what you are doing feels like it's helping, and it sounds like it is, then continue with it. As always, I tell everyone to openly discuss Tinnitus with your GP. The doctor may be able to offer other forms of treatment and possibly suggest various other specialists to help you work thru this dreaded ringing. I find my own family doctor has but a very little clue on Tinnitus and the negative impact it has on people. So I have educated myself as much as possible to help direct my doctor to be more supportive.

A little about me. I had Tinnitus mildly since 2005. It did get a tad louder over the next 6 years but not bad. In 2011 I had to go in for emergency surgery on my left kidney (the only one I have). During recovery, the second day home, I woke up almost completely deaf and my ears were ringing like wildfire. Naturally I panicked and ran to doctor after doctor, test after test etc etc. At the time I could still hear speech in my left ear. In August 2015, I finally lost all hearing. Yep, just woke up and gone!! So imagine having to listen to my loud steam whistles 24/7/365 with no other noise to help distract me. Today, a year later, I am coping well with everything but my quality of life has greatly decreased and I am totally the opposite of who I used to be. Once was very much a people person. Now I avoid as many people as possible as to not bother them with my deafness. Anyone with anything to say must write it down. Seems like such a burden to place on others.

Keep finding ways to distract yourself from the ringing and hang in there. See your doctor. Research any medication he/she may prescribe before staying on it. Most can be habit forming and then you have added another issue. Protect your hearing as well as you can. Trust me, you don't want to be deaf and suffer Tinnitus!!

Best wishes and keep well!!

Mike

 

Love this idea. I am doing the same. Masking totally not the road to habituation or acceptance.

 

Mike, don't ever consider asking others to write down a burden. Anyone with even the slightest of heart would understand. That is one hell of a rough story, and I have the utmost respect for you! Stories like yours are not lost on me.

So, what caused the deafness? Is your kidney ok now at least?

 

Yeah I like silence the best, trying to listen/concentrate throuh blasting head noise on exterior sound is exhausting.

 

Mike, did you ever look into what drugs you were given in surgery? Seems awfully cause-and-effect what you're talking about. Operating room and critical-care area people can be pretty aaahhh whatever about the drugs they give sometimes.

 

I do quite the same at least twice a day. When I arrive at work in the morning I would sit in silence for a minute in my car on a parking lot saying to myself "I can do it today, it's not a big deal". In the evenings I would give a try to reading in silence 1 chapter of my book, relaxing as much as possible. But other than that I mask a lot with nature sounds, it's still easier for me to concentrate and feel relaxed rather than listening to T sound

 

@Jacob83 @PaulBe

Of course I have some of the greatest friends a man could wish for. Extremely understanding and caring people. When I visit with them however, I do try to keep the visits short and sweet. I bring a large notebook with me that anyone can write in. On some visits I have had over 30 pages of conversation per visit. This is almost impossible to do at large functions as you can imagine. Attending weddings, celebrations of any sort with large groups of people is extremely hard. Hard to keep in the conversations etc. So again, I attend but do make an early exit when the time is right. Before hearing loss, I always closed down the parties and functions. There til the end to help clean up etc.
I am now in the process of trying to qualify for a Cochlear Implant. Basically a bionic ear that should allow me to hear speech again. Bit of a risky surgery on the brain but well worth it if I can hear something once again. I meet the surgeon on the 14th of this month for his final evaluation and consent for the surgery and am pretty positive after my initial visit with the program director that I will qualify easily and be placed on the list for the implant. A few main risks of this surgery are the loss of taste in the tongue, possible numbness of half your face, and the big one.... an increase in Tinnitus!! My tinnitus is already at a 10! Hard to think it might get louder in order for me to hear again?? Gotta risk it. Could be as long as 2 years before I have the surgery as they get funding for 120 per year and the waiting list is currently over 200. What may work in my favor is they totally understand the dreaded impact sudden hearing loss has on people and I may be able to bet bumped up on the list. I will be begging and pleading with the surgeon when I see him for just that. Will keep you posted on the news after I meet him.

Your question about the kidney surgery and the drugs used are valid and most likely the sole cause of my sudden hearing loss, but try to get the medical community to admit it is impossible. I got a full report on the drugs they used to knock me out and the only anomaly I can find is the amount given. They had me down as 40 pounds heavier that I was at the date of surgery. Possibly increasing the amount of the cocktail just that much more. There was no report of any issues during surgery. I was out cold and stable readings all along. They sent me home with 2 antibiotics and a painkiller that was not needed. I took the antibiotics and even finished them even tho I was almost deaf 2 days after surgery. I spoke to so many specialists and only a well respected ENT made it clear he felt my hearing loss was directly attributed to the kidney failure and/or the surgery, but could not possibly find the exact reason. The drugs that were given me had not caused deafness in others, therefore dismissed as the reason. Believe me, I looked into everything piece by piece. Finding the exact cause is like finding Waldo. I am still researching this to this day looking for all reported drug interactions etc. My kidney is fine and works perfectly. Since I only have one kidney, I have always been kind to it. Never drank a lot of alcohol and refrained from drugs. Always tried to eat decent. The reason for the emergency surgery was it was totally blocked with stones (boulders in my case). I was feeling weaker in the 2 months leading up to the surgery and doctor and hospital visits failed to pinpoint the kidney as the issue. I pretty much had to allow my body to poison itself greatly before all the right markers in my blood work would lead anyone to look there for a cause. I barely had the strength the day I was admitted to the hospital to even walk in. So letting it progress to such a state could also be the reason for the hearing loss. Simply put, it could be the toxins my body failed to process in the last 2 weeks before surgery may have damaged those fine hairs in the cochlea (inner ear). Also could very well have lowered my tolerance to the drugs to put me to sleep at the time and the antibiotics afterwards?? Finding that answer may take forever really.

Just the same everyone, I cope well now and do the things I feel are the best in my situation. I am pretty healthy today and always was before getting sick with the kidney. Always worked out, was big into swimming, traveled the world, ate well and still do when the stress from Tinnitus is low, and remain positive in life. Many say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I sort of disagree as this all is very exhausting and overwhelming most days. I feel it slowly makes you weaker but I must plug away every day or it will get the better of me.

More news to come after my visit with the surgeon on the 14th. Fingers crossed!!

Mike

 

Oh wow, less than one week away! Best of luck to you, Mike! That would be wonderful if you could hear again. Definitely worth the risk.

 

@Jacob83

Totally agree!!!

 

One point about the drugs though, you will never find a document on your record that tells you just how those drugs were administered, by which I mean things like the combination, the speed of injection...that kind of thing. Some drugs are known to be concentration-dependent ototoxic that is, if administered too fast brings the level up too high too fast, and that's where the issue lies. Frusemide (Furosemide for Americans) is a good example, and its a commonly administered diuretic. Millions are on it as a pill, but it's also used IV to treat kidney or heart failure by spurring urine output. If you were treated for renal failure there's a good chance this drug crossed your path. Its supposed to be given as a "slow push" or in a saline dilution for the bigger doses, but I've seen many Doctors just whack it in.

 

@PaulBe

I appreciate the information on the Frusemide. I will investigate this medication further but as you say, may never know how much was administered and how quickly, IF I did have any. We always like to believe when we go for surgeries that we are in capable hands. However we are human and to be human is never to be perfect at all times. In many cases here, most times a nurse administers medications unless they are very risky and that could also have happened. The cocktail of drugs used for anesthesia to put me to sleep for surgery are on my report. In saying this, the exact level of the 3 drugs used were not differentiated, only that a total amount of the cocktail is noted. This cocktail can only be administered by a board certified Anesthesiologist. I am sure they have a specific guideline for each drug, depending on weight and tolerance and should be easy enough to find out each dose. However noted, I really was only given a fraction more due to the wrong weight the day of surgery. I have never heard of any case where this cocktail caused hearing loss therefore pretty much have ruled this particular scenario.

Could have been a drug such as Frusemide. Could have been that my body was just so toxic from poor kidney function for too long. Could be......... well you know what I'm getting too.

Appreciate your information and keep it coming if anything else comes to mind. Helps in my research and with collecting data to bring more awareness to both Tinnitus and Sudden Hearing Loss.

Stay well and best wishes with your T!!

Mike

 

I work in the field of dialysis Mike, and a number of our patients have tinnitus, though its hard to say if its their renal failure, the various drug and device exposures they've had through constant contact with healthcare, or a mix of both.

 

@PaulBe

That is very interesting information about the amount of patience suffering from Tinnitus. Will definitely be digging deeper into this for my data. I have to say one thing, I suffered mild Tinnitus for 6 years before any renal failure. Interesting however that it got so much louder post surgery. Makes your point that much more valid. Appreciate all this information Paul.

I am aiming to have hearing health information taught in schools. I believe this information should be taught at the youngest grade possible along with the Physical Education Programs. My ultimate goal is to have it continue for the entire schooling life of each student. Begin teaching our children young and continue to reinforce it for years afterwards. Coming up with the right guidelines is the real issue. We can teach about noise awareness however trying to add on drug awareness and other body failure awareness to hearing health teaching is going to be hard to implement without good data and proof, if any can be found. This may possibly be the only way to ever decrease the amount of people who suffer from Tinnitus in the years to come.

Regards.

 

Interesting that Chinese Traditional Medicine treats kidney problems as the root cause of some tinnitus

 

Interesting that it's only some!