Hi T Talkers. I've been lurking around this site for about a year but have never posted. I wish I was adding to the positivity thread but unfortunately this is not the case. :/ I am really trying to reach out because I feel awful. I been hanging with Mr. T for over three years. I have a musical background but always wore ear protection. I moved to Florida with my family about 8 years ago. Bad move. Now Im at the tail end of divorce which has been about as devastating as the T. I had an ear infection and was depressed so I got a prescription for an antibiotic (ciprofloxacin) and an antidepressant (Citolopram). I took them and within 3 days and off he goes. Could have been the infection or either one of the meds or something in the water or looking at a tree the wrong way for all I know. At the end of the day it really doesn't matter. It's here. I'm sorry for the gloom and doom, I promise to try to be upbeat but I just have to open up. There are some really good people on here and I just really need a boost. My life has been turned upside down by this and I know Im not alone. Im just gonna spit it out and be done with it. I have tried many of the suggested remedies starting with the good old fashioned snake oils...you know the usual suspects Super B, Ginko Biloba, NAC, Zinc, Magnesium, L-Tyrosine, Lipoflavoniod...then graduated to accupuncture, meditation, Widex Zen ear buds, and so on. Obviously none of these things have helped over the course of the last 3 years. I dont like who I am now. I barely have energy to play with my awesome kids when I see them and I get angry at the littlest things. I'm just not me anymore and it is awful. I got a script for Xanax and that worked for a while but then I developed a toloerance to it and now I need to taper off of that. I also read that Xanax can excaserbate the thing as well. Now I can't sleep, I can't eat, I dont want to be around anyone because the noise hurts. I have been reduced to a mere shell of what I once was. I live alone now and it's a living hell. Im sorry this is not a very upbeat post but I dont know what else to do. I'm even hesitant to reach out to my family because they dont understand. I dont want to just flood my head with alcohol. I know that can make it worse too. I tried the noratrypyiline last week and could not stand the way it made me feel. Before that I tried Zoloft and that made things way worse. I was just hoping to treat the anxiety that goes with the T but I could not make it for even two days. I began having VERY negative thoughts and that was that. So I have been holed up in my house just wishing things were different on so many levels. I feel like a total outcast, Im without a job right now. Im trying but concentrating is so hard. Once again, I'm sorry to unload like this but I'm at the end of my rope. Im in tears now. Nobody else can possibly understand how I feel except for the people on this site.