Super Loud Tinnitus

But I still love my life and live it. I gotta be very honest here and I am always honest and tell it like it is. I am a male that lost his folks over 4 years ago. I was their main caregiver and protector for almost 15 years. My tinnitus has been brutal for almost 2 decades and I have had it for almost 3 decades. By the grace of God, I was able to give and care for my folks, even though my ears and ringing were and still are stuck in utter hell.

My folks died and I experienced and still do, the most horribly lonely feeling, somewhat empty feeling. It is brutal and my tinnitus only gets even louder and more insane. I don't have family left and the only thing that keeps me going on this earth is: 1. God 2. My full contact self defense martial art.

The martial arts is very loud and hitting the bags and being punched while holding bags is VERY loud.

The martial arts keeps me alive and I LOVE doing it. My tinnitus is 10 times louder after our grueling workouts. I went tonight with level 10-11 tinnitus, throat infection, on antibiotics and feeling sick. I was so winded, that I felt like throwing up after class tonight...

I will never let tinnitus keep me from doing what I love.

My hearing is shit and messed up, my tinnitus is covering my hearing, but do I care? No

Will this stop me from doing what I love? NO Will this stop me from living life? NO

I care for this board and I come to inspire those that recently got tinnitus or those that have had it for a while.

Life does not end because of tinnitus

 

Got bless you fishbone. I am struggling real bad right now. So loud it is insane. Good to come here with people that understand. Stay strong

 

Indeed, you stay strong as well buddy. Tinnitus is a horrible thing and i am still amazed that such a shitty thing exists. It can mentally be exhausting and draining, just have to try to dis tract yourself from it and try to live life like this thing is not there.

it takes A LOT of discipline, to ignore this issue...lots

Mask your tinnitus and get some relief, exercise as well.....

 

All power to you fishbone and well done. I also looked after my parents right up until the end, and it wasn't easy. I have an idea of what you've been through and are going through at present regarding the void left in your life without them being here and are left with the memories. The only piece of advice that I can give which might be of some help. If you are living in the house they also once lived in. If it's possible move away to another location and make a fresh start. It was the best thing I did as the memories would really get to me at times, especially when my tinnitus was loud and intrusive.
All the best
Michael

 

Hey @fishbone,
I'm really sorry about your loss. As for the tinnitus. I really don't know how are you doing it dude. I mean mine in this current state is nothing compared to your description and i'm thinking of suicide every day. You say your tinnitus covers your hearing... man i don't know what to say. Just that i respect you.

 

I'll be quite honest with you. I came into this world a soft spoken, loving, caring person. The world robbed me of many things but it made me 10 times stronger both mentally and physically. I still have that caring and loving side too, but only to those that care back and deserve it. Life teaches us many lessons, it is up to us to take what we learn and use it in the future. Being mentally strong is the most important factor in life and with tinnitus. conditioning yourself to handle all obstacles is the key. Face it, live it and do something about it. Yes, my tinnitus covers my hearing in both ears and it is super and crazy loud. Beyond maskable and repairable. Yesterday we did some pretty hardcore drills in my self defense class and I was so winded and out of breathe and my tinnitus was MUCH louder and i could barely hear the instructor or my classmates. I don't have an easy time holding conversations. It's life man, it is what it is. I cannot deny my weakness, but i don't dwell on it and let it ruin me either.

You accept what you have and make the best of it, you move forward and do something in life that means a lot to you. I do this by first, coming here and helping people. You can read my 200+ posts here, i doubt you will find me asking for help in 99% of my posts. I just come here to help those that need it and want it and will use it and not let tinnitus take their smile from them.

It is tough, but we have to be tougher and just punch tinnitus in the face and knock that bastard out

 

Thumbs up for the above. Eventually i will have to reach your state of mind. I believe my tinnitus will get worse and worse over time to the same point. That is what it has shown me till now. No improvement. Just slowly worsening. Things i used to love had to do with art. Dance and music. I still love them, but tinnitus is stealing those away. Day by day. I'm truly sad cause i feel like everything i love to do, i won't be able to do it tomorrow. I am terrified for the future. How i will be able to listen, sleep, enjoy things etc. If i don't reach your state of mind i will not survive. I wish i knew my cause and could do something to fix this. I am not the same person anymore.

 

I reached my state of mind by having life run its obstacles on me and not giving up. Never giving up on life and what you believe. I have had a very rough life from the very beginning, God has kept me around and still keeps me around. I have donated and gave TONS of money and donations to homeless people and the needy and helped tons of people and still keep doing it and will always do it. You don't want to go through my sorrows, they are very ugly and very disturbing. BUT, I managed to be patient with life and overcome all the horrors that I have faced. I have seen it all buddy.

Life is like a complex puzzle, all of us want to solve it and we can to some degree, but it will be complex and we have to come up with new ideas and strategies. YOU can do this, it is up to YOU, if you want to do this. We are all alone in our true struggles, only WE can make that change and take that step that can possibly help us. It take a MENTALLY tough person to do this and we have no choice, but to do this or we will just drift into more negativity.

Your tinnitus is relatively new, take it easy and just take it day by day. Don't fear tomorrow and how it can get worst. It could get worst, but that's ok. That's tommrow and not right now.

YOU can do your best, to protect you ears and reduce the risk of causing worst tinnitus. I didn't have this site or a mentor who told me how it is, be thankful and be positive

Life will be fine, God is good to those that are good to people and themselves

 

I know it isn't easy @vermillion but try and get out of the mindset of thinking your tinnitus will get worse over time, as this doesn't have to be the case. However, if you believe that then it will become a reality. Please read my "positivity" articles and read the positivity posts from forum members regularly. If you are not using a sound machine at night, I advise to start using one and not sleep in a quiet room. Try not to wear your earplugs/ear defenders too often as there is a risk of making your condition worse.
Michael

 

@fishbone thank you so much. I hope both of your parents to be in a better place. Keeping an eye on you from above. Being your guardian angels. When you feel lonely feel free to talk. I hope you have good friends there to support you.

I truly wish all the best and no more sorrows.

Trying hard. I still haven't found something that works for me. I'll keep trying.

I'll do that Michael. Thanks for the advice. Sleeping in a quiet room is dangerous?

 

Sleeping in a quiet room is one of the worst things a person can do that has intrusive tinnitus or tinnitus with hyperacusis. The brain and auditory system never switch off. If the brain hears silence when we are asleep, it will search for sound by increasing it's internal volume control. While doing this it will also increase the tinnitus which will make it louder and more intrusive during the daytime.

I have mentioned the above and the benefits of using a sound machine at night in my article: Tinnitus, A Personal View. If you click on my "started threads" there are plenty of posts about the benefits of using sound enrichment and posts on how to "adopt a positive" attitude to life and tinnitus. There is nothing wrong in being occasionally negative about tinnitus. The thing to try and learn (which takes time) is not to let negativity overwhelm you and become all consuming. My post: "Positivity and Tinnitus" will help start you on this path.

Michael

 

@Michael Leigh
OK Michael. I'll check on that posts of yours.
I thought sleeping in silence was a good rest for the ears. To tell you the truth, i think that the times i used white noise/pink noise for sound enrichment, the next day i felt worse. Sometimes i just leave the fan on. I'll check on your info you provide. Thank you.

 

When sound enrichment is used correctly it will not make you feel worse. The volume of the sound enrichment must be kept slightly lower than the tinnitus, it must not MASK the tinnitus so it can't be heard. Try and use a dedicated sound machine and not use music. Music draws attention to itself which is something that you do not want. More is explained in my article. Take your time and read it and try not skim through it. If you follow my suggestions I believe you will start to make improvement. If you have a printer then print the whole document, as you will absorb the information better than reading off a computer screen.
Michael
PS: sleeping in a quiet room is one of the worst things for someone that has intrusive tinnitus.

 

I sleep with no noise in the background. It all depends on you and how you feel. If you need a sound therapy machine use it, if not don't. The reason why I don't use it is because i don't obsess over my tinnitus and the loud/junky noise and my mind is at ease. It's not easy but it can be done

 

I agree each to their own. However, sound enrichment works on the brain while we sleep and therefore has little to with what we might like. This is the advice of Professor Pawel Jasterboff and I agree with him. I respect your decision Fishbone as you are a veteran to tinnitus the same as me. @vermillion is a beginner to tinnitus and is having a difficult time dealing with it and needs time to learn. The best thing for him, in my opinion is to use sound enrichment at night although it is his choice if he wishes to or not.
Michael

 

I sleep in silence. Of course the T in my R ear wakes.me up sometimes repeatedly. I can not tolerate sound machines or a fan. I tried when a neighbor had a clock that was driving me nuts. I could not sleep and could not drown out that sound. It became like an icepick so I tried every option on the sound machine to no avail. Even a fan was grating. That's when the T became dramatically louder in my R ear and started getting dizziness and feeling sick.

Neighbors moved a few weeks ago so I have been reveling in the silence. The place has already rented though so am starting to feel panicky about new neighbors moving in. Noise that does not remotely bother others makes me more than cranky. I really think trying to mask the noise increased the T though.

Of course balance therapist presented a similar principle about not becoming avoidant of the dizziness because that is how the brain adapts. But maybe some just can't make it work.

Lynn

 

When i didn't have tinnitus (nice times) I liked to sleep with soft music or with the iPad playing tv series on YouTube. Now with the tinnitus I am confused. As I told @Michael Leigh I used white noise but I felt worse in the morning. Pink noise was a bit better. However Micheal suggests sound enrichment below the level of tinnitus. I liked the fan turned on but the fan is a bit loud and masks almost all of my tones. Total silence is a bit uncomfortable cause I listen only my tinnitus but there are times that I prefer it because other sounds playing can sometimes wake me up.

@light rain
Btw Lynn have you checked for Meniere's?

 

It is your choice @vermillion on whether you want your tinnitus to improve or not. If you feel confused and not knowing what to do. I suggest you buy the Tinnitus Retraining Therapy, book that all Hearing Therapists and Audiologists follow that want to treat tinnitus management to tinnitus patients. It was written by Professor Pawel Jasterboff and Jonathon Hazell. You can buy it from Amazon. It will tell you everything about the brain, tinnitus, hyperacusis - And how important it is to use sound enrichment at night.
Michael

 

I'm still waiting to get an MRI done. I thought Menieres because my Dad has it. The ENT does not think it is based o the tests I've already had. One showed one sided nerve damage. But I'm not so sure because I m having episodes even after balance therapy. I called the drs office because I want something done. I was dizzy three days in a row last week and I always feel like I'm tilting to one side. I'm not board certified however just experiencing it (lol).

Lynn

 

@Michael Leigh
I will begin first with your posts you suggested. It's really nice to get all these advice by experienced members like you and @fishbone. I really appreciate this. However because this was fishbone's thread and we ended up discussing my own struggles I feel a bit uncomfortable. @Michael Leigh i will pm you for further questions after I read your posts. Thanks in advance.

 

Please accept my apologies @fishbone I didn't mean to highjack your thread.

 

No @Michael Leigh, I am the one who should apologize!

 

it's ok friends

help each other and be well. I took a nice shower and was just doing some boxing drills with my life size dummy in my yard

Class starts in a few hours

 

I'm mostly using my phone so I haven't gone through all the threads sometimes. Sorry I missed your initial post. I put in.my intro that my T started around the holidays after my husband died suddenly of a heart attack in 2010. It was our first Christmas without him and I was trying to pull everything together. I was also my moms caregiver and she died in 2013. In 2015 I left pretty much all our stuff behind and moved to a new state I had never even been to before.

And I give all the credit to Jesus for getting me through. I'm glad you posted because I know I need to be reminded to keep focus sometimes.

God Bless!

Lynn

 

member: 3134"]Sleeping in a quiet room is one of the worst things a person can do that has intrusive tinnitus or tinnitus with hyperacusis.

Absolutely 100% agree with that

 

I had another hard class lastnight Tons of cardio, tons of LOUD punching of bags and being punched while holding bags. My hearing is not getting better with this class and my tinnitus is already insanely loud at a level 10-11 in my ears. I have come to accept that I have poor hearing and horrible tinnitus. I'm training about 4-6 times a week, if i had no tinnitus i'd train 6-10 times a week. As much as i hate my tinnitus and my poor hearing, i will keep going to my class. This class and the interaction truly keeps me alive and out of depression, so it is a must for me.

I do hope one day, that tinnitus does get massive attention and someone puts an end to these horrible noises.... We need to make tinnitus mainstream and hopefully find a cure for this garbage....

 

I admire your tenacity, positivity and strong will Fishbone to carry on come what may. However, I have a feeling the exertion and stress that you are putting upon your body is exacerbating your tinnitus, and hope that I'm wrong. Whenever you have the time please take a look at the following website by clicking on the link below, where tests have been carried out to show vigorous exercise, aerobics and running can make tinnitus worse or cause the condition in those that didn't previously have it.

All the best
Michael
http://www.nytimes.com/1994/04/06/us/inner-ear-may-take-beating-from-high-impact-aerobics.html

 

Thanks for the post

I have fibromyalgia + arthritis = I already have stress on my body 24 7, even if i don't do anything. I juggle a lot on my plate and tinnitus alone or fibro or arthritis will ruin someone's life. I use to be a powerlifter/bodybuilder till a nasty antibiotic ruined my muscles. I have had tinnitus for almost 3 decades now, the lifting, exercise and the grind is the way of life for me. Pain or no pain, tinnitus or no tinnitus.

I continue my life till god says that it's time to hang it up

 

You are an inspiration to many Fishbone and long may you carry on doing so.
Take care
Michael

 

Yeah I'm sure that you are a hero and all that jazz, but you can't say that you have " super loud tinnitus". How could you possibly know this? And you have a level 10-11 level compared to what? Where do you get these numbers? They are obviously made up in your own mind. These are your own figures based on what your own tinnitus does, nothing more.

Maybe you have figured out a objective way to listen to, experience, measure and compare others tinnitus to your own? I would highly doubt it, and if not, your statement about "super loud tinnitus" or scale 10-11 means absolutely nothing to anyone in the real world, it only means something to you.

Not sure if it's possible for you, but try and cut the BS man, in the end people will respect you more for that. Take care