The Negativity Thread

Discussion in 'Support' started by Hux, Aug 17, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Someone had to put a The Negativity Thread, because I do not understand how one can be positive with this torture of tinnitus.
       
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    2. Kane Moffat
      Badass

      Kane Moffat Member

      Location:
      Glasgow, Scotland
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2015
      Perhaps you should name this the 'Venting Thread', because it sounds like you need to vent. But negativity is not good for you or anyone else.
       
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    3. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      Be prepared to receive a bunch of invalidating "hugs" from people who are attempting in vain to brainwash themselves into thinking that tinnitus isn't so bad. They do this so that they can survive (I say survive, not live), even though they, deep down, know they will never know peace again. This feeling is why some people gravitate to sites like this. We want hope. Well, here's your hope:

      T sufferers will never experience a silent rest in an isolated, beautiful Maine cabin with no fans to mask. You'll be so distracted by the screech in your brain that you won't hear the loons. They will be there with their friends - who enjoy the silence, the escape from civilization - but the T sufferer carries a curse that follows them to the ends of the earth.

      T sufferers have to live with the knowledge that, despite having perfect hearing or having their hearing loss being negligible, something like 50% of people who have serious hearing loss experience no ear pain or tinnitus.

      T sufferers are forced to live with the knowledge that they will probably never be able to function as well cognitively as their peers - distracted by a cacophany of noise only they can hear. I'm willing to bet you can't even imagine a reality in which you're a pure mathematician. Abstract thought REQUIRES silence and an empty, zen headspace.

      T sufferers are forced to accept that the world is completely unfair, and that they are the victims of fate. Tinnitus is often spontaneous, I know of dozens of people on this forum who lived healthy, non-ototoxic, quiet lifestyles and just woke up with a screaming noise in their head one day.

      Everything about T is OBJECTIVELY negative. This site panders to those who think that, somehow, the power of the mind will overcome a disease - it reminds me all the time of faith healing, where terminal cancer patients will go so far as to travel to Australia to have a hermit lay his hands on their heads and utter a short string of nonsense. If you want to know real negativity, read this:

      There is typically no hope. Tinnitus is illogical. It shows up in some for no reason. Some people can go to a 120dB concert for 5 hours and get no T. Some can expose themselves to 110dB earbuds daily and get no T. Some can shoot guns from the day they're born til the day they die, and retain the ability to hear silence.

      Websites like https://www.tinnitustalk.com/ pander to the unlucky 2% of the population who, for some reason or another, acquire this curse.
       
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    4. Kane Moffat
      Badass

      Kane Moffat Member

      Location:
      Glasgow, Scotland
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2015
      We're all suffering in different ways and to varying degrees. But if the condition is causing as much suffering as you suggest what else do we have but to view it positively.? But i agree its a fucking nightmare haha
       
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    5. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Vaba, very good comment, people try in vain to brainwash with positive ideas that are really irrelevant. It is really a curse
       
    6. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      There are two options for tinnitus sufferers.

      1. Accept a mangled life, deprived of peace until you die, living in a limbo, drained of hope. We can apply for disability and rot away searching for treatments, or exhaust ourselves trying to follow your previous dreams, all while being tortured relentlessly.

      2. Die.

      I've been depressed for 10 years. I am 21. Antidepressants and therapy have no effect on this depression - because it is rooted deeply in physical illnesses. People such as I are wired to love peace and quiet. People like myself are the types who solve problems and cure illnesses. I haven't ended y fragile life because I retain hope that one day I will find the reason behind my idiopathic tinnitus.

      This thread is necessary.
       
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    7. Mario martz
      Creative

      Mario martz Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      This is a support forum, im sure there should be a lot of other places where you can rant or express/spread negativity.
      this is a place to seek support.
       
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    8. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Vaba , was better your previous avatar, that inspired more reliability when reading yours comments, not this. were you the boy in the photo with drinks?
       
    9. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      Yes, I've been meaning to change my avatar for a while now, because I'm nowhere near that happy. I'll put it back
       
    10. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      ok , it is looks better, but, are you the boy in the photo?
       
    11. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      Yes.
       
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    12. Fangen
      Playful

      Fangen Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Stockholm, Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2nd, 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma (loud concert for 1h)
      Or maybe the reason behind your negativity is due to your depression? It is impossible for someone in a depression to see the "positive things". Sure, I'll never be able to enjoy silence again. That is something that I really miss. Do I regret a lot of things in life? Sure I do. Have I've ever been depressed? Of course I have. That is why I know that it is hard to see anything good in life while you are in a depression. Happiness is defined by yourself, I know what makes me happy and that is what I aim to do in life. I would have agreed to all your statements at the onset of T, and the weeks after that. I would refuse to believe it would get better, how could it? But months passed, I got many scares and setbacks during that time, but it is better. It is not silent, it is not lower, the T is the same as before but I feel mentally better.

      So "Accept a mangled life, deprived of peace until you die, living in a limbo, drained of hope." - sorry that you feel that way but you don't have to accept that kind of life. No one have a perfect life, I am not saying it will get magically better but you can always find small things that makes it better.
       
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    13. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Curse, good term to describe tinnitus , I say this because I know that life could heal us if it wanted to, being that in every pregnancy, and conception, life is creating new beings , new brains and new cochleas , around us , so that it have ample capacity of cure, then life cursed us.
       
    14. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      There is no treatment for my depression. If you read my comment completely, the depression is solely due to physical ailments (i.e. the total loss of peace from tinnitus and visual disabilities.) I have tried to treat this pseudodepression for 9 or 10 years with drugs and therapy of all sorts, I have even been institutionalized. There has been no help - I will not get better without physical treatment. You said you felt better about T after some months with scares and setbacks - I have missed out on 2 years of my life due to it already now. There have been no "setbacks" or "scares" and I have tried therapy and drugs in that timespan, but they didn't help. I'm glad for you, if you don't require silence as a part of your life. But I do.

      I do have to accept that kind of life. I will never have peace again until I die unless I can cure T. I'm in a limbo - I haven't made any life accomplishments in 3-4 years, while my few friends go on with their lives - going to college, getting married. Sure, they have their problems too - obesity, social awkwardness, fibromyalgia; All of their problems can be overcome with willpower - the obesity will go away and the social anxiety can be beaten (I have beaten mine), and fibromyalgia remits. My friend doesn't suffer 24/7 with it. However, no matter how hard I fight, I will probably never beat my illnesses. Tinnitus and vitreous degeneration are constant torture that never cease for a millionth of a second. I have no motivation to build a life while I'm being relentlessly tortured.

      I can't not live with tinnitus, and none of the small things in life can make up for this kind of life-shattering damage. I don't care if I'm happy for a split second when hanging out with friends - the moment we stop talking, there's the screaming T! You can't escape it. At the end of the day, no matter what I accomplished or what happened, I will have horrific tinnitus and visual problems. There is no escape, and the situation will not get objectively better; I can only change the way I feel about it - which I can't and won't do - but mostly can't.

      For some reason, evolution decided that mammals were one of the only types of creature that didn't need to regenerate hearing. Basically every other type of creature in the vertebrate phylum can regenerate hearing - but mammals lost the ability for no discernible reason, even though it's a strictly positive trait - and we need it the most.

       
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    15. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      Hux you have some issues, best get them seen to by a professional.
       
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    16. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      We all have the same problem here, tinnitus , which some see it one way or another but this not remove the problem.
       
    17. GregCA
      Frustrated

      GregCA Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      Maybe for some sufferers, it's not just the "I'll never be able to enjoy silence again" that is the major source of their stress. Instead it could be the T stimulus that is so intense that they actually feel pain and discomfort to the point that they become cognitively disabled and unable to function, not a mere annoyance.

      If I put a ring around your finger (like a wedding ring) and I tell you you will never be able to take it away in your whole life, you'll start freaking out from your lack of control (that's psychological), but little by little, you'll realize it's not that bad: after all, we married people have it on for many years and it's not an issue, even if we wear it until we die. You're not freaking out from the physical pain, you're freaking out from the lack of control.

      Now if I put the same ring, but I make a mechanical version of it with spikes that stab you every second of the day, and tell you you will suffer that for the rest of your life, you'll likely have a different reaction from the previous example. No matter how much counseling you are going to get, you will still feel the stabbing pain 24/7.

      When someone wearing the first ring comes to you and tells you you should simply chose to be happy while you are getting stabbed 24/7, I doubt it helps, even though it may come from a good intention.

      I view these examples as parallels to T, where T can be habituated in some cases (i.e. psychologically be "forgotten about" or "put in the background"), but other cases are so extreme that they do not respond to psychological treatments, as they are too intense physiological stimulus.
       
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    18. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      Can you describe the noise you hear? Any hearing loss?
       
    19. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      Mine has an unknown cause. I'm near the edge of having "slight" hearing loss on an audiogram in 2 frequencies - and audiograms have inconsistent results because the T is so loud in the booth that I can't hear some sounds over it. The left ear is a pure tone that is highly somatic. Chew? Spike. Move head? Spike. Look to the side? Spike. This side of my face feels like it has a fading "slap" injury all the time - it tingles for no discernible reason. The eustachian tube in that ear crackles 5x more often and 5x louder than it should.

      The right ear has perfect hearing up to 17kHz. The tinnitus in this perfect ear is 3x louder than the tinnitus in my left ear. The sound isn't a pure tone - it's a warbling scream that changes tone from low-pitched to high-pitched several times a second - EyyyyyyAWWWWWayyyyewweAWWW... impossible to describe. The volume of this sound decreases when air pressure inside the ear increases.

      I've had long stretches of time where I had pure tone T as a kid. I easily forgot about it. It's NOTHING compared to this sound. You can't habituate to something so inconsistent - the difference in sensation and sound in both ears keeps me chronically off-balance and distracted.
       
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    20. Sen
      Caffeine

      Sen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      October, 2012.
      I hate my life, but I still crawl through each day because I'm afraid that death might be worse.
       
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    21. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I also think death could be worse than life, because if nothing rescues to one in life , much less when we are rotting, and just as no one can heal us , no one will go for our souls
       
    22. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      Nothing happens after death. Religion is a product of man - created within the past few thousand years to give the suffering a reason to struggle. In fact, many religions, such as Protestantism, encourage struggling through life, pinching pennies but not spending, because hard labor pleases God. If you've ever taken a sociology class, you'd be able to see that these people's religion basically makes them perfect targets for big corporations looking to get reliable laborers who don't ask for much.

      Check out Max Weber's 1905 book The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. It is an excellent explanation of how many religions are social institutions invented to serve a purpose.

      What REALLY happens to you is that your atoms are reconstituted as dirt. Is it really so hard to imagine that once the electrical signals in your squishy brain stop firing, you just slip off into a permanent sleep? These electrical signals are your "soul." How often they fire, what neurochemicals your neurons release, how they respond to these chemicals... all of these things make up a unique human being. That's why psychiatric drugs change not only how you think, but who you are in the long run - I know they've changed me. Once these chemicals and signals stop, you stop existing.
       
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    23. Sen
      Caffeine

      Sen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      October, 2012.
      I don't believe in any religions. I'm just not convinced we understand as much about reality as we think we do. I agree that it's most likely nothing happens when we die, much like how it was before we were born.

      But that instinctual fear of death still overrides my will to die.
       
    24. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      vaba writes very well and fast, does not seem a person of only 21 years. On the other hand, I think that death is worse than life as well as the darkness is worse than light, or noise is worse than silence. The opposites.


      first of all, the dead do not see because they no longer serve their eyes , hence many people reported seeing saw dark when they were dead for several seconds.
       
    25. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      If the death of hair cells cause us this torment , I do not want to think that will cause us the death of the body , could bring more tinnitus to our souls.
       
    26. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      @Telis

      Your brain is what interprets sound input from the electrical signals in the ear. This is why you never hear T when unconscious. Without a brain, tinnitus doesn't exist. Despite my negativity, death is worse than life for sure because of both the effect it has on those who love you and the fact that it eliminates any possibility of an increased QOL.

      You can't have quality of life without the life part. However, I view life and death to be just two neutral sides of the same coin. You flip that coin every moment of every day, usually landing on heads (life) but it will inevitably land on tails eventually. Some people don't even get out of the womb without landing on tails...
       
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    27. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      If you are religious you do not have to fear death and your family should throw a party because you go where you pray to every day.......to your God... So I do not understand why those families cry when a family member dies because they go to God and when they die they also go to God and are being reunited with there loved ones.

      I train MMA fighters and when some MMA fighters win ...they always thank God first....which I hate because your trainer/coach is always there for you and teaches you everything.....luckily my fighters don't do that...but I am sure it will happen one day.... I know from opponent coaches and trainers that they hate that moment too :) .... oh wait ...I am getting off topic ;-)
       
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    28. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      East Coast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1998
      I'm sorry that you feel this way, but there appear to be a lot of people who have dealt with this for a lot longer than you have who have come to rather different conclusions.

      I don't expect you to believe that, though -- you seem far more concerned with being right about everything (including things no one really has answers to like the basic nature of reality) than with being proactive... so I'm sure that anyone who disagrees with you must either be delusional or dealing only with a very mild tinnitus. I guess that I must be in that latter group, it's so mild I can hear it over my motorcycle at rev ;)
       
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    29. Hux

      Hux Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I do not know , I came to the conclusion that we have no escape either in life or in death , then this is hell which there is no exit and where people constantly suffers. Whoever wants to be positive it may be, but obviously that does not eliminate the tinnitus is still there .

      And we suffer more when we are surrounded by healthy people able to enjoy life. Good scenario for hell
       
    30. Vaba
      Shitfaced

      Vaba Member

      Location:
      New New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Unknown
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Gradual, Progressive
      Well, the two options ARE to live a life disabled or to not live. I don't see how that's not correct to say. I'm glad that you've somehow accepted your disability and the permanent loss of true peace. My academic hopes and dreams, unfortunately, cannot accommodate tinnitus.

      Secondly, I only said that some religions are a man-made construct, provided a really great citation that backs this theory up, and that after your brain's electrical activity stops, you "go dark" mentally... I'd love to receive a well-constructed argument that offers an alternative.

      Thirdly, what can I do about my tinnitus that is objectively proactive and reduces physical suffering? Masking? Tried it, no... Therapy? Tried it, no dice... Drugs? See aforementioned results...
       
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