The New Kid in Town with Questions

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Mat_, May 31, 2019.

    1. Mat_
      Balanced

      Mat_ Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      14/05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden hearing loss (recovered)
      Hello,

      My name's Mathias, and I recently had, nearly 3 weeks ago now, a sudden hearing loss. I've been totally deaf in the right ear since 43 years (I'm 46). Of course, that feeling of "bloated" ear put pressure on myself because it is my " last " ear. Went to the doctor, the inside of the ear was a bit red, prescribed antibiotics. Had a little tinnitus, nothing really important. 3 days later I was driving to Spain, and then it came, in all its strength. I remained quiet, had a little panic attack at night, and the next day, I was at the emergency unit of the main hospital. Doctor checked, found my eardrum was a little red, the audiogram showed I had lost some frequencies. Nothing important, but on high and low, there was a "hole". Steroids were prescribed, the week after once I came back, the " holes " had disappeared. Doctors told me my Eustachian tube is in path of being healed and I won't have anything left in a few weeks. I don't know why, but I doubt it. If it happens, the better, but until then?

      Of course, like most of us should probably not do, I've ran through the internet and read terrible stories. At the same time, I was totally unable to have good nights of sleep, sleeping 2 hours a night at most. So anxiety came by but only by moments.

      I have been treated for heavy OCD and related depression years ago (and I can say I'm healed, if one needs help about OCD, I'll do my best to help you, but not here, it's all about tinnitus). Since then, I've trained into MBSR, self-hypnosis, and a little in EFT. I'm basically a very anxious, ruminating, overthinking person. It makes me realize that there're some tools we'd better acquire when we're "sane" or "healthy" instead of learning this while suffering, may it be physically of mentally.

      My tinnitus is present most of the time, I sometimes have days where I get up and it's not there until a few hours later. It's high frequency. So I've started meditating again, haven't done self-hypnosis yet but it will come. I sometimes feel tempted to shout at it "Get out", but it only brings bad feelings of anger and anxiety. I've decided to let it be, may it leave or not, in a corner of my head, like those people living in front of the railway but that don't "hear" the train anymore, or, in fact, pay attention. I've tried masking, but I have the feeling it makes it worse, like if by masking I was actively doing something "against it" and it was trying to bypass the masking. I want to habituate, that's simple, may it stay or not, for now. I don't want to wait a year and realize it's still there and I'm still hoping it leaves by itself. I accept it, now. Of course it was annoying today when it was on spike at McDonald's while talking to my colleagues. But eh, It doesn't prevent me from focusing at work, live my life, I consider I "forget" it most of the day, and yesterday, I fell asleep with tinnitus ringing without taking an Atarax to sleep.

      My feelings:
      - Even if I "accept it", I'm sometimes taken by some kind of primitive fear for a second "It will never leave!!!"
      - Sometimes it really leaves, really, I often then have the bad idea to "call it".
      - It doesn't affect my meditation (relief).
      - Depending on how I put myself lying, with my arm over my head, it can become close to silence, but I have to check that again.
      - Driving the car seems to over stimulate it.
      - It's more present in the evening, even while watching tv.
      - On one evening, I played with it and was able to really, with a concentration effort, lower it and keep it low for longer intervals (a minute or two, not hours!). Worked once, never again.

      My ideas:
      - I'l meditate to remain in an "accepting" view, and relax. The intention is here, the fact not yet...
      - I'll try the BTS (Back to Silence) method (I strongly believe in neuroplasticity, that's how I ran away from OCD. Check Jeffrey Schwartz 4 steps if you want to know more).

      My questions:
      - I'm just investigating, and I'm a Star Trek fan, I was reading about William Shatner and TRT: is it a hard therapy, and are the results globally satisfying?
      - Tinnitus in general and step 1 of BTS: how do you stop looking for it? Is it something you actively do, like setting up an immediate "escape pathway" kind of "if I start thinking about it, I'll think of me gardening"? But I fear doing this would maybe anchor gardening. Looking at a point in the room, coming back to something physical (putting your hand on your desk)... ? In fact, what I don't understand yet about this first step: "stop giving it conscious attention", is there a method, refocusing on something else, emptying your mind, whatever? Does something specific work well? I think I'm not too conditioned yet, but I'm an overthinking person and if I can get the right tools now, the sooner the better.

      Thanks in advance, I realize many here habituate (and I guess most of those who fully habituated don't come anymore), science is improving, there is hope.

      Thanks for being here and helping.

      Mat
       
    2. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Mat_
      Balanced

      Mat_ Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      14/05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden hearing loss (recovered)
      Ah one thing to add ... I have no taste in socializing but with my wife and kids, I'm having a hard time keeping working out, or fixing old computers (my hobby). Like if I was closing myself a little, sort of. No taste.
       
    3. Ken219
      Frustrated

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      I've heard too many stories of sudden hearing loss. I think we are finally frying ourselves with electromagnetic field frequencies and microwaves. New weapons of 'war'!
       
    4. James Brown
      Sporty

      James Brown Member

      Location:
      Portugal
      Tinnitus Since:
      09-1998 2013(worst)2018 (T+H)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposition-noise trauma-siren
      Your tinnitus is at a low level, so you should adjust just fine. Much of the process of adapting to it depends on the level of sound you get in your ear/head. Each person is different, but low tinnitus is like wearing glasses, after some time you don´t think it´s there. I´ve been living with it for 21 years and just some years ago I told my wife I have tinnitus. If the sound is high pitched and high volume, the process is harder. With all the experience you have from OCD, handling tinnitus must be a piece of cake, trust me, in a few days it will be a minor problem.
       
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    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Mat_
      Balanced

      Mat_ Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      14/05/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden hearing loss (recovered)
      Thanks for your kind words James. It's normally high toned I think. Got a rendez vous for specific evaluation of tinnitus at the end of august. The thing is that it fluctuates, sometimes it is " over every sound " and hard to lrave in the background. And I find the overall " thing " reaction is very " rollercoaster " : when I posted I was iron minded, and this evening I suddenly started crying while talking about the situation with my wife (as always, I overexxagerrate ... What if I can't focus anymore and lose my job, what of my wife gets bored and leaves me ... But those are side effects related to my fear of not being able to assume. Nothing to do with tinnitus). I'm back to motivation right now. I've been playing with my son then had dinner with my family. 2 hours where tinnitus was forgotten in a corner. I'm feeding myself with those observations for some kind of positive thinking and affirmations.
       
    6. winstona
      Balanced

      winstona Member

      Location:
      Toronto, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise exposure and excessive ear irrigation
      What Method did you use to achieve back to silence? Sometimes, when I go to a public toilet and use those super strong hand dryers for a minute, my tinnitus goes away for a min or two and slowly came back. Is it something similar?
       
    7. JohnFox

      JohnFox Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Sudden loss of 100% hearing R ear with Tinnitus
      I too experienced a sudden total hearing loss in my right ear, being now left with significant tinnitus (on my bad side) and hyperacusis in my good ear, and of course total deafness in right ear. The tinnitus (hissing/static noise) bothers me much more than the loss of hearing. This happened about 3 1/2 months ago and I am doing my best to habituate to it. I think what helped me the most was coming to grips with accepting it. Total acceptance. This is now me. This noise isn't going anywhere, it is a part of who I am now. ..Short of total acceptance, I don't know how I could habituate to it. But now, I am finding that there are more and more periods (1-2 hours) where I realize that I really didn't notice the noise in my head. Those periods are beginning to become more frequent as the days and weeks pass. Instead of thinking about how unlucky I am to be one of the rare cases of sudden hearing loss with tinnitus, I am now thinking about how blessed I am to be one who's tinnitus isn't any bloody worse than it is, and I am on the road to habituation. Very much a challenge to turn positive with this menace, but it must be done. No other choice. Hoping for the best for you.
       
    8. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      It is great that you got steroids which has helped with your hearing loss. Many people described their T taking its time fading following the original cause being cured. Your doctors were right - chances are your T will eventually fade. You will either get to hear silence again, or you will get to the "can hear it only in a quiet room" stage. It might take 2-24 months to get there.

      Wait a month. If you notice that your T has faded compared to how it is now, then there is no reason why it shouldn't continue to fade. What happens on any given day is not important - what matters is the monthly trend.
      If your T is moderate/mild (and it doesn't fade), there is a good chance that you will achieve habituation and will stop noticing T after 18-24 months.

      You might want to be easy on your ears for the next year or two. Don't go to any concerts. Consider not going to movie theaters.

      Check out
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822
       
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