Tinnitus and Life Update

Hi friends. It's been a while so I thought I would give a life update.

It's been now almost been two years with tinnitus, and while it isn't gone, I hardly think about it at all. The only times it ever gets to me is if something else is stressing me out. But this summer in particular I have spent a lot of time working on my own happiness, doing things that make me truly happy like exercising, reading, and spending time with my kids and wife and family. We implemented a Sunday Adventure day every Sunday this summer and it has been fantastic. I actually remember the exact moment my tinnitus went from a major issue, to a minor issue, to a non-issue. It was a major issue when it began (Sept 30, 2014), became a minor issue when I took my son to the Mall of America and got out of the house in a semi noisy environment and overcame a large fear of noise (Jan 1, 2015), and became a non-issue when my second child was born (Sept 30, 2015.)

Just a few days ago, my and my wife's oldest pet dog, Beckett, died. Although we have since started having kids and our lives have gotten much crazier, it was still much, much harder to lose our first fur baby than I ever expected. I sat with him while they gave him his euthanasia shot and while he is in a better place now, I am still coming to grips with losing such a gentle, loving part of our family. If there is anything I can take away from it, it is to be as gentle and loving to others as our dog Beckett was to us. I really think there is something to how animals and children can teach us about life--by default, they live in the present moment and don't have the cognitive ability to keep "thinking" about the past or the future. I think this also applies to living with tinnitus--I'd say a large majority of my suffering with tinnitus had to do with worrying about the future, and wishing that my life was different than it was. I came to peace with the idea that this is where I am and what my life is, and that has helped immensely. Obviously everyone has a different story with tinnitus and different levels of loudness, but I do think there is something to the idea that most people with tinnitus eventually find their equilibrium again. (That's not to say that it isn't a major problem to be solved--it is.)

More than that, too, I have fond memories of Beckett resting his tiny head on my chest when I was really in the throes of suffering, and I remember how comforting he was to me, that even if the world felt like it was collapsing around me, he was there (of course, along with my wife and friends as well.) I can only hope to "pay it forward" by being that kind of person to others throughout life.

 

@marqualler Do you still have hearing loss?
How loud was your T and did you have H?
I saw you had conductive hear loss

 

Hi @Dominic1955, per my last ENT update, I still have the mild hearing loss dip at the 4k range but nothing that affects my daily hearing. I have not been tested for the higher frequencies since going into a different audiologist in Jan 2015 but I imagine that my higher frequencies are still a "ski slope" shape. It's hard to say how loud my tinnitus was / is but per the "loudness sL" test I was around the 9-13 dB range. I did have some hyperacusis for a few months following my ear infection that triggered the tinnitus.

I hope that helps.

 

Marqualler, First of all congratulations on your success story, im really glad you find a way to return to enjoy your life again, god bless you and your family.
Second.. sorry to hear about your dog, i have a strong relationship to my dogs too, so i understand.

What captured my attention is what you said about babies and animals "They don't have the cognitive ability to keep "thinking" about the past or the future. I think this also applies to living with tinnitus"
I totally agree, and i think.. trying to do this...is what have helped me to avoid my anxiety and fear.
right now i only live for the moment, and dont care much about the future or the past.

this is our life, this is our moment, and today is all we have

 

Update for you all:

I got back from a trip to NYC with my wife and a bunch of friends and had a blast. This was my first plane trip since I first got tinnitus back in Oct 2014. I had actually cancelled two other flights between then and now because I was so afraid of what air travel would do to my ears. It was bad enough flying without tinnitus, and I was deathly afraid that flying after the ear infection with the damage the infection did to my inner ear would collapse my eardrum.

Not only was my flight uneventful, it was one of the best two flights I've ever had in my life. I came very well-prepared to fly, having taken an antihistime and used a neti pot before flight both flights, and using Earplane earplugs. I am not really sure whether the Earplanes really helped me clear my Eustachian tubes on take off and landing but that part of the flight went as well as I've ever done. I will definitely be wearing them on future flights. I think they may have opened the ear canals just a little bit more so it was easier for me to clear the pressure changes without resorting to the valsalva maneuver.

As for the trip, we had a great time visiting friends, going to karaoke in Manhattan, visiting the Met, checking out the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, and going to the top of the Empire State Building at Midnight. I have been to NYC many other times in my life but this was the best trip of all, for so many reasons.

I just want to reiterate that for most tinnitus sufferers, life eventually goes on and gets better. I wish for peace and happiness for all of my fellow T people all over the world.

 

You look so happy. Congratulations!! We all follow you...

 

for sharing this inspiring and beautiful story @marqualler! It gives us all hope that we can eventually come to a place of acceptance and peace while the storm continues~

 

Love the pics @marqualler ,
Glad you want on and had a great time and ears were fine too...lots of love glynis

 

You are awesome, @marqualler, thanks! Glad you are well and happy. Thanks for the pics.

And sorry about Beckett. I finally have a dog, Howard, after wanting one for so many years. He's 3, a rescue. Just thinking that I probably will outlive him makes me sad, he's so loving and wonderful. It indeed is never easy to lose your furkids.

 

Hi Did you go ahead with the tympanoplasty operation in the end? If so did it make the tinnitus better or worse?