Tinnitus Gone

Hi everyone

This is a recovery post as I am completely rid of my tinnitus. I've hesitated to even log on to the forums again, as I feel very done with everything tinnitus related... But I knew that when I got well, I wanted to share it - because the rare stories of recovery was what kept me going when I used to have it.

(This is gonna be longer than I thought ... It's the writer in me )
My story:

Tinnitus appeared out of nowhere, maybe due to pressure, extremely loud music and stress in my life. I still have no idea. I lay in bed one night and got this ringing/static noise. I thought nothing of it until the next day on my way to work when it still hadn't gone away. It was difficult to focus at work, and the following weeks I couldn't sleep. I'd doze off by 6 AM for a few minutes and wake up again.

I took a sick leave off work as my mental health began deteriorating. I googled tinnitus and was horrified by the stories. At this time I lived on my own and had no one to turn to. I lay in bed all day and couldn't eat food. It was like I was shutting down out of pure fear. I've NEVER felt this weak, and on this very day I can't recall exactly how I felt back then.

I got fired from my job due to downsizing and couldn't pay my rent. At the age of nearly 30, I had to move back home to mom. I couldn't care less of the transition though, as all I could feel and think of was terror and panic of the tinnitus not going away. I went to different ear specialists, with their main response being: don't worry, at least it's nothing serious. I recall wanting to rather lose a limb than to have tinnitus for the rest of my life. This too terrified me, because I love life, and it felt like it had been taken away from me. It's hard to explain the exact sorrow that came with the tinnitus. Everywhere I read, it said the best thing you could do was get in touch with a cognitive therapist only to learn that even though it's permanent, you can still lead a fulfilling life.

I remember watching a TV show on decorating. There was a woman there who laughed a lot, being carefree. I felt I'd never feel that feeling again, but seeing as she was so happy, I chose to hang on to that as a proof that life can be something good as well. As if she was a source or proof of happiness, and that it can be reached.

Randomly, on my frantic online research, I found an article written by a Norwegian tinnitus researcher, now in her 60's. She meant that tinnitus is a natural thing happening due to all sorts of reasons, that we can habituate to and in the end be rid of entirely. The solution: just focus on something else! I contacted her by text just to tell her that there's no way this thing goes away by focusing on something else. And even if it does help, so what? You'll still have it, even though it lowers from time to time. It's still an eternal prison. She told me to focus on other sounds though, and stay in touch to tell me how it went. She knew plenty of people who'd gotten rid of their tinnitus.

PATH TO RECOVERY
Due to not having a job, I began venturing out at cafés during the day. I got out my pen and paper and got writing. Writing a book is my biggest dream. After some weeks of café visits (not daily) I managed to not hear the tinnitus for about 30 seconds at a time, sometimes a couple of minutes. This was a big deal to me, and I knew that if it stopped for just some minutes, it meant that it could stop all together. I realised that as long as I can have these small moments of happiness, I won't feel like dying 24/7.

I got sleeping pills from my doctor but I'm sceptical of anything pill-related and didn't want to take them. I guess mostly I was just upset that my brain couldn't ever get tired enough to just faint or something. I tried different tinnitus apps and a certain type of hearing phones beneath my pillow to fall asleep but none of that helped.

I focused on the old timepiece we had in the living room at night (I couldn't bring myself to sleep in my bedroom because the silence, and hence the tinnitus, was immense). At some point between the hours of 3 and 4, I had focused so much on the tick-tick-ticks of the clock that it was all I heard. This lasted a few seconds. Again, I saw it as proof that it's possible to hear other sounds only, without the tinnitus. Though this was a dark time overall, and my parents took me to the emergency room the next day because I was fatigued and didn't eat. It's sad to say it, but I was desperate, endlessly sad and overall tired. 29 years old and your parents take you to the emergency room because you're not mentally strong enough to even deal with tinnitus... great.

The doctor was a great one, though. He didn't speak much of the tinnitus, only about things in life and how it can impact us. That most things come and go, even cancer, and that our bodies keep us safe in the strangest, most unknown ways. Also, he was quite handsome, and the fact that I noticed was another sign that life could involve good feelings despite the pit I was in. I took ANY positive as a sign it would get better.

IMPROVEMENT
By the next weeks, I could forget about tinnitus for several minutes during the café visits. Stepping out and hearing the tinnitus would be nerve wrecking each and every time. It meant it was still present. Oddly, reading an article I found one of the forums about the reason of tinnitus, helped relax me a bit. It explained it as a noise coming from the brain and by simply focusing off it it disappears from your awareness even though the noise itself still exists within the brain. This is exactly what the Norwegian researcher had told me, but for some reason the new article felt more explainatory. I needed to personally understand the goings of tinnitus.

This was the first night I managed to get a few hours sleep rather than minutes. The mere explanation of tinnitus helped me relax, and I realised that if I can manage to fall asleep with tinnitus, at least my body and brain will be able to get much needed rest in the midst of it all. I was still anxious every night before bed, but learned that I did fall asleep eventually. In sleep, it was gone.

I began taking the researcher's advice seriously. I distracted the tinnitus all I could. I had the radio on, the TV, I took plenty of showers to drown the sound, stayed longer at cafés, tried taking genuine interest in the conversations I had. I explored pubs in the early evening, as the volume is a bit louder then, but not too loud. Coming home after that, the ringing in my ear would increase as if to compensate for the sudden stillness on my walk home. This was annoying but felt trainable, so I kept visiting pubs in the evening and going home to low radio afterwards. The pub's were never extremely loud, just a bit amped up in volume compared to my radio at home. I didn't overdo it, and was always careful to go after what felt right for me. I wanted my mind to adjust to other things but the tinnitus.


THE HARDEST PART
... is ignoring the tinnitus, because the act of ignoring means there's something to ignore, meaning it's always in the back of your mind. I'd get very defeated by the end of the day when I noticed it hadn't gone away at all. It's like there's no end in sight. Even then, you have to continue. Sometimes I'd get so tired mentally that I'd give up and just hear the tinnitus. But like a muscle, my mental focus grew stronger. This is a beautiful, strange part about the brain. What feels like a struggle becomes a habit you don't even notice.

I'm not sure what exact moment the tinnitus stopped. It could be silent for a few days and then a certain screech off the train station would trigger it for the rest of the day. It all happened gradually. I don't have any tinnitus now what so ever. No ringing, no static noise streaming from the inside of my brain, and it's been like that for a long, long while. I'm sure I can pick it up if I focused intensely on it, such as when writing this post, but why would I? It's seriously not here. It's truly, truly possible for it to be gone!


THE AFTERLIFE
My life now is completely normal. I thought that without tinnitus, life will feel like a brand new paradise, but it's really just back to basics and the everyday activities, lol.

My main points are these:
* Get out of the forums unless you search for success stories

* Ignore tinnitus even when it feels hopeless. Don't stop. Try again every single day.

* To anyone who tells you you'll never get rid of it: that's bullocks. Maybe I could pick it back up with really listening in to it, but why would I. I have heard silence again. I can be in stillness. I have no need to bring it all back.

* It's not a magic trick. Our heads are filled with noise, and it is our awareness of it that helps sustain its connection to our conscious state. That sentence won't mean squat if you have tinnitus as it's all consuming. It's important to realise that with the brain, it doesn't help that you yourself feel it's horrible and that it should stop. The brain learns by direct feedback, meaning that ignoring tinnitus over and over gives the brain a direct answer: "You can stop now, I get it. I've already moved on to completely different things."

I tried acupuncture and reflexology and noticed some relief, but quit after a few times as I didn't have the will or energy to do anything in life at that point. All though these treatments helped, they were in no way the essence of the tinnitus going away. To others it might be. Go do whatever you sense is working!

Tinnitus can have so many origins. Acoustic trauma, medicinal side effects, physical injury, shock, stress, etc. According to the researcher, the cause doesn't really matter. The noise is still coming from the brain. It's still tinnitus. It's still a noise being channeled the "wrong" way. And it's this noise itself that you can train to not be in your awareness. In that sense, the origin of the tinnitus doesn't matter.



The way I felt it, these were the stages of tinnitus:

* First, you ignore the tinnitus and find that it's not working. You try for hours and days and weeks and maybe months. You realise that maybe it will never go away. Cue depression and endless hopelessness. It's important not to stop here. You should still try to ignore the tinnitus by putting on music, going to the cinema, a café, a social gathering, anything.

* Defeat. It still hasn't stopped and you are mentally tired from alle the ignoring. I would be terrified of ending up in a silent room. This is VERY tiring. You are never truly relaxing. It's like running away from something.

* Something changes. This is the hardest part to explain. Ignoring tinnitus felt like so much of a habit that it went on automatic sometimes. I genuinely did not hear the tinnitus, not because I was busy listening to other things, but because I'd actually forgotten there was something to ignore. I would then remember it, and it'd be back again.

* The habit has physically settled somewhere inside you neuron pathways and it stops being an effort. This act in itself can take months or maybe years. Despite having a degree in psychology I've never thought it would be possible for something so strenuous of a mental exercise could actually grow habitual in the end. As in: there's no pretending. There's no trying.


My personal survival points who may be of no interest but meant the world to me:

* The woman on the TV.

* My parents, who despite having had a crap relationship together, joined selflessly to be there by my side when I was at the emergency room, when I needed a place to stay, when I cried my eyes out in a feetus position on the floor by the kitchen table etc.

* One evening my closest family came by to have coffee. They never come as a group so I sensed they'd might be doing it to show they're there for me. I felt a swell of gratitude for the family I'd been born into (despite sitting there with a static ringing in my ears, lol).

* Certain songs would feel like pure beauty (like Philip Glass - Metamorphosis Two).

* Stories. It was like a crutch I leaned onto, and I could mold it whatever way I wanted.

* Driving, taking the bus, the train. Movement. Planes. Getting drunk on occation.

* Cafés. This was when I was in pure survival mode and did barely care about getting rid of the tinnitus; it was more about making it through minute after minute.

* Inner realisations of who I was as a person. Never before have I felt my goals and dreams so vividly as when I felt I couldn't ever have them again. I am more confident now, and I know myself a lot better. I love life and the fact that I'm here on earth to even exist. I feel like everything is more alive, and that time is precious and it's all just a short glimpse anyway.

* Moments of beautiful visions. At 6 AM one morning when I couldn't sleep, I was crying. The sun shone through the window, and outside was a bird chirping. I couldn't believe how precious that bird felt to me, and how beautiful that morning light was, despite my sorrow and fear. It probably didn't matter to my tinnitus, but on a soul level, it was important.


Health/food

* I did quit coffee and alcohol at first because I read somewhere that it's not smart to have during tinnitus. At least I got to know all the great benefits of silver tea on a detailed level And true enough, I had wine on the second week and the tinnitus DID go louder that night. After 3-4 weeks I went back to both coffee and alcohol, and decided not to have a strained relationship with it. Again, it's intuitive and you should try to feel what's best for you. It's not like I have wine everyday anyway.

* As with any unbearable illness, you'll be desperate to try out any solution. My advise is to put it into perspective and not overthink the food/drink situation. I've read about people who did a yeast elimination routine with food and got rid of tinnitus. Or just eating healthier in general, working out, etc. I think that is awesome. There are many different reasons that tinnitus occur, and for those inflamed/yeast induced healthy food is definitely a way to go. My point is that no matter the reason, do what you want to fight it, and remember that for EVERYONE it's a signal coming from inside the brain. Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

Congrats Norway girl, could not be happier for you.

Really nice way of putting your thoughts Into words. Thanks for sharing your story and coming back on here to give us a bit of hope.

 

I see that you developed this in sept 2017 (same month as me). How many months would you say you had it for before you began to notice improvement in the actual volume of the tinnitus?

I've wondered for a while whether habituation actually promotes proper healing for some people, perhaps those in the earlier stages. I think this is what you are saying?

 

I'd say three-four months. But during this process I've learned of many other people who may not be active on forums, but who've had tinnitus for years even and still been able to habituate (if that's the word?). So the length of it itself shouldn't matter. I read somewhere that if you have tinnitus after three months it won't ever go away. I suggest not focusing too much on those "rules"... It's so individual, and it's my belief that everyone has it in them to combat this, but when I had tinnitus nothing anyone said would make me feel better so it's hard to motivate someone who has it. Also, considering the actual physical changes that needs to happen in the brain to habituate back into non-tinnitus mode, it might take longer the longer one has had tinnitus. Like having walked a trail until the grass is gone, and then you need to walk elsewhere so to let the grass grow back. It can take a while, but it's fully possible. If I make sense

 

Thank you. Feel free to ask me any questions!! I don't have all the answers to tinnitus so it's just my personal view, but I'd love to talk about it

 

Consider yourself very lucky I have severe T and wish to be back to moderate or at least mild T.

 

hi norwaygirl,
nice story very inspiring and it gives hope to everyone that there is light after darkness
and god is the light whoever comes to him will be given hope.
thanks and god bless us all

 

To be honest you’ve said most of it in your post. Im going to try and focus on other things intensely and see if I can only hear that other sound and not my T, I really like that idea of trying to train the brain (I’m guessing) into not hearing the T.

I’m just over 2 months with T and it’s been hell for me emotionally and physically.
It’s only over the last week I’ve felt more clear headed and postive that this won’t beat me, still anxious and don’t sleep that well but feeling better in myself overall.
I know you said you don’t listen for it, do you worry it may come back? Do you protect your ears if your going somewhere noisy?

 

@norwaygirl Hi! Thank you for your inspiring story! May I ask if you took any meds during this period? How loud was your T? Could you hear it all the time?

Best wishes from Sweden

 

Many thanks norwaygirl. Reading posts like this really gives me hope. Did you have a continous tone, or did it fluctuate? In one ear or both? Was it worsened/triggered by something?

Mine varies in intensity and sometimes in frequency, and could change from ear to ear. Sometimes I almost can't hear it, other times it's very high, almost unbearable. It seems to be triggered by something, like electric motors, city background noise, noisy fluorescent lamps.

 

Awesome post, thanks for sharing your story. Almost shed a tear of happiness for you, congrats on getting over this crap.

 

Lucky you..... I wish ears could heal :/ In order to recognize a more severe ear damage my belief is that, apart from tinnitus, you should have problems with locating the sounds, there should be some sort of sensitivity to sounds and they should be a little bit distorted..... So, if you did not experience any of this, maybe your tinnitus is not caused by some big acoustic damage.... I have experienced all of these things... At first I did not know what that was... I thought I was tired so it was hard to locate sounds.... But, actually that was all due to damage... Well, take care of your ears and I am sure you'll be fine.... It could be that some mild infection was involved or really the stress....

 

Thanks for coming back and sharing your story. Each success story, either recovery or habituation, is a great support for those still tortured by T and/or H.
Congratulations!

 

Congratulations norwaygirl to your silence !!!

 

Hi! In the beginning my doctor gave me pills supposed to ease the pressure in my ear canal in case that was the reason. I noticed no improvement and quit after approx two weeks of it. My tinnitus was sort of a loud static sound, like when the radio searches for signal. It was usually high pitched, and present all the time! Best wishes to you too, neighbour!

 

I'm glad it gives hope! I've heard so many stories of tinnitus recovery after I'd recovered, but when I had it is when I needed it the most, so I decided to head back to the forums once I was rid of it in case it could help others. Your tinnitus sounds like the one I had! It varied in intensity (though usually high pitched), and wasn't necessarily a continuous tone but a stable, always present frequency. Sometimes lower, sometimes higher. It used to be in my right ear but would after a while come from the left ear, or in both at the same time - as if channeled from a centre part of the brain.

In the beginning I'd feel like my ears were an open, super sensitive gateway without filter. One day I was out and about, hearing this extreme screeching sound who seemed to pair with my tinnitus and make it worse. Far away I spotted a building site causing the screeching sounds, though the site was too far away for me to actually hear it that well. That was an odd experience. We had a buzzing lamp in the living room and that triggered/enhanced it, as well as a bus engine once, the train... Barely audible sounds that the tinnitus caught like magnets, enforcing itself. I had an episode when I thought I'd almost gotten rid of it before a certain sound from the train I took triggered it for the rest of the day. All in all, this happened less and less over time.

 

Yes, exactly! It's about training the brain. In the beginning it won't be possible to ignore the tinnitus. Even when you do focus on other sounds it's always in the back of your mind that the tinnitus is present no matter what you do. You have to force it away over and over. It takes a will power that's not even human, so giving up frequently and going crazy is normal procedure I don't feel my tinnitus going away was luck. I struggled and tried for so long without progress, and thought I'd never truly relax again because focusing on other sounds was so intense and difficult. It truly takes dedication, and all of your energy (before it gets easier).

The first months were hell for me too... I couldn't function in my everyday life. I was always anxious, especially before bed as I knew I'd had difficulty sleeping. No, I don't worry it will be back. I feel I know myself in a different way and that the tinnitus isn't something to fear in that sense. It's like giving away a sweater for charity and worrying it might end up in your closet again (or something ). It just doesn't concern me. Should I ever have it again then I have the tools to handle it. I don't protect my ears though maybe that would be smart I was at clubs dancing right next to the speakers and coming home I'd have a loud ringing noice in my ears. I assumed this to be my brain trying to balance the extremes of hammering music to complete silence. The ringing would stop after a few minutes, or I would fall asleep from it. This doesn't happen anymore, and could be because my tinnitus made me sensitive to noice in general. That said, protecting my ears is something I try to get better at. I'm going to a concert this month and will probably bring ear plugs for that.

Also, I don't know how you go about your daily life, but know that I'm here in case you feel it's very hard. I'd do anything to hold each of your hands and get you through this together You can always write to me if you need support, guidance or just to vent.

 

Exactly like mine! So it IS hope . Many thanks for the reply norwaygirl. Wish you much luck, love and happiness !

 

Avoid going to concert at all, ear plugs provides only false sense of protection.
I have seen some people posts on this forum who gets tinnitus even after wearing ear plugs, just do your own research before going, silence is very precious.

 

Thank you so much for writing about your journey. It really gives me lots of hope!
I wanted to ask you though, was your tinnitus somatic by anyway? Were you able to manipulate the sound with your jaw movement for example?
Because I have tinnitus for 15 months in my left ear ( of unknow cause ), and I can increase the volume of it by protruding my jaw. I just wonder if you had that too?

 

Thanks norwaygirl for posting this! I'm in the middle of trying to do same thing as you did and I've noticed some improvement after a few days. So it might be that my tinnitus is not directly due hearing damage (which I did suffer though), but from the stress of knowing that I did some damage and it causes auditory "hallucinations" which is my tinnitus in this case.

 

Hi! I'm so glad it gives you hope! I still don't know the exact reason for the tinnitus, as both stress and loud volume on music was part of my life at that moment. I couldn't manipulate the sound in any way.

I've heard of your type of tinnitus. Going to a reflexologist might be beneficial, it has helped me gotten rid of other illusive illnesses in the past and I'd never even heard of a reflexologist before that. I also saw a post on here about apple cider vinegar and some had recovered because of it. Maybe because it reduces inflammation. Also, the body always changes, and over time it could just go away on its own. There are many solutions, so no matter what you try I suggest also doing the ignoring tinnitus part, which is essentially just letting the brain know you don't need to hear the sound anymore no matter the cause. Best of luck to you, and keep me updated if you want!

 

Are you? Cool! How promising that you notice improvements already. It could either be a genuine physical damage or just stress. Along with my tinnitus I had auditory hallucinations as well, probably due to lack of sleep, and thought I was going insane at one point.

The researcher, and the article I read on tinnitus, was about it being "curable" no matter the reason. It's purely the brain being taught not to tune in on the sound. She said we already have lots of noise in our brains, and sometimes things occur that makes these sounds become audible. I don't know about tinnitus to know enough about it, I just chose to try the ignoring part because I had no other hope. Best of luck to you

 

Hey, first of all great success story! Secondly, could you post a link to that article?

Best,

Chris

 

Hi Chris

I've searched through all my documents and log on my computer and this is the closest thing I can find to the document I'm talking about: http://tinnitus.org/trt-excercises/

It might be the one but I can't remember exactly. It helped me out anyhow. The Norwegian researcher also posted something online but that's in Norwegian and also a bit dated

Excerpt: In a high proportion of tinnitus sufferers, tinnitus becomes a problem because of the belief that a there is nothing that can be done about it. As your beliefs about this changes, and it takes on a much more benign picture, habituation is able to start.

 

Did you Hear crickets, very mild drills, or waves?

 

I’ve been trying to focus on other sounds, so far no results but I will keep trying. I’m a big believer in postive thinking so I will try my hardest to keep my thoughts postive and concentrate on other sounds and see where it takes me.
I was always in the clubs when I was younger, remember the ringing in my ears as well after a night out. It always went away by the morning so I didn’t think too much into it.
I will always have ear plugs with me now when I’m out just in case, I had a pretty good social life before this and really haven’t done much since. I’m ok with this at the moment as I’m trying to stay away from loud situations for the first few months.
Did go to a restaurant last week and it was a bit noisy but used my plugs and enjoyed it, had no spikes which is great.
I’m just taking each day at a time, who knew this “noise” in your ears could be so damn debilitating haha.

Thanks for your reply and will keep trying to concentrate on other sounds.

 

Thank's for the reply! I will start ignoring my T and just focus on other sounds. Hopefully the brain will cooperate I read about a girl who started ignoring the T. After two years it could go a month without her noticing it and after five years she believed it was gone.

 

Thanks for replying, I've seen this site, it's TRT's basis.

It seems that you were spontaneously cured i.e. the tinnitus went in remission whilst you were using habituation techniques, I'm really happy for you, that's awesome.

 

Hi @norwaygirl thank you for your post its very positive and gives me hope. I have had T since about the same time as you maybe a little later mine started at the end of november. However, unlike you you I am still really struggling with it! I think I have the same causes as you as well apart from I do have a slight hearing loss. I have an electrical hissing sound all the time i my right ear and off and on in my left. I have had moments where I have forgotten/not noticed it but they have been few and far between. I don't really get that much sleep .....anyway I have read your post so don't really know what I am asking you as you have explained everything....Im just really low and can't take this much longer and I suppose Im just reaching out...