Tinnitus Is Possessing My Life

Hi, everybody,

I write this story because I, 1. am completely desperate and 2. feel that I can air my heart out here, I regularly read along with various topics.

It all started in November 2019 last year. I came home from sports, took a shower and then went to watch TV on the couch. At that moment I heard something cracking in my ear. At that moment I knew immediately that it wasn't okay. I heard a noise with an occasional high-pitched tone.I then panicked very much but I had no trouble sleeping the same evening. I never put on loud music or didn't go to a party/club for a long time, so it should be okay. The weird thing was that a few days before I had my tinnitus, the subject of tinnitus was discussed at work, maybe I already had it but because of the conversation the tinnitus made me notice it more. I dropped it at one point because my girlfriend came by. Because of her I had a lot of distractions and I didn't focus on the tinnitus. I thought, well, that will go away by itself. Unfortunately it didn't turn out that way. I started to get more and more into the subject, went through forums and came across one horror story after another, which only created more panic in me.

After the weekend I visited a doctor. He indicated that my eardrums had retracted a bit and prescribed a nasal spray. Unfortunately this didn't help anything. I also didn't feel at all taken seriously by my doctor. The following weeks followed with sleepless nights, worsening of my tinnitus and the hopeless walking with the soul under my arms. Finally after endless visits to the doctor I got a referral to the ENT doctor. He took a test and looked into my ears. He came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with my hearing (no hearing loss) and my tinnitus was probably caused by some 'mental' (stress). I am a male of 28 years old. Last year I had a stressful period during the completion with a mostly a lack of sleep.

After a visit to the ENT doctor I only panicked more because I couldn't figure out what it was. It started to dominate my life more and more. I couldn't sleep anymore, work I couldn't focus on and during the time I haven't been a nice boyfriend to my girlfriend at all. Luckily she supported/supports me. If she wasn't there, i think it would have driven me crazy.

I had everything physically tested (blood, blood pressure and urine). Everything was fine so it wasn't because of that. At a certain moment I managed to sleep again, but my obsessive behaviour towards tinnitus didn't disappear. Especially when I have a high beep in my ear once in a week that lasts a few seconds to a few minutes. It scares me enormously, but then it disappears again. Because I focused more on it, small beeps have come. During the day I don't hear these. Only when I sleep.

A week ago I got the flu. My tinnitus is going through the roof and more ringing is appearing, which is making me more and more anxious.

I'm desperate right now. It completely controls my life and more and more I feel like I'm losing control of my life. I was very much looking forward to my future after completing my master's degree. Now that this has been added, it seems as if the ground beneath my feet is disappearing. I'm talking to a psychologist to see if my former problems are the cause of my tinnitus. I always try to work out more to find distractions.

For those who have read it, I appreciate it. Thank you for letting me share my story with you.

From the Netherlands,
Love,

Moraad

 

The flu in July? You mean you had COVID-19, right? That can make tinnitus worse.

 

Do you think the tinnitus gets worse from COVID-19 because of flu like symptoms or because the virus attacks hearing (like taste and smell).

 

No I don’t have any COVID-19. They tested me a couple days ago and the result was negative.