Tinnitus Week 2018 / Day 3: How Does Your Significant Other Help You Manage Your Tinnitus?

Do you discuss tinnitus with your partner/family/friends/colleagues? Do you think you are getting enough support? We often find it may be difficult to talk about tinnitus, so please voice your experiences below.

Remember to also complete our Significant Other Survey!



Comment below. You can also respond to our Facebook post.

 

Knows I don't like to be around loud places and loud music.

 

There's nothing anyone could ever do for me. This is a personal internal struggle for me and once I realized that, it became no more in need of support than a headache.

 

Being supportive and understanding when I need to take time outs from different settings.
Shows empathy when I feel sad for not being able to attend concerts or go out and socialise like I once did.

 

She doesn't

 

I have never had a significant other, and the chances of ever having one since I developed this condition are now even lower.

The knowledge that having a significant other can help your tinnitus (as well as many other parts of life) since social integration is the number one indicator of health in the western world is pretty depressing.

Maybe a significant other would only make me feel more lonely. I have multiple T tones constantly with me.

 

My husband helps me in many little and big ways. From giving me emotional support by letting me vent my frustrations and worries to handling the louder household chores like vacuuming.

Recently we were going to meet up at a large restaurant after work. He arrived earlier than me and walked around with his phone decibel app. He texted me the readings to make sure I was comfortable with the volume level, then when I arrived he had already spoke with the staff and picked out a table in the quietest area.

It surprises me how often he does that. Even just checking out speaker placements before picking a table at a quiet restaurant or a seat at church.

And for Christmas he bought me a very nice wireless speaker that has been a huge help with sound enrichment in my house.

 

My husband understands when I need to take time to myself to go for walks, jogs, swim on my own. I agree this is an internal struggle that can often make me feel alone or "disconnected" from others. However, alone time gives me a chance to cry out my feelings and frustration so I can return with my "happy face" to my husband and kids.
My husband will warn me before he turns on the vaccuum so that I can put on ear plugs/head phones, he also supports me in getting my kids to stop yelling in the house, and seems to be okay with me when I want to avoid loud places. Sometimes he just wants to pretend I do not have T, which I do not find helpful at all!

 

Yes, she does help me with emotional support, and other ways, quite a bit. I spend a lot less time talking, and thinking, about tinnitus and hyperacusis, than I originally did, which is a good sign.

 

My wife understands my T plus she understands my PTSD from Nam. thank you to my wife

 

My husband knows, but we are quiet people. So, when we go out someplace he'll ask is this quiet for me. And if not we'll leave for another place, And I like that.

 

my wife has helped make the decision for me of not playing in rock bands anymore to prevent anymore damage after decades of being a lead singer/guitarist member, however, something positive has come out of this as I cant totally stop doing something I love so now I have purchased lovely 6&12 string acoustic-electric guitars for soft sounds of open air '' in the park '' concerts in spring to autumn, and you get to meet wonderful people who stop to listen and compliment !

 

My husband is learning to have the TV volume down and he seems to be empathetic to my needs for things to be less loud...like being conscious of banging the dishes around while he does the dishes. He still needs to work on how loud he speaks into the phone while I'm in the same room. I love the times when I'm able to ignore the T!

 

I'm going to go look for a decibel app, thank you!

 

No understanding, no help. At best considered as a headache. At worst as a depression. Try to explain what is T, good luck...

 

Says 'God help you'

 

Nobody really understands it...

They feel sorry for a moment but they always forget at the end...

And when I used to date women, at the beginning they were careful and understanding, but quite fast after they got bored of this situation !

Feeling lonely !

 

Not really. All she is worried about if I hear well enough (I have hearing aid).

 

My husband has always been my strength. I am thankful after all the years with tinnitus that he still takes my needs in consideration of whatever we may plan.

I knew I had to continue to fight this battle just to make him happy. In the first few months he would come home to find me huddled in the closet and rocking back and forth. He carried me into different various doctors offices. Finally, after about six months I started making myself live again. I still remember that long walk in a parking lot to the grocery store for the first time. It was my first hurdle.

Together we formed a plan to help others. And for a few years we worked with the ATA providing grants for medical treatments for people in need. This took us on an incredible journey of hope. This was always a private matter but was made public by someone who wanted to hurt me.

And then that program was horribly ended in the most hurtful way. So we withdrew from anything to do with tinnitus and went on our way. To this day he misses the way we were involved in helping people.

Which brings to my mind a few individuals that entered my life during that time. One was a very successful business man in Los Angeles. He had a family and two young kids. We were able to get him help in Oregon and for a year or so his life seemed to take shape. Until, Christmas Eve two years later I received a call from his wife that he had committed suicide. And this was not my first experience with this terrible issue.

I think it is harder on men than women. I think some wives may not be understanding or that the guy is so crippled by his tinnitus he just becomes withdrawn from his family. He feels defeated.

Back in 2002...

My friend's last words to me were I just cannot think because my tinnitus is screaming. We had been talking for seven hours straight. He had nothing. Lost everything. He didn't have a significant other. He spent hours helping other people on a support board.

He shot himself as we were talking.

This event led to the program with the ATA. My life changed forever. We just wanted to stop the needless hopelessness.

I was shunned for speaking out back then. I also suffered from PTSD following that incident. So after the program was dismissed - I withdrew from everyone in the tinnitus world.

I worked on myself to overcome the PTSD and get on with life once again. Tinnitus had not changed but my determination certainly did.

And not so long ago I was shamelessly offended on a tinnitus board for the entire ATA program by a person who set out to hurt me yet again. His words will never ever be forgiven. Yet, people seemed to shrug it off and not care what it did to me.

So then I started looking at this site and how hard Steve and Marku work. And the others who are involved with the running of this board and the facebook site. I however, do not do any social media whatsoever other than post on the forum.

This is the short version of my life story. I really need to write the entire story some day.

But the above is why I keep my profile closed off and hope others are not offended in any way.

My husband misses being involved and often asks me if I would consider getting back into it.

I just don't know yet.

I only share this because it is tinnitus awareness week - and hopefully - it will help.

 

My partner is very supportive, to the point that she also now has a reaction to loud and annoying sounds that she knows may annoy me.

If there are loud places I want to avoid she is always understanding.

 

I think it may be common for people with tinnitus hyperacusis etc. to not have any desire for a significant other anymore?

 

I never had a 'significant other'. No hope in getting one either, so I just continue on my way drifting through life.

 

I'm single all my life too.

 

I don't have one so I wouldn't know. No such thing as significant other with T&H. Ppl are so selfish and ready to leave you when u inform them about it.

 

I have the ringing 24/7, this worked explaining it to several people.
Remove hearing aids!
Download Tinnitus Sleeping Aid by Mordy Geist (TinnSleepAid), I have it for Android.
Use the Tuning to find your frequency and volume.
Un-check White Noise.
Play
...
My Bride asked if I could turn it off... I answered "no I cannot".
She has had a better understanding since then.

I have used this app to explain T to several people. I am sure there are apps to reproduce the clicking/hissing/and other sounds.

 

Mine does not. She finds it a major annoyance in her life and has copied all my negative texts to my only support person and I have now I dea what she plans on doing with them. I assume she is leaving shortly.

 

my sig other does nothing to help me manage my t.

 

I mean, I don't have a significant other but I do have some close friends that are understanding and will turn the noise down on things if I ask them to or will totally understand if I need to take an ear break