Too Much to Bare, What Should I Do?

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by stacey, Jan 12, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. stacey
      Bookworm

      stacey Member

      Location:
      New York, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/15/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Hello everyone my name is Stacey, I've had tinnitus for about 7 months now. I know everyone's situation with tinnitus is bad but I honestly feel like mine is beyond horrible. So here's why I was born deaf from one ear but had perfect hearing in my other ear, I never once had an issue with my good ear. Until 7 months out of no where boom got a ringing in my good ear, don't know how, never been to a concert or any loud noise event.The ringing is so unbearable that it makes my already bad hearing even worse. My head literally feel unbalanced because the ear I do hear from has tinnitus and is extremely painful and my bad ear the one im death from is just neutral no pain or sound, my head just feels unbalanced because of this. loud sounds hurt my good ear, so now i don't even go outside in the morning. I literally feel like im just waiting to die :(, what should I do? should I just give up? most likely in a few years i might just go completely deaf and hear only the loud ringing, the thought of it just makes me give up, I hate waking up every morning, this isn't a life for no one:(, Im sorry for sounding so negative but im ive just hit that point where I just can't take it anymore, this is torture.
       
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    2. Viktor Salvatore
      Smug

      Viktor Salvatore Member

      Location:
      Las Vegas, Nevada
      Tinnitus Since:
      7-5-11
      Hi Stacey. I'm suffering pretty bad at the moment. I'm listing to youtube nature sounds. A forest setting with lots of crickets which provides me some relief. I also listen to earphones which play this same cricket sounds during much of the day. I am sorry for your torture and pain. I assure you i am going through it just as you are. I have had a jet engine in my head today. i watched a bit of the Dallas vs GreenBay football game today and tried to ignore the sound which had high pitched overtones on top of the jet engine sound coming through the football game sound on the TV.

      It is hard i know. It is painful i know. I look forward to going to bed in a few minutes and taking one 10mg Melotonin and two Valerian root capsules which Knock me out in 30 minutes or less.

      Try to get an mp3 player and download the cricket sounds from Youtube...give it a go. There are also some sounds you can download from ATA.ORG or even on this T Board. Just ask around and you'll be directed instantly. This will no doubt help as it has helped myself and others.

      Medical science is moving in the direction of a cure or help of some kind.....we are all hoping soon. Until then please hang in there with the rest of us sufferers and know that your not the only one suffering. Yesterday, i broke down and cried several times as i could not take it anymore. I have broken down many times in the three years since i have this. This Tinnitus resulted from a firework that exploded very near my head. I wish i wasn't there that day...but its over...and now i must get through to the next day. One day at a time.

      So for you Stacey. Please continue to seek out help from these members, and do what can help to get you to the next day and the medical break through which is going to happen soon.

      V
       
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    3. uncle vikin
      Musical

      uncle vikin Member

      Location:
      nashville tennessee
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Subjective tinnitus r ear cause ( unknown)
      Stacey,
      I've had ringing in my only good ear since Sept 2014 it does make it feel out of balance so I can relate very we'll .I can tell you ,I have experienced everything the anxiety, staying at home, sensitivity to noise.You are about 2 months longer than me .Stacy we are still new with this and with time I know you've heard all this before but I hold it to be true even though I have not experienced it yet ,those on here that have had it awhile ,all say you will get back to your life once the brain learns to ignore it.Because we have not reached this point Yet:) does not mean it won't happen.I know it's tough .Someday we are gonna look back and say I'm glad I've got my life back and when we do we are gonna live life with a new meaning it's gonna feel great and it will change us for the better.We care about each other on here and we can relate to each other .Stacy I am thinking of you and will continue to and hope you will feel you can talk to me . We will get over this. Hugs from (Mike )
       
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    4. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Stacey,

      I'm so sorry you're experiencing tinnitus in your good ear, and can imagine that your head must feel unbalanced right now. It sounds like you may also have hyperacusis in your good ear right now, since it is so sensitive to loud sounds. You might want to post a comment on the Hyperacusis section of this forum, so that can you can get some advice and support from other hyperacusis sufferers. From what I hear, it usually goes away eventually, even if the tinnitus doesn't.

      I agree with Uncle Vikin (Mike's) comments above, that tinnitus does improve with time for most of us. I'm one of those people --- I've had tinnitus for many years, along with pulsatile tinnitus. While my T and PT are not gone, my brain has adjusted to them, so that I am able to function normally again. I believe that you will, too. In the meantime, do you have a good doctor that you can go to? Perhaps you could get a short-term prescription for some anti-anxiety or sleep meds to help you through the first months of your tinnitus.

      Take care, and please know that we're here for you, for support and whatever guidance we can offer.

      Best wishes and hugs,
      Karen
       
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    5. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Great advice from others. I am one of those unlucky souls who besides high pitch T also suffered severe hyperacusis. My H turned all normal sounds glassy and piercingly hurtful. I couldn't stand the sounds of TV, dishes, driving, conversations, even the soft voice of my wife hurt when spoken close to me. Gosh! H is actually more limiting than T in the sense that I had to withdraw from all social events and life became lonely. No eat outs, no parties, no movies, no concerts. I was in a 'prison' of sort. I had to wear earplugs but the plugs blocked all outside sounds making my ultra high pitch dog whistle T so unbearable dominant. H and T are two mutually exclusive tyrants. There is no lesser choice between them. They overwhelmed me and turned me into a wrecked. I was in deep depression and had a hard time sleeping. Worse, I also suffered from anxiety and panic disorders prior to T & H. So these two alien beasts literally opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode the minute I woke up. No amount of will power or things I learned from internet could stop these A & P attacks initially and their horrible symptoms are even harder to take. People have been known to be house bound for life or refuse to fly or even go shopping due to the horror of panic attacks. And I was dealing with these unbearable sensations w/o any choice. How does one live with such unbearable and unlivable condition? Often the tired and stressed and stressed out mind was floating the big 'S' word to me as it saw no way out of this 'hell' of a life. For how long? The thought of the future could send chills through my spine. The only way to cope was to take meds, benzos, AD, sleeping pills, herbal supplements and what have you. I never thought I could recover from this nor ever see my good life back.

      But never say never. Today I live a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. T still rings but my brain is hardened to this ringing and doesn't give a dime to it. The same sound used to overwhelm me. No longer. It has lost its tyranny over me over time. It is now just a paper tiger. What about H? Well, like many people, my H just faded within months. It is actually the easier one to shake. Just wear ear protection for loud sounds but don't over-protect for normal ambient sounds. Nowadays I could go movies w/o earplugs and I have been flying even long inter-continental flights with nothing but my fingers (during the takeoff) and an ipod for music. I can say I kick H's a s s like many people. So if your current fear and suffering is H (which sounds like), don't panic and relax. It will get better. I know of a lady who is like you, deaf in one ear, and had been to ER for a few times due to her T stress. She is living a normal life now 12 years after her T started. So have hope that you will be fine too in time.

      I am not alone and Karen and others are not alone. The success stories forum are filled with people who get better over time and after some help one way or another. In general, time, acceptance, positivity and patience plus some strategy will lead one to improve over time. So remember to give Time enough time. Hope you will improve. Relax and don't despair.
       
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    6. stacey
      Bookworm

      stacey Member

      Location:
      New York, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/15/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Thank you so much Uncle Vikin (mike),Victor Salvatore, and Karen for the kind support, I will try me best to remain calm and go about the next day. Karen I've been to 2 different doctors who said nothing could help, one doctor offered to give me injections to my eardrum and I quickly declined that because it just sounds too risky, but im definitely gonna check out the anxiety and sleep meds!!! because I only get 3 hours of sleep on average, so it would be a big help.
       
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    7. Ken219
      No Mood

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      @billie48 You brought me to tears only to leave me with great hope. I'm in my 8th month of a 3rd relapse and maybe it is because I'm older I'm finding it hard to cope. Thank you billie48
       
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    8. stacey
      Bookworm

      stacey Member

      Location:
      New York, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/15/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      billie48 Thank you so much for telling me your experience and how things got better, that made me feel a whole lot better, into being a bit more positive. You explained EXACTLY everything im feeling and experiencing right now, and the fact that you got a lot better over time, made me feel that there is hope. Tinnitus and Hypercausis together is extremely horrifying and im currently living in my own prison just as you said because loud sounds are too painful to bare. But im really hoping in time I can get back to my life just as you did, so that I can go out and experience things the way I once did, I will keep hope and give it time. I really appreciate your feed back and advice, helped a lot!!!
       
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    9. stacey
      Bookworm

      stacey Member

      Location:
      New York, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/15/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @billie48 as mentioned thank you so much!!
       
    10. Kopesy
      Balanced

      Kopesy Member Benefactor

      Location:
      England, United Kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      19/09/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma'?' (Unknown)
      @billie48
      Top man. Love reading these. Thanks for sharing :)
       
    11. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Stacey,

      I loved Billie's post, too! Please don't give up hope; there are ways to cope with what you're experiencing right now, whether it's meds or natural supplements (I take magnesium chloride for calming and for sleep, as I'm really sensitive to most meds). But the main thing to remember is that things will improve for you. We're so glad you've joined our forum, and hope you'll keep coming here for support -- and one day, maybe you'll have a success story of your own!!

      Best wishes and hugs,
      Karen
       
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    12. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Thanks for the kind words. Like many contributing members here, we are here to help and if our collective effort can help alleviate sufferings from our members, it is all worth our time and effort. Hope you will all improve over time. Here is a little write up I posted earlier on how to cope with the mental side of the T & H sufferings. I repeat some important points here and hope these will be helpful to help you stabilize the emotional sufferings:

      Trust in your body's natural ability to heal and the brain's neural plasticity over time. In the battle with T, the mental side of the T struggle is every bit as important. When you attempt to plunge back to living your life, as you are gaining back some enjoyable aspects of your life, you may have setbacks. It is time to really understand the powerful CBT concept of avoiding 'All or Nothing' thinking, a cognitive distortion which is quite common for newer T sufferers. The trauma of T can cause us to negate the value of the other aspects of our life, as if life is not worth living unless the T (and H) is gone or reduced. But this may not be the reality now (if not the future). Resisting such reality can contribute lots of suffering and prolong habituation. So we need to move closer to our reality to avoid the brain getting stuck on insisting T has to be this or that before life is worth it. You will have anxiety and depression to no end unless you are willing to compromise with life's reality.

      I realized my mistake of All or Nothing thinking at some point, and slowly I switched over the concept of ' accepting peaceful co-existence' with T. Compartmentalize T and minimize its damage. Let T be. Let the rest of our life be. I was willing to accept setbacks as part of the equation to eventual habituation. Be mentally prepared for that and don't freak out when setbacks hit. My new motto is 'finding joy amid the pain and living life abundantly to compensate for any suffering from T (and H). The sooner we can do that, the sooner we start to reclaim our life, T will be treated less and less a threat, and meaningful habituation will then slowly begin. So remember, acceptance, positivity, patience, seeking out effective strategies (read up the success stories to learn some insights), and finally and most importantly, give it time. God bless you all on your recovery.
       
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    13. Gabrielle
      No Mood

      Gabrielle Member

      Location:
      Netherlands, Utrecht
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, maybe bad syringing
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    14. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Thank Gabrielle. But TT is full of heroes and heroines. I am merely one of the contributing members doing my share to help out a newer member here and there. I happen to post more here at the Introduce Yourself forum whereas most members post at the main Tinnitus Support forum. So I encourage newer members to post at the Support forum where you can rant, interact and seek advise for your specific situation from the members at large. The collective wisdom of these members is what TT can offer to the newer members. So don't forget to read up on the success stories where such collective wisdom and insights is shared generously.
       
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    15. Peter61

      Peter61 Member

      Location:
      The Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2012
      @billie48: Thanx a lot for your encouragement. I suffer from T and H since August 2012 due to acoustic trauma, and it has turned my life upside down. Nothing seems the same anymore, I've been to hell and back. But your post means a lot to me, I can relate to it so well, and you're absolutely right, positive thinking is the key.
       
    16. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Thanks Peter. Hope you will get better and better. For hyperacusis, if you still have issue, please post in the H support forum so others can give you advice. You can also seek advice from Dr. Charlie who is a retired ENT and himself has had to deal with H. His will be professional and personal advice for you. Good luck and God bless.
       
    17. Michael2013
      Happy

      Michael2013 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2013
      Hi Stacey,

      I can very much relate to your situation. I also grew up deaf in one ear (35 years old now) and got tinnitus almost a year and a half ago in my good ear. I actually got it while running a marathon and suffering some additional hearing loss as a result of that run. I even had hyperacusis/sound sensitivity for awhile. I probably experienced all the same fears you are now experiencing. I was worried it was going to get worse and make it even more difficult for me to hear. "How would I work if I could not hear?" "How could I support my family?" "Life is just not enjoyable anymore." "I can't even do simple things like going to a baseball game." And on and on. I had lots of negative thinking like that, and thankfully many good forum members (thanks Billie) provided lots of positive advice that really helped.

      The truth is none of that bad stuff happened. I eventually found something positive to occupy my time with. I focused on work, family, hobbies, and anything else I could. I read all the positive success stories on here and I just knew I would be fine, eventually. And I am. I wear hearing aids (biCros, I can't actually hear anything in my right) and if I don't have them in, the tinnitus is always far worse. In the beginning I heard it almost all the time, but now that it doesn't scare me, I rarely hear it anymore. It's like once you truly no longer care if you hear it or not, you usually start to hear it less. I consider myself 100% back to normal. I am no longer anxious. I sleep fine. I am not afraid of everyday loud noises. I flew to NYC and spent a week in Manhattan, riding the subways, walking the streets, and even attended Derek Jeter's last home game in Yankee Stadium. It was loud and crazy, and it didn't bother me a single bit!

      Have you had a hearing test done? If there is any loss, it's possible hearing aids could help you. I purposely bought some that had noise generators built in so that if I got too anxious I could turn that on. I used it all the time earlier on, and now I never do. I also once thought I was born deaf in one ear, but now after lots of tests I know the cause and it was likely from when I was a small child and hit my head. I have a condition that is believed to make me more susceptible to hearing loss with head injuries or increased head pressure. It seems there are lots of ways to damage hearing and get tinnitus, not just loud noise.

      -Mike
       
    18. stacey
      Bookworm

      stacey Member

      Location:
      New York, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/15/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @Michael2013 thanks a lot for sharing your similar experience, there's not many of us who are deaf from one ear, so I felt even more like it was terror. Just like you I always thought I was born deaf from one ear, growing up my mom always told me I was born this way, a cat scan and hearing tests just showed that a nerve crossed over so its not a sure thing. Im 26 now, I took hearing test for my good ear, and it came back fine, no lost hearing yet, I don't know what caused the tinnitus and hypercausis it just came out of no where, I was always careful not to go near loud sounds or concerts but then again as you said its just not loud noise that causes it. I haven't been getting much sleep lately and have a lot of pain, is it safe to take advil p.m. or aleve,would it make the ringing louder if i take it? I need some kind of relief, my ear feels painful and a bit full, like a cooling sensation
       
    19. Sailboardman
      Frustrated

      Sailboardman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sensorineural hearing loss right ear.
      Stacey, for sleeping, try taking 3mg of time released Melatonin. Safe and non-ototoxic. I also use 5-htp. These work for me.

      You can also purchase a sound machine to put by your bed that has sounds of crickets, rain, the ocean, etc. I have 3 running all the time throughout my home. There made by Hometics and cost me $20. They have been lifesavers.

      I'm a newbie to T also and have been stressed with it also but listen to the veterans here and life will get better. See a doctor for stress and anxiety. Most of all keep as busy as possible.
       
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    20. Michael2013
      Happy

      Michael2013 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2013
      It's been a long time since I took advil PM, but I have never had any problems with it. It's probably not something you want to take every night. The above poster gives good recommendations of things to do. The only other thing I would recommend is to keep yourself busy and physically active during the day so that your body is actually tired and ready for sleep.

      -Mike
       

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