Very Sad and Scared About Tinnitus

Hi Forum,

I retired from a very stressful job last spring and am still doing a little part time consulting for my favorite client. It took me about 6 months to begin to relax and enjoy life again. Then I got tinnitus, maybe from grinding my teeth, maybe from the biofeedback device I was using to help stop the grinding, or maybe just from aging or something else. I don't know.

I still cannot believe this horrible noise will not go away. At first, I felt very panicky; now it's more like deep sadness. Sometimes when I am focused on something interesting, I forget about the T, but the rest of the time it is torment. My T is a constant high-pitched loud whine, all day, all night. What has become of my long-awaited happy retirement?

And my poor husband. He is very sympathetic. I cope with T better during the day, but by evening I have a very short fuse and find myself apologizing frequently for being cranky.

I looked online for information about T and found an e-book that touted a miracle cure. He said T is caused by a negative feedback loop. How could a loop be so persistent and never-ending? At one point in the book, the author started talking about how foods can affect T. Okay, I get how that might work. Then he started talking about how doing "cleanses" are necessary for the cure. This did not ring true for me, and I worried that he is using T as a way to promote his business or beliefs. Ugh. I stopped reading.

My doctor recommended I see an ENT doctor, but he cautioned me not to hope for too much. He also said the hearing aids they recommend for T are very expensive. The appointment is scheduled for next spring. Meanwhile, sometimes I find recordings of bird songs soothing. I found this forum about a week ago. It's so nice to find non-commercial support! I saw the recommendation for listening to Binaural Beats, but that made me feel very anxious. I will read through the forum to look for other suggestions. Any other immediate suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

My heart goes out to everyone on the forum. T is truly a difficult predicament.

 

Hi @Mel295
I have had T for about 12 months, so can't advise you too much, but know exactly how you feel.
There are many wise experienced people on here who will definitely support you through this journey.
Their advice how the brain will filter out and start to neither focus on it, nor see T as a threat has helped me lots.
In the meantime check out the success and positivity stories, they certainly show how there's light at the end of the tunnel, and helped to start me on the path to recovery. I also use behind ear white noise maskers at stressful times.. Although it takes time, try https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172 Best wishes Phil

 

@Mel295. Hi first of all there is no miracle cure out there if there was this forum wouldn't exist. You will find a lot of ways to help you better manage your tinnitus on this forum.

 

Thank you, Phil-O and Richard. I will start with reading the "back-to-silence" thread.

 

Welcome to the forum. Sorry about your high pitch T. I have the same, an ultra high pitch dog whistle T. But on top of that, I also had severe hyperacusis. So when these hit me a few years back, I was overwhelmed and life was very difficult. But I read many success stories and began to have hope for the future. I tried to copy success and used some of their strategies. Then I add some strategies of my own. Today I am living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story like many members do and I listed many helpful strategies. If you have the time, check this out.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/from-darkness-to-light-how-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

If bird songs can help you, that is a positive sign. Have you considered other nature sounds. These sites have good selections of masking sounds. Check them out to see if they will help you. Take good care & God bless.

TT's audio player: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/audioplayer/

or download free sound generator ‘aire freshener’: http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html

or make your own rain sound: http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/rainNoiseGenerator.php

or search youtube with words like 'tinnitus masking sounds', 'white noise', 'rain sound' etc.

 

@Mel295 when exactly did you get tinnitus?

 

Need help purchasing hearing aids? Maybe one of these programs might help: http://www.hearingloss.org/content/financial-assistance-programs-foundations

I would suggest that you get your hearing checked at a hearing aid place for free. If you have hearing loss, sometimes just getting a hearing aid will fix the tinnitus especially around ambient noise. If not, you can get a hearing aid with a built in masker that can calm you down. If those don't help you can try supplements to help calm you down and if that doesn't help you can go to the doctor for medication to help with dealing with the tinnitus (however, meds can come with side effects so please way the pros and cons) Also, you can put an indoor fountain in a room where tinnitus bothers you the most.

Call around different hearing aid places and tell them you are interested but money is a concern..sometimes they can negotiate the prices and other times they can sell you refurbished aids!

 

Hi Billie,

I read your story and followed the links. I am blown away by the caring and support on this forum. T is very lonely and isolating, so the response of the forum means a great deal.

My T is also like a dentist's drill, an intense screaming monster much of the time. The idea of living with it forever is incredibly painful. You and the other forum members are giving me some hope, although it's hard to conceive of success at this time, when all I really want to do is withdraw from the world or not exist at all.

What does give me some hope also is that sometimes, miraculously, I don't notice it. This evening, I turned on an interesting documentary and sat at my drafting table to work on a painting and listen to the show. For 1.5 hours, T did not enter my thoughts. Then I got up and walked over to my desk, sat down, and opened my email. There was T again, screaming louder than ever. Right now, as I type, it feels overbearing, exhausting, and just painfully loud. It is so hard to imagine that these two states of being can exist in one head! If I hadn't experienced it myself, I don't think I would believe it.

 

I don't remember exactly when it started. It came on after I started using the headband biofeedback device to discourage grinding my teeth and jaw tension. (Even though I wear a mouth guard at night, I have broken many teeth from grinding.) I got the device about 1.5 years ago. The device makes a high-pitched noise to signal the wearer to relax the jaw. I thought there might be a connection with the T, so I wrote to the inventor. He said sometimes it does cause tinnitus. What an appalling revelation! He offered to lower the pitch of the noise, but that didn't help. The T just kept getting louder, so I stopped using the device. I can't prove a connection with the device, but it may have been the cause and now I have this dreadful affliction.

 

Great tips! I will be eligible for Medicare in June; maybe that will cover hearing aids. I'll look into that, too. I am very happy to be retired, but it can affect finances. T is so loud tonight, I think I will take something to help me sleep.