Wanting to Control the Uncontrollable

Hello fine folks of TT,

Allow me to spout some immature nonsense for a bit, please.

Here I am sitting, studying and 'preparing' my exams and the times, they are A-Changin'. So is the tinnitus. A new tone sets in, deviating my attention from where it should really be, hoping it'll take its leave again. I so badly want to control my own perceptions and headspace, but someone else seems to have taken the remote.

Then I see the huge stash of books/notes I still have to work my way through by the end of this week and maybe I'll just toss it right out the window. Then I'll lay my ass (pardon my French) in the couch doing whatever I feel like doing, while my ears are chiming away, not giving a damn. I'll just go to my exams and give answers they don't understand to the questions I don't understand. Maybe I'll philosophize a bit about the meaning of life with tinnitus at your side. That would certainly require an understanding on par with rocket science.

But that isn't how life works, right? Reality check. I can moan all I want after I get that degree, I guess, so back to the books.

Thanks for indulging me

 

Remember let head of year etc know you have tinnitus and should get extra study time and support with exams so look into it.
You might need a doctors letter to say you have tinnitus.
Love glynis

 

Thank you Glynis
Fortunately, the faculty has proven to be very understanding and they have given me some extra exam time and such. Of course, they won't be making my exam for me, so I still have to put in the effort. Giving it the best I can, it's all I can do. Sometimes though, things get a bit much and I'm left in a daze behind my books, as to how it has all come to this. Then I start thinking and writing nonsense, I guess

 

@Mellow7

You're doing a remarkable job of staying in the fight. I don't know how you're doing it but you're an inspiration to me.

 

I've always been jealous of people who have a work ethic.

 

Well, I'll be honest, it isn't what it once was. I used to set hourly, daily and weekly deadlines for myself during exam periods. I was pretty much constantly looking over my shoulder at the clock to make sure I had the planned amount of pages down within a given timespan. Though, maybe the stress that brought is what caused all of this, huh?