What Am I Doing....

I'm here to write about just what is going on, on this Sunday.....

The ears are buzzing and screaming like hell and it is not pretty at all. The noise is not getting lower, it's just menacing as usual. This is how it feels to live in my world, alone and filled with affliction. So, now that you know how I am...let me tell you about just how encouraging and distracting my day has been so far.

I am reading another book, watching some videos and as usual answer some posts and trying to help on this forum. I am pretty much doing 3-4 things at once and this tinnitus is very aggressive and it is impossible to ignore. I basically grew up with computers and remember my first 8086 computer and bill gate's famous quotes about the PC.

Then prodigy came along and I was trying to get lots of dates on that old school network. Then AOL came along and I was in LOVE!!!! AOL was the most amazing thing ever, the chats they had, the WWW they brought out. It was just amazing and It was the core of my life back then and it will always be the core of my life forever.

I just ordered a vintage AOL disk and the emotions and passion just flashback and it's such a powerful feeling. Even with these DAMN ears buzzing like hell and being menacing to me, i'm still overfilled with the emotions.

Point of the post:

No matter just how bad your ears are, our emotions can still carry us. Good feelings and memories can still empower us. Yes, this is a positive post and yes I am MR POSITIVITY while living in AFFLICTION, so use it and reach for some empowering positive emotions and try to smile

 

Hi there
You are such a lovely person to write about overcoming affliction.
Just been out for lunch with d-in-law and 3 year old grandson. Ears zinging like mad, tiring. I’m really hoping to conquer this again like I did so many years ago.
Sunday warm wishes to you Fishbone.
Eve.

 

Just by being out and not staying home proves that you are a warrior. Never give up and cherish the love that good friends and family can provide/give. I wish I had a family like that(I have no family) , so don't ever take it for granted.

 

What you are doing works for you and your point is well taken. The secret is not to be distracted by your tinnitus, but to be distracted from your tinnitus.

 

@fishbone - I have to say - your posts always inspire me - you know that.
You have so helped me to get through the worst times of my affliction, by:
‘recognising my pain,’
‘telling me I could make it through,’
‘saying - if fishbone can make it, anyone can make it,’
by actually convincing me that survival was possible for me!
by being an incredible example to all of us.

But there’s one thing I don’t quite understand.
You have no family to support you.
Most of us do have that.
How on earth have you managed to get so strong, to remain so resilient, to keep up there, more positive than any of us?
Who, or what, is your support?
Where does your inspiration come from?
You are an enigma my friend. xx

 

Ty for your kind words. I have always been helping people in my life. I recall when there was a thunderstorm where I used to live and I was riding my skateboard in the rain (I was 13) and I was going to tae kwon do. As I came down the street there was an older man and his wife. Both were older than 60+ years of age and they were holding unto the street light and were scared of being swept by the flood. I put my skateboard down and I walked across a 2-3 feet of flooding water and I pulled them across the street. I saved their lives.

I use to volunteer my time as a youth and visit convalescent homes and talk with elder folks and put a smile on their face and give them hugs and hopes. It brightened their smile and souls. They loved me and I loved making total strangers smile.

I use to and still drive around looking for the homeless people and wanting to help them (buy them food), talk to them and help them not be alone and in dark places.

I have rescued plenty of dogs. As I am driving if i see a dog, i will jump out my car and save them. I have seen pitbulls that look vicious and I have jumped out my car and grabbed them by their neck and saved them (MANY will not do this and PLEASE don't do this)

I recall when I was 8 years old and my mother got in a car accident and her car was literally sliced in half. Both her legs were shattered and she had metal rods stuck in them. I use to take her food, clothing and everything. She was stuck in that bed for almost 2 years and I was her only outlet to comfort.

My mom had broke her hips 6 years ago and was stuck in rehab for 6 months, I'd go and see her every other day for 2-3 hours and the smile she had, it was priceless. No one would go and see her, I was the one that was always showing up and putting a smile on her face.

I buy food for shelters, I give clothing, I hug and love strangers that are suffering....

These stories are just touching the surface, there are so much more stories. Like My fight with benzos and beating my addiction, while everyone else just told me to take more and more. My fight with intrusive tinnitus, arthritis/fibro.

For me PAIN has been my friend since day one. It never left me alone, it was just always there. I seen so much pain in my life.


My life has always been about making sure PEOPLE are ok and once I know that, then I will go and help another cause. I did this after i beat my battle with benzos and now I am here supporting you people on this site, while suffering with brutal, loud, intrusive tinnitus that will not go away.

Tinnitus is a personal thing for me. I have had it for 30 years and I want to make sure that people do not make the mistakes I have made. It's my duty to help people with tinnitus. I never had this help in my life and it would have been a dream to have someone answer my questions 30 years ago...

I was put on this earth to help people and comfort them..........

 

a very noble endeavour sir! This is what the very best of humanity does despite their own suffering.

Keeping yourself busy is an absolute must IMO in coping. Nor dwelling on what is. Merely living as best as we can.