What Is Wrong with Me?

My name is Matty, I'm a 22 year old guy.. who worries about anything and everything.

It all started in March of this year, I started taking a popular club drug Molly (MDMA), or most popularly known as ecstasy. I was hooked.. from May throughout mid October I "rolled" and abused the drug several times weekly until I finally overdosed at my job. I got so anxious going into work, I would panic every time I stepped through the door and get paranoid everyone would think I was on something. In late October I had one last panic attack before my headache (on a scale from 1-10, being a 10) started, and to this day has been off and on with constant "pressure" and "pulsating ringing" surround my head. After constant ER trips and taking anti-anxiety and pain medication I found out I had pulsating tinnitus from doing research online. I finally stopped using the drug and find myself dealing with feeling my heart beat through my head, and it pulsating 24/7. I can't sleep, I can barely eat.. all I do is worry and look-up stories online until I finally decided to post one of my own. It's taking over my life, and I feel like I'll never be myself again.. I can barely drive to work and put my foot on the break because of the vibrations I'm feeling in my head.

Is it withdrawal causing this? Is it anxiety and stress? Is it an ear infection? I just want it to stop.. I quit my addiction, what's next?

Thank you for reading. <3

 

Your brain pain nucleus has gone temporarily out of whack.
Say NO to drugs.

 

I stopped the drug usage a month ago, I don't do them anymore.

Thanks for the warm welcome, Mark! I haven't seen a doctor yet specifically for the treatment, just ER visits upon waiting for my insurance to kick-in. Tomorrow I'm going to a free healthcare clinic in the meantime. Yes, it's been roughly a month of me having PT and I quit shortly before it started and had the panic attack prior to the Tinnitus.

 

Unfortunately I read from other people who got permanent Tinnitus from Ecstasy(Even from onetime use at a party)so I think its a quite common side effect and not unusual. I honestly don't know, if the damage is reversible, because these syntetic drugs really mess up your brain and are extremly dangerous because they are so unpredictable. Give it time and in your case stay away from any drugs meaning also cigarettes and coffee just to calm down your system. For you it might also help to cleanse your body and stay healthy with good nutrition, plenty of water and some work out to calm the Tinnitus down a little. But of course I'm not a doctor so please take the advice of our dear Markku and go see a neurologist as soon as possible. Good luck matty!!

 

Thank you! But I don't think the Tinnitus is related to the drug usage--it happened when I was off of it during the midst of a panic attack. It could be a side effect though, nonetheless. I may even have TMJ from teeth clenching.. The list goes on..

 

Man, I've considered TRYING mdma to see how it affects T, scary if I can end up getting a new kind of T as well :s

 

@Matty, I had similar side-effects from molly after I attended a rave on new years eve a couple years back. Luckily, they seemed to stop about a week later. Hopefully things will calm down a bit for you.

 

I'm trying to remain calm but the T itself is making me anxious, paranoid, and panicky. I just get frustrated at my head constantly pulsing and the pressure I feel.

Don't.. It'll just worsen your anxiety and make you feel depressed, and may even cause memory lose like me.

It's lasted over a month though.. That's my biggest concern. It's like I'll never be myself again. I'm so frustrated.. It's like nothing I do helps.

 

That sucks, hope you're feeling better!

I don't understand how you were doing MDMA multiple times a week though, that's crazy! It's not usually a drug that people develop a habit of doing multiple times a week because the comedown is so exhausting - people usually try to spread their use out to keep the "magic" alive.

While MDMA can definitely be abused, it has no physically addictive properties and doesn't cause any sort of withdrawal symptoms. What most people will experience after doing MDMA/ecstasy is called a comedown, basically MDMA releases a bunch of serotonin in the brain in a short amount of time, and then the body has to recover from that experience, this usually takes a week or two. But, what can also happen is that if you do a crazy amount of it or mix it with another drug that messes with serotonin, you can go into what is called serotonin syndrome (Serotonin syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)- this is pretty serious but it's rare. It might also be possible that you could have been duped with a research chemical, that's why it's pretty important to have a testing kit handy if you're going to dabble with stuff like MDMA.

I think you're just in a HUGE comedown from doing so much MDMA - you've depleted A LOT of your serotonin from doing so much MDMA in a short amount of time. The good news is that you will recover! Get some 5-HTP and/or L-Tryptophan, vitamin C, eat a lot even if you don't feel like it, get plenty of sleep and exercise - these are all going to help increase the serotonin in your brain and help you feel normal again, 5-HTP works wonders for me.

Personally, I'm a big fan of MDMA. If you can obtain clean product and treat it with respect, it is much safer than drinking, smoking and prescribed medicines IMO. The problem is that it's deemed illegal and it's been left in the hands of greedy, dishonest dealers who will often try to pass off dangerous research chemicals off as MDMA/ecstasy to make a quick buck and that's where things get messy.

They're actually studying it's therapeutic effects on people experiencing PTSD and a bunch of other psychological conditions. It was also used in couples therapy when it was first invented. I know for me, that it's helped me deal with a bunch of negative stuff in my life in a completely new way and helped me connect with people close to me on a level I never thought possible. I actually wonder, if used in a therapeutic setting, whether or not MDMA could possibly help with the habituation process. So far, I've done it bunch of times since getting tinnitus and have not experienced any increases from it, I actually get a reduction in my tinnitus for a week or two after using it but it returns to normal after that.

Anyway, I could ramble on for ages about this stuff. You will get better OP, go see an ENT to rule out any other causes, get a bunch of vitamins in you (5-HTP, trust me) and stay healthy! Hopefully your PT will subside as your brain recovers.

 

Thanks for your advice Karen, I really appreciate it. I'm learning to deal with it--the worst part was my anxiety making it leagues worse. But I think I know what could be causing it. My ear keeps having "javing paints" and my jaw keeps hurting. Could I have TMJ? Could that be the problem? I noticed my jaw was acting up during the midst of recent anxiety attacks and it's been bothering me lately. Could my jaw have gotten out of line?

I definitely overdid it, and I don't know what it was I was really taking.. I tested positive for Methamphetamine.. and I wasn't even taking Meth. It was "MDMA" or Molly. (See above). My jaw has been hurting me.. and I used to clench a lot. My ears have been ringing and hurting more than ever, could I have developed TMJ? Could my jaw need a realignment? Maybe that's the problem..

 

I saw a chiropractor today.. He did some alignments and readjustments with my neck and back and told me I'm really tense.. My headaches are still there. My jaw pain isn't leaving. My pulsating and throbbing is worse than ever.. I'm miserable. I'm in so much pain and I'm more distracted than ever by it. I can't live like this.. and I don't know what to do! I can barely go to work without panicking thinking they think I'm on something. It's been over 5 weeks. I don't get it.. I don't know what to do anymore.. I'm helpless.

 

Thanks.. he's done a lot, a lot of alignments and neck massages. He keeps saying I'm very tense. I can't say if I can tell I've noticed a "HUGE" improvement, but my neck, back, and jaw feels a lot better. I went to a neurodentist today and he gave me a mouth guard to wear "as much as possible" for a few days and I am supposed to report back to him on Monday because he notices a big jaw gap and doesn't know if surgery would be the best bet before seeing an ENT and Neurologist.

It's hard while waiting for insurance to kick in.. I'd have to pay out of pocket to see an ENT or Neuro and that not exactly easy for me right now.

 

An update: I'm feeling a lot better. The ringing is almost gone, I'm just dealing with mild head pressure now and some short term memory "fogginess". I'm really thinking it was stress and anxiety related. The chiropractor and back adjustments are helping me quite a bit! Xanax has also calmed me and my anxiety. The only thing I need to do now is deal with the mild throbbing in my head. I'm still going to see an ENT and a neurologist in time. I'll keep you all posted! Let's hope for this pressure to go away before I have another panic attack..

 

I barely hear any noise.. It's more of a throbbing in my head, I hear a light "dinging" but it's barely noticeable.. I think it's more of a head throbbing than Tinnitus. Because Tinnitus is load and noticeable correct? The head throbbing even has me nervous while driving.. as it affects me pressing my foot on the break. I get scared and nervous I won't break at times. I'm learning to definitely deal with it though! I'm able to start living my life as before.

Karen, you've been such a blessing and uplifter here! I'm so glad you were able to share your advice and experience. Have you heard of anything that can help me with my pulsating besides anxiety and anti-inflammation meds? Will keep you all updated!

Matty

 

An update:

Merry Christmas everyone! I found out that TMJ was most likely the cause of my Pulsating Tinnitus, and a neurodentist is willing to do surgery to fix it. This makes sense because all my symptoms are a result of TMJ and my jaw has been in aching pain. I'm on antidepressants and my anxiety has almost completely diminished. I'm excited that I know the cause.. and can't wait to get the surgery done! I turn 23 in February and I'm hoping to get the surgery before my birthday.

Cheers.

 

Merry Christmas matty! Great news, please keep us updated after the surgery! Good luck for the surgery and hopefully talk to you soon.

 

Happy New Years everyone.

I had an MRI done of my brain and they found a penial gland mass (14.5 cm) in my brain.. And I'm going to see a neurologist. They think that could be the cause of the symptoms and headaches.. I'm scared and hope I can be strong and get through this. I'm in so much pain. It wasn't TMJ or drug use after all.. The anxiety must have triggered something.

 

Hi @Matty I will be thinking of you and praying. All the best.

 

I will hold my thumbs for you!

 

Hey everyone,

It seems finding a neurosurgeon to operate on this cyst has been quite a journey. Five months later I'm still dealing with the constant headaches and pressure.. And neurosurgeons won't operate on the cyst and remove it, saying it's not causing my symptoms. It's a painful journey, but I'm living.. I've met people online on other sites nationwide with the same cyst and symptoms as me, some who've had the cyst removed with their tinnitus and pressure gone.. Hopefully I'll get there one day. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I just turned 23 and I'm giving it all I've got to get better!