Why Are People Such *Insert Swear Word Here*

Discussion in 'Support' started by geg1992, Oct 18, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      went out with my friends last night, trying to have a good night despite this T. Went into a club with ear plugs in and several people laughed at me, some people even tried to take them out and started touching them. It really made me feel like crap. I miss being able to go out properly and have fun. :( I'll never meet people with ear plugs in.

      Sorry, stupid I know but needed a rant. I just don't get why people have no understanding about people's problems.
       
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    2. Mayo
      Amazed

      Mayo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      17 September 2015
      Thats cause those douches never had Tinnitus. To them, it probably seems humorous, but ignore them. Your ears are worth more than your friends. They should consider themselves lucky that they don't have T.

      If they keep poking fun at your earplugs, then you need to keep your distance away from them. Again, your ears are far more important than them. Or just scrap going to clubs altogether for a while.
       
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    3. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      Sorry I think I phrased it wrong. Luckily my friends are all extremely understanding of my T, it was just other morons who I don't know. I was just testing if clubbing is still a possibility with ear plugs really, I think I'll stick to pubs :) most people I seem to meet clubbing are all morons anyway hahaha. Interestingly I did see another person with plugs in, perhaps they had T too.
       
    4. walkthroughwalls

      walkthroughwalls Member

      Location:
      The Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      possibly noise
      A lot of people seem to think it's necessary to make fun of everything and anything that's simply different. I guess it strengthens their feelings of self-worth and status among their friends, or something. Of course, looking at the big picture, with everyone involved, it makes no sense on an ethical level, but some people don't seem to get that far...

      All you can do is (appear to) be confident and let them know when they're going too far the moment someone makes an attempt. Also, were you wearing those yellow foam plugs? Did you happen to know that these shouldn't be sticking out of ones ears? That how they properly protect, are less visible and someone else can't easily touch them.

      How's your T, by the way? :)
       
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    5. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      You can always have musicians plugs made, they are very discreet, almost invisible (at least the once I had made here in oz)!
      Regardless of what others say never forget to protect your ears!
       
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    6. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      That's very true! It's always those people who look very up themselves and think they're better than everyone who takes the mick. I didn't show that it got to me, I just got on with it! I usually wear ear plugs but that's the first time someone has questioned them/laughed at me.

      I was wearing "Hearos Xtreme Protection" as they seem to be the highest decibel reducing plugs I could find, and they work very well! They're light blue so stand out quite a lot. They're quite long so there's not really anyway for them not to be sticking out of my ear to be honest.

      It's not too bad actually, it has been bad since my holiday to Tokyo, but after last night's exposure to sound, it seems to have got quieter?! I'm worried I may have done damage in Tokyo as I rarely protected my ears, even on the metro (it's quieter there), but that's my fault so I can't complain. Thanks for asking. :)

      How's your T?
       
    7. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      Thanks! Yes of course, I will always protect my ears. :) Am I right in thinking the musician ones only block out approx 20-25db? They would be good for a lot of situations but I think clubbing they may not protect quite enough.
       
    8. I who love music
      Cheerful

      I who love music Member

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      mid seventies
      Good for you and your earplugs!!!!!!!
      The tribe doesn't want you to be different by having earplugs. If you're unlike the others in the tribe you may get the inclination to leave the tribe, thus weakening the tribe. Remember, we're modern men in caveman bodies.
       
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    9. Sailboardman
      Frustrated

      Sailboardman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sensorineural hearing loss right ear.
      @geg1992 ,

      Don't feel bad, if those assholes keep clubbing without plugs, they'll know sooner or later what T suffering is all about! Then you can laugh and taunt them about it.
      };-)
       
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    10. Blackbird26

      Blackbird26 Member

      I hqd an ex that made me take mine out in a very loud and busy place. Sometimes people are just ....s.

      What is more interesting is he also suffers terrible t and had h...

      I don't know..But don't follow the herd..You did well, your life, your ears.
       
    11. wishingluck
      No Mood

      wishingluck Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not sure, but probably acoustic trauma
      There is nothing stupid. Unfortunately there's lots of c***s around. I should not say this, but this bullying is a major reason why some people flip out and go kill people at random. The US school shootouts have a lot to do with bullying. You hear lots of goody-goody talk like 'ignore them', 'don't worry', etc but the reality is, you have to learn to deal with people like these. Never respond disproportionately to some idiots, i.e. if someone says something stupid, you don't run them over with your car. If someone laughs at you, you laugh at them. If someone touches you, warn them ONCE, then hit them.

      I promise, you will see people messing less and less with you. I too, like you, have always been the guy who tries to avoid conflict, and the reality is, most of us don't do it because of fear. In my case, some people found out at their expense, and I tell you, I will NEVER regret it, I only regret the times I did nothing.

      Take up martial arts or boxing, learn to defend yourself, learn to talk back at people. Don't keep it inside. Learn about laws, know what you can do and what you can't. Don't break any laws, ever. Do not ever hit someone without warning, unless you are being attacked (and someone who touches you to insult you, can easily be classed as that). But don't let anyone mess with you. People do it in many different ways: with put downs, etc. Always respect everyone, but if someone messes with you, give them a piece of your mind. It doesn't matter if they are men, women, children, old people.

      The reason why I say all this is, I too believed that 'forgive and forget' was good advice, but it never worked for me. I never forget anything, be it good or bad.

      Learn to respond appropriately. In the book by psychologist Paul Hauck , 'How to stand up for yourself' (a book that I recommend, it costs peanuts on Amazon), the author states: 'If someone touches you, fight like a wildcat'.
      This author is telling the truth. Be wary of advice like 'ignore them', what will happen is that all these negative experiences with haunt you later. You don't deserve that. You have the right to do and say as you please, for the simple reason that you aren't limiting anybody's freedom in any ways. So if someone messes with YOUR freedom and self respect, show them what you are made of! But don't do anything disproportionate, always use your brains and your knowledge. Emotions can be very dangerous. Good luck.
       
    12. wishingluck
      No Mood

      wishingluck Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not sure, but probably acoustic trauma
      Oh, another piece of advice: NEVER talk back at the police, and NEVER be hostile to them. EVER. If you think the police acted wrongly, let them do their thing and challenge them later in writing. Remember, always use your intellect and your knowledge, not your emotions in the heat of the moment. Never resist arrest, you'll be sorry. But to everybody else, don't worry so much about consequences. No one is going to put you on death row for talking back to some idiots, or for hitting them if, after one warning, they didn't stop touching you or your property, whether it's your car or your earplugs, it doesn't matter.

      Tell them what you think. Give them a good yelling. It doesn't matter who they are, unless again it's the police. I promise, idiots will think twice again before messing with you. I am like you, a good guy, I try to keep out of trouble. But in all these years, these strategies always, always worked.

      What these people look for, are exactly people who 'try to ignore them'. This never works. Even if it does, they will do it out of mercy, and they will never respect you.

      Some more good books, other than the ones by Paul Hauck:

      'Meet the Shadow' (a psychology book by Connie Zweig)

      'Games People Play' (Eric Berne)



      'The Lucifer Effect'', by renowed psychologist Philip Zimbardo....in this book you'll learn why people in GROUPS, or people in public, such as a teacher in a class, will mess with you a lot more than if you are alone with another person. The reality is, these people never do this stuff one on one. And if you speak to them one on one, you will see how they change their tune and they start acting all sweet.

      Moral of the story: you have to learn to deal with that stuff in a way that's effective and that doesn't get you thrown in a jail. You -definitely- don't want that. And if that's one possible consequence, walk out of the room. But unless there's a risk of jail, don't worry. Treat these people the way they deserve.
       
    13. wishingluck
      No Mood

      wishingluck Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not sure, but probably acoustic trauma
      from Eric Berne's website:

      to many others, the ideas presented within Games People Play provided a deeper understanding of their own social interactions as well as their motives in these transactions. One reader wrote:

      “Many times in my life, I was placed in social situations that left me feeling so depleted afterwards and I could not exactly grasp why this was happening. When I read Games People Play, I started to understand how many people play these games that end up making me feel used and hopeless. After a year or so, I also began realizing that I play some of these games myself… This is when I really decided to change my life. I began living with a new awareness of the behaviors of not only others but my own as well!”
       
    14. glynis-harbron
      Feminine

      glynis-harbron Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      England, Stoke-on-Trent
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      Boots do clear noise reduction ear plugs.
      I can remember doing a shrek impression with green ones in and also red foam ones but now stick to clear ones.
      Wear them with pride .....lots of love glynis
       
    15. walkthroughwalls

      walkthroughwalls Member

      Location:
      The Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      possibly noise
      Cool! :)
      I rarely get made fun of because of my earplugs, but maybe that's just this part of the world. Most people understand the entire hearing damage/tinnitus-situation, whether they wear plugs or not.

      I'd wear those type of plugs too, if I'd be going to clubs or anywhere really loud. The musician's plugs aren't dampening enough. I just looked up a photo and they're very blue indeed... Just rock 'em like they're fashion accessories ;)

      Are you sure you're using them like this, though? http://www.hearos.com/index/instructions
      They shouldn't stick out too much.

      You seem to be doing alright, congratulations! :) I bet Tokyo must've been amazing... I hope to go there too one day.

      My T has gotten louder since nine days after I drank some coffee and stayed up late to finish a statistics homework set :rolleyes: It usually goes down after a day, but this time it didn't and I can't really link it to anything. I did start playing arco double bass regularly, but that isn't too loud. Maybe it's related to my aching neck muscles, I'm not sure. I'm trying to adjust and pick things up again after a not-so-productive week.
      Thanks :)
       

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