Will I Survive This?

Hi guys,

I'm really at my wits end. Just started on sertraline and a benzo cause I couldn't manage lifting myself up and having real bad anxiety. Only now I am worrying about the eventual ototoxic side effect of sertraline..

And although things look really dark right now, will I survive and be happy again?

I feel so desperate and lost... Also feels like failing. Why can't I do this myself while others who also have tinnitus can just live with it..

 

You have just had it for a month or little more. If you would feel good now you would have written history in being the fastest habituated person ever. It takes time, several months...then things start to get better. You need to have patience and work down your anxiety and stress level! When i was 2 weeks in my T i was in the darkest fucking place imaginable. Now im here and feeling good. I have my bad days sometimes, but for the most part im doing good.

 

Tinnitus comes with unwanted emotions and with the sound and lack of sleep you can have a bit of a wobble adjusting.
Tinnitus comes from the limbic part of the brain where our emotions come from also so it's easy to see how in the beginning we might need help with medication.
Your not a failure at all so never think that and you will get round the clock support on here and we totally understand.
Love glynis x

 

@Raphael7713 How long did it take you to feel better?

@glynis Thanks for your support. Are you habituatued?

 

I got a grip of my situation at approx 4-5 months. Even that s quite little..you will always improve even if u feel like ur already habituated. Your brain needs time to adjsut to the new reality.

 

This is not the end for you.

I cant comment on sertraline, but i know of ppl on this forum who take mirtazepine without it exacerbating their t. Maybe you could consider this.

Glynis uses nortryptiline; and has noted that it has resolved her central head noise. Maybe, she can comment further.

Anxiety can be disabling. I suffer with anxiety and ocd, so i sympathise.

You will do more than just survive. You will, over time, learn to adapt. Your t might even resolve as it is early days.

Im coming up to 4 years this nov with my t onset. Ive taken a while to adapt (in stages). My pre existing issues with anxiety have been an obstacle to my habituation.

What helped me?

. Distraction
. Sleep
. Stress less
. Sound therapy
. Talking therapy espec mindfulness cbt

Weve all been where you are at now. It is a really difficult time because you cant see beyond your t right now.

Everyone is different. Dont compare the rate at which you adapt to others. Your brain is capable of ignoring t. Let the passage of time, and the support of those here who know what you are going through, see you through to better days. The sun will shine again.

i find the back to silence thread on this forum interesting. Have you watched the video?

 

@DebInAustralia Thanks. Thats the thing I need to be/want to be guaranteed of: that I will be able to ignore it and noy have to hear it all of my life..

 

Yes you will. The thing is, the more you worry about it, the harder it gets.

 

well you will hear it in quiet rooms for sure...the key is adapting your lifestyle to limit those silent places...an example is when i am gaming in my basement i put the fan on (the lowest setting) or i put my music on. I like to keep some kind of noise on the whole time. I may hear the T but it always faint, luckily when playing music i dont hear it (this wasnt the case in the beginning). When i am at work (in an quiet office) i put on the sound of ocean waves from youtube. I can still hear my T but like I said it is faint. When i start focusing on my work I dont even notice it.

 

Hi guys,
Me again. So, I have come to the point where I wanna be accepting T for what is it and just move on see it getting better in the future. But now my hardest problem: how do I get rid of my anxiety? It feels like its not about T anymore but about the immense spiral of anxiety i wounded up in. Its so sad that you want something in your head and the same head works against it..

 

Habituation will take time, it took me 8-9 months for it to happen...my T is unmaskable but my mind ignores it just as our minds ignores external stimuli all around us every day...

 

Everything depends on T's volume and pitch. Your combination must be more difficult to live with than the combination those other people had ended up with. The good news is that if you give it time (months), your T will likely fade and its pitch might change so that it is easier to ignore.

 

You will learn to ignore it.

I never thought it was possible, but i am living proof that there is a wonderful life to be had beyond t.

 

Hi Tinizzy. The anxiety is the hard part and it's something that is recurring for me too. I am by nature a very anxious person not just about the T. But specifically to my T I've had some bad episodes. Some days I can just listen to my T and be "Oh it's there like always" and the very same day later I can get a huge anxiety attack thinking "Omg I really have T and it's never going to go away, I can't live with this".
The good news though is that it does get better over time. Everything in your whole being is getting alarmed by this intrusive sound right now. It sounds impossible, but just try to stay as relaxed as you can be, distract yourself and most important of all, try to get some good sleep. Take it day by day and do not worry about the next.
What I found helpful was taking long walks at the seaside, the sound of the ocean and the wind even soothed my T a bit and I found I could fall asleep better at the end of the day despite of the T. In time you will see you react differently to you T and the anxiety will leave your body too. What I found helpful was knowing I'm not the only one going through this and reading the success stories on this forum helped me a lot.

 

@Tinizzy
You will get there!
I far from habituated, but slowly improving. My tinnitus is mild to moderate, so it is maskable and I don't let myself hear it.
my dad has tinnitus, it's loud enough to be heard over most every day sounds (according to him).
He could not care less about it, he wouldn't even bother seeking a cure if one was availabe. He is fully habituated, it's amazing how little
he cares about it.

 

Stress and anxiety is the greatest enemy. I can guarantee you if you remove stress/anxiety completely from your system (I know it's not simple) you wont give a rats ass about your T.

 

That is almost the definition of anxiety. Your mind working against you. As others are said, it will be difficult. You have to realize that it is just a noise (a extremely annoying and intrusive noise, but just a noise). And, it cannot hurt you.

Do you ever find yourself not noticing your tinnitus for brief periods of time? I am going to guess that the answer is yes to that question (as it is for many here). If that is the case for you, it is a great indicator that you can learn to habituate. Habituation is basically learning to ignore it, at least enough to not let it bother you, and that is really what you are searching for; to not be bothered by tinnitus any more. It they symptoms vanish or you can just "tune them out", either way, you win.

We all do at times. Practically everyone on this forum has felt (or still feels) like that at one time or another. I certainly do and you would think after a lifetime of tinnitus I wouldn't any more. It is normal. Tinnitus is difficult to deal with on its own, and we know that life seldom throws only one problem at you at a time. We are constantly juggling multiple problems of our own, and also trying to help those we care about with their problems (ofter with their problems taking precedence over our own). There is nothing wrong with seeking help; everyone on this forum joined because they needed help. They may have wanted advice, a virtual shoulder to cry on, someone who understands when their friends and family cannot, someone to just listen, reassurance that it will all be ok, and/or many other reasons.

Everyone needs help sometimes, it is not a failure to need help, it is human.

I will reiterate what the wonderful @glynis stated earlier: We are here for you. This community, as you know, is filled with caring, compassionate, sympathetic people who truly understand what you are going through, and have seeming limitless generosity when it comes to providing support and comfort to fellow tinnitus sufferers. You don't have to do this alone. We are here and will help you when you need us.

Hang in there, it will get better and you will get through this.