Wow, I Can't Believe How Dumb I Am

This is continued over from the chat box…

For some reason I thought it was safe to walk around on the (metro) street. There was a time where my T went down so low that I could barely notice it. I've been wondering why I hadn't gotten back to that point in a while. But then it occurred to me after a particularly noisy wait at the bus stop that going outside and walking around (I don't live in the suburbs) must have been making it worse. Posting this because it is an upsetting revelation. It should have been obvious. While I am not in the city proper, I do live in a busy area and the sidewalks are very close to the actual traffic. It sort of clicked when I thought back to all the times I've tried to talk on the phone but had difficulty hearing the person on the other line.

I wish I had figured this out sooner. It's awful feeling that one has possibly compromised their chances of full recovery from such a stupid decision. (Multiple decisions, honestly. Because I go outside for 5-30 minutes almost daily) Part of the problem for me is that I still can't figure out earplugs and how to wear them. I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. I follow the directions and have watched hopeful videos on YouTube but they can never fit in my ears all the way. (foam) I just bought some silicone ones so hopefully I can actually figure these out.

My T is still manageable at this point. I wish it could be quieter but I could perceive myself adapting to the current volume. But "manageable" isn't exactly a reassuring word. I have to "manage" my pain (another thing I have thanks to being dumb). "Manageable" may as well be another word for depression. "Manageable" is supposed to be something akin to "count your blessings" but ends up being a nostalgic daydream of life as it was meant to be. Counting blessings doesn't actually make me feel better, it just makes me feel like a shell of a person. I could better cope with it if I was just unlucky. If it was just something that happened to me. But it's my fault. All my misery is my fault. When it's my fault it means it's always been me that is the problem. I am just naturally a defective person. As a faceless entity, I'm sure most people could say that I deserve my pain. In the end, it's not about that I've continued to walk down busy streets without ear protection like an idiot, it's that I can't stop making stupid decisions.

I'm not looking for anything with this post. Just wanted some place to put this.

 

For the first month after I got T, I was the same way. I continued doing the things I used to do before my acoustic trauma (e.g., using the vacuum cleaner, the blender, etc). It hasn't occurred to me that those things might be interfering with my healing. The good news is that my T had began to improve within weeks of me adopting a policy of protecting my ears. (A lot of that progress got undone as a result of a second acoustic trauma [pressed a loud phone to my bad ear] but that is another story.)

 

Don't beat yourself up over it so much. Everyone makes these mistakes. I know i did. I started out with very mild T but its gotten worse through some mistakes (dentist, ototoxic eye steroids which should have been fine). Just make sure you find out the things that make it worse for you and try and take precautions for that. I sometimes use construction headphones in very loud stores, and everyone thinks i am just having headphones on that are playing music. lol.

Just be careful going forward with some things that some people are not aware of that can cause hearing loss.

1: ) Ototoxic medications - there are so many medications that can cause hearing loss. Make sure before taking anything to check with your doctor, your pharmacist and check the internet yourself. If you think you have any reaction you should probably stop and talk to your doctor (don't take this in lieu of actual medical advice please).
2: ) Airplanes - make sure you get some great protection when flying (i have Peltor x5 headphones). Planes can get very loud, especially behind the engines. So try and sit in front of them.
3: ) Dentists - And especially dentist cleanings with their power tool. Very bad for your ears and it cause a large amount of damage for me. Always have it done manually. Also, have the dentist drill in small increments and use headphones.
4: ) Ear cleanings - The ENT uses a suction device to sometimes clean the wax from your ear. DO NOT let them. Have them do it again manually.

I wish you all the best.

 

Foam ear plugs did not work well for me either. I'm hoping that you're satisfied with the silicone ones you recently bought. However, if you're not, you can check out other types at the Ear Plug Superstore. They have quite a selection there. Hopefully you'll find something that's just right for you:

http://www.earplugstore.com/?utm_ term=the ear plug superstore&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=*EPSS Branded: Search - JF&utm_term=the ear plug superstore&utm_content=Ear Plug Store

 

I suggest custom fitted earplugs. I have a pair and I love them! Carry them in my purse and wear them whenever I'm in a noisy environment. They're clear so nobody knows when I have them in!

 

Actually, you're commendable choice of profile picture means you've just qualified for our compassionate support.

If you're done growling, why don't you follow the advice to get custom made ear plugs and protect your hearing in a diligent fashion from here on.