I've had it for 3 years (loud hissing in right ear, loud ringing in left). In the first year I felt suicidal. Ever get those nights where you were hopeful to not awake from your sleep? I was like that every day for a year. Sometimes I'd hit myself, pull chunks of my hair out and curse at god for doing this to me.
And then one day I got sick of being tinnitus' bitch. I remembered from my Psychology class 5 years ago that there was this treatment to treat phobia. I think it was called something-conditioning? Say you had a fear of dark rooms, the doctor would put you in a dark room and let you shit yourself to get all that fear out of your system. There were no small steps towards getting to the dark room stage, you were just put in there.
Anyway, continuing on, I decided to make tinnitus my bitch. I'd been afraid of it ever since it first started. Always dodging silence, dreading sleep, and panicking whenever I could hear it. So I devised a plan; for a couple of hours each day I'd sit in a quiet room, no music/tv etc and do nothing except listen to my tinnitus and feel sorry for myself. On the fourth day when I went back into the room, the feeling of dread and anxiety had disappeared. All I felt was calm.
I discovered later that week that actively listening to my tinnitus helps me sleep. It helps me drown out the usual bad stuff that keeps people up.
Also, I kinda make music with my tinnitus. When I clamp down on the right side of my jaw, the hissing in my right gets quieter but higher in pitch. When I clamp on the left side of my jaw, the ringing gets quieter and turns into a screech. It can be quite fun when you're not afraid
Oh and one last thing just for my curiosity: say you became totally deaf in both ears, would you still be able to hear your tinnitus? I was looking into having my auditory nerves cut to kill the tinnitus (reminder that I was at my lowest in the first year of having T ._. ) I can't believe I even thought about it to be honest
Anyways, thanks reading my post. I hope I can meet some "soothers" like me or even inspire someone to try it out
