A Friend Trying to Understand

This is not so much a success story but something beautiful that happened to me, and I was not sure where else to post this. I know that many of us struggle to have people understand what we experience and to be supported by the people we care about. This is an example of getting just that.

Something wonderful happened to me a couple days ago. A dear friend (whom I have mentioned in a number of my posts), being the sweet, wonderful, caring person she is, did a little googling to try to understand what I hear due to my tinnitus. This was not in reaction to anything in particular, she just wanted to understand. She found something on youtube that played various sounds associated with tinnitus.

She originally unplugged my headphones (we use a splitter to listen to music together) when she embarked on this search. I plugged mine back in as I had never searched for what I hear. There are some far worse sounds that a tinnitus suffer can hear that I am grateful I do not experience.

I unplugged her headphones and, after some searching and experimenting, I found the following four sounds, from two separate websites, combined, playing simultaneously, are a reasonable approximation to what I, personally, experience.

From https://www.soundrelief.com/tinnitus/sounds-tinnitus/
#3, Tea Kettle

From http://www.szynalski.com/tone-generator/
~ 3,951.066 Hz B7
~ 7,458.620 Hz A#8
~ 7,902.133 Hz B8


I set the volume to zero, started the sounds and told her to slowly increase the volume as I did not want to hurt her ears or possibly traumatize her with the experience. She got the volume up to about half of what I hear it at and stopped. I am touched that she wanted to understand what I am going through, but I was greatly saddened by the expression of despair on her face when she realized that I live with this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (I even hear it when I dream). I think that tears were starting to form in her eyes when she truly understood what I experience. I wanted to cry, not because I live through this, but at the sadness caused to her when she understood what I have to live with.

It is wonderful to have someone care about you.

 

Hi again @Kolisar - This is so very touching and must surely have been a very poignant moment when she realized and understood what you were experiencing and suffering with on a daily basis. The deep emotional reactions felt by you and she are both sad but beautiful (the point at which she heard the sound which is tormenting you). To have someone who is special to you, one who truly wants to extend herself and understand what you are going through is, indeed, a gift to be treasured and very special. Take care and be well.

Barbara

 

Hi @Bobbie7 (Barbara). Yes, she is an absolutely wonderful person and friend. A true gift.