Crying, Crying and Crying...

Oh my god, I don't know what to do.

I really don't think I can do this any longer I am crying all the time, and I just feel done with the sound of my tinnitus, absolutely DONE, fed up, like I have hit a wall... my god, I don't know what to do, I really don't know, I am falling apart

I really don't think I will survive this. I feel it in my gut... I am not meant to survive this....

 

You have not had it long, it will get better.

 

But it does not always get better Lots of people here are evidence of that... people who have had tinnitus several years and are still suffering. I don't want to keep on suffering

 

By any chance, do your moods or your tinnitus vary with your cycle? I've noticed threads with other women saying it does for them. Keeping that in mind helps me to rationalize that it's not just my tinnitus but hormones, which helps me to stay calm.

 

Aww duck,
You will be fine so try to relax to music and maybe a nice bath as anxiety can start and low mood after coming off benzodiazepines .
Hormomes don't help too !
We are here for you so be reasured you will be ok .
Love glynis

 

@TheDanishGirl I feel for you. Those days are really tough for me either.

 

But I think that is not your t that makes you suffer, it is your thoughts about it.

Try to forget about it! (Yes, easy to say, I know)

 

Yes, my mood does get affected when its "that time a month", but it is not that time yet, so I dont think it is hormones. Either way I usually dont get as devastated when I have my period, as I am now.....this is just worse then ever

 

Thank you sweet Glynis. I am masking my T right now, it is the only thing that helps a little, and soon I will go to sleep.

 

Not possible, sorry.

Its like "dont think about a pink elephant", GO! (you thought of a pink elephant, right?)

 

I have spent some time on my hobbies today: knitting, painting/coloring and reading, but I still hear the T all the freaking time, and it is driving me insane

 

Is it possible to get some help from a specialist?

And you hear it because you listen to it. Did you hear the thicking of the clock? The sound of the refrigerator? No, because you are focussed on your hobby and your brain filters this kind of sounds.

It will get better!

 

I would suggest getting some hearing aids with maskers. It really helped me and I have been using them. I can even get rid of some of the perception of the noise by having the amplification on them. Get tested for hearing loss up to 12khz (you may have to call around to find out who can do that) and try out the Signia Primax 7px hearing aids or the Siemens Binax 7px. These aids are able to be programmed up to 12khz. The higher the range the better. This can help with the tinnitus if you don't have hyperacusis. Start with that first and if that doesn't work, look into things for depression like exercise, fish oil, etc. If the natural things don't seem to help then you can use medicine as a last resort. Sometimes medication can help take that uncontrollable crying away and there maybe be something either natural or prescription that could lower your tinnitus some.

 

I am already on a bunch of medicine for my anxiety and depression and aside from that I take vitamin B12 and Magnesium Citrate, but apparantly it does not help me very much.

My T is about 15.000 - 16.000 khz , so I dont think a masker that can only go up to 12 kHz is able to help me?

I will however look into some hearing aids with maskers, maybe one of them can help me, I really hope so!

 

I have counselling with an audiologist, but it does not help me, only leaves me frustrated, because she thinks T is all perception and all she says is listen to low level sounds/music, and try to relax, which does not make me feel better at all.

 

Actually, yes I do.....at least a lot of the time.

I dont know what is wrong with me. I am wondering if it is possible to have a brain filter not working, mine does not seem to work

 

hi sandra don't worry you will habituate living in the hell

 

I totally understand. Have you tried Lithium Orotate? They sell it in various nutritional supplement stores and a prescription is not needed. I remember @Cal18 told me that she took that and it got her out of having crying spells. Although she said she only needed half a tablet (out of 4.6mg lithium) a day I think. If you try it, get the tablet form so you can break it in half.

 

Keep strong Sandra... It took me around 1 year to made peace with my T.

I was right there, where you are now.

Remember to come to TT to take the BEST of this forum. We have alot of T fellows who can't handle Tinnitus at the time, some of them have YEARS fighting against T, but you have to remember that everyone is different, and that people that struggle for so many years are the minority.

Most of us do get to habituation, as I think you will, nurture your mind with wellness and success stories. Made the peace with your present, with your future, and things will start to settle down... I promise.

The best for you,

 

Hi @TheDanishGirl ,
Hearing aids could help you and know just how bad tinnitus can get and at that point meds like benzos or aids are needed.
Well done for enjoying your hobbies and try keep it up and lots of pampering yourself and girlie shopping can give you a lift when you need cheering up
..love glynis

 

I promise you, you WILL survive this. You will at least habituate! All the best luck in this world!

 

Crying is good. If you feel like you have to cry, don't hold back. Let it out. Release your emotions. I'm sorry you're struggling so badly Do you think part of it could be because of the benzo withdrawal? Or is that no longer a problem? Benzo withdrawal can intensify these feelings. Even if it the benzo withdrawal is making it harder to cope, I know you mentioned how much these feelings tormented you before. Whatever happens, it will get easier once you've fully tapered off the medication. And it's good you're doing things to distract yourself. I try to do those indoor activities too, but they don't soothe the anxiety much either for me. Keep trying to distract yourself and eventually, even if you're not consciously trying to, you will be able to habituate to the sound. And once you habituate to it, it will be somewhat easier to cope because you'll no longer have to battle the intense feelings of anxiety and fear.

 

@TheDanishGirl, I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time.

Spending time doing things you enjoy will help. And, unfortunately, some do hear it all the time, regardless of what they are doing. And, it will seem like it is driving you insane. The relentless ringing is maddening. As one who always hears the ringing regardless of what I do, the best advice I can give is too to focus your thoughts on something else (I know, much easier said than done). Sometimes I have to force myself to think about things, like doing difficult mathematics in your head (personally, I convert data to and from base64). You could try translating text to and from foreign language. You also mentioned that you enjoy painting (I am learning to draw), perhaps, if you are unable to paint, perhaps you could look at things for detail and think about how you would be able to recreate that detail in your painting. These may seem silly, or a waste of time, but they have worked for me, perhaps they may work for you as well.

@butterfly75 is correct, crying is good. You certainly do not want to suppress that for too long, obviously if you are somewhere where it is inappropriate you may want to wait until you are at a better location. For me, it is usually during my commute as I am alone in the car and have about 30 minutes on one, fairly straight, highway with minimal traffic to contend with. Also, reach out to friends and.or family (if possible).

Can you get a new audiologist? While, technically, T is all perception (technically, everything we experience is "perception"), her attitude towards your tinnitus and your suffering is not helpful and it seems that she is neither acknowledging your suffering or alleviating it. In my opinion, your audiologist needs to not only deal with the sound(s) you are hearing but also help you with the emotional trauma you are experiencing as a result of your tinnitus. You need to find an audiologist that is willing to deal with the whole problem, and you as a whole person, meaning that she is willing to help you with not only the symptoms but the effects the symptoms are having on you.

@Bleep is correct, you will survive this.

Hang in there. I know you have had good days, you are just having some very bad ones right now, but the good days will return. It will get better.

 

This made me laugh for real hahaha.

Seriously, though, the human spirit is so resilient. It's both a good thing and a bad thing, I think.

 

I don't want to sound insensitive but didn't you say your tinnitus is mild?
If that's the case maybe you need to work more on emotional side of things.
You will definetly get better, it takes time but you will get there.

 

Unfortunately for many of us it's exactly like that, living hell!

 

So now my monthly "friend" has arrived, a few days earlier then expected.

Everything makes sense now......although I usually don't get this severely effected.

 

Not yet, but I will definitely try it after I have read to so many 5 star reviews on Amazon.

Can you recommend a Brand?

 

Thank you for your kinds words. They reassure and comfort me

 

I have been thinking if benzo withdraval is still effecting me, but it has been 5-6 weeks since I reduced my dosage and I would think that the withdraval symptoms would have subsided by now.