Doing Awful

So my tinnitus has taken another turn for the worse and now its loud and super high pitched in both ears.
These past 5 months have been the worse ever for me but now I feel like its getting extreme.

The past 4 days I can't sleep now at all which is a new one for me.

I look back and can't believe how I got to this point.
Ever since 2001 I've had tinnitus but it was never this bad before (started getting worse back in sept 2015)

My mum is very upset as shes always crying since there's nothing she can do to help me and she sees me visibly upset.

I know I make her upset when I talk about it but if I don't it's like im bottling it up and I feel like im going to explode.

I think about suicide alot now its just so fucked this problem we all have. I wish I had my old tinnitus back.

I really feel like theres no light at the end of the tunnel for me now. I really can't live with it at this level and I still havnt worked since when it first started getting back end of last year so Im just bumming around at home making no money and getting more stressed.

 

Dude, you're not alone in this. Many of us here have been in your shoes and/or still are. But many people here do find relief in time.

Have you met with any mental health professionals? Have you tried medication to help you sleep? How about anxiety or depression medication? Counseling? Relaxation technique training? These are all things you should investigate as they can provide at least some level of relief.

It would also help you greatly if you forced yourself to get up and get out of the house each day. If you can't find work then create your own job even if you don't make money at first. The important thing is that you get up and do something on a daily basis, something that distracts your thoughts from the tinnitus. Yes it will be hard at first. Very hard. But from personal experience I can tell you that in a couple weeks you should be feeling better and your stress should be lessened.

But whatever you do at least make it a point to seek help from the mental health sector. If you don't have insurance and/or can't afford treatment then find out what free counseling services your community provides. Don't deny yourself the chance at getting some relief from the distress you are experiencing.

Hang in there. We're here for you if you need us.