Don't know what to do

Hello everybody,
I really hate to say this, but I might be your new friend for a while. I'm Shay, I live in Israel, 21 years old. I've had a really difficult time lately. It all started with a trauma I experienced 3 monthes ago, followed by chronic headaches which led to CT and MRI that showed some irregularities inside my brain. Possibly multiple sclerosis, but I still haven't done all the tests. Throughout that period I've had some problems with my ears which were the least of my problems as you can understand from the above. I felt some fullness in my ear, I also had a strange feeling of air flowing through my ears as I breathed, but since it wasn't painful nor vexatious, I let it go. But then it hit me. As I was trying to pop my ears a few weeks ago, using the Valslava maneuver, I was possibly blowing too hard (also tried the maneuver with both my ears and nose shut, might be a problem). Again, no pain, but that same evening I first heard the ringing that won't leave me alone.

I feel like my life's ruined. I know that being stressed about it actually makes it worse, but I can't control it. I feel helpless, I've also had some suicidal thoughts because of it. I'm really, REALLY, anxious about it. and I can't see anything that's gonna raise me up.


Hope, anyone?

 

Hey Shay! Glad you joined us here at TT! You are going to find it to be a fantastic resource as you journey through tinnitus!! Since you T came on rather recently, and was trauma induced, there is a chance it will lessen over time, or better yet subside completely! HOPE!!

You are in the Danger Zone right now!! I call it "The Pit" and I know exactly what you are going through mentally/emotionally!! About 3-4 months into my battle with T, I was right where you are!! I felt this unimaginable hopelessness and despair (and up until getting T, I was a super positive, laid back surfer!!)! I too briefly entertained "bad thoughts", even ended up in the ER one night because I need to get somewhere "safe" So I get it Shay! It sucks!!

BUT, I know it's near impossible to even comprehend right now, there is HOPE!! Even if your T doesn't subside (like me!!), you can live a productive life of purpose!! This forum, TT, is full of people who has triumphed, and are here to help you do the same!! Stay connected and read many of the threads here. Lots of great info and a ton of support! You are NOT alone!!

Right now the most important thing for you to do is get stabilized!!! Whatever it takes (meds, therapy, exercise, etc...) you need to get emotionally and psychologically stabilized!! One you start to get control of you anxiety, and realize there is hope, then you can start making the choices and decisions you need to, to start slowly moving forward with your life and start claiming back territory taken by T!! I got out of The Pit and you can and will also!!! I am a year into this journey and while it's still there (sometimes really gnarly), I have habituated quite a bit and refuse to let this stupid ringing in my head control my life!

Shay, you WILL get though!!

I pray you find peace and relief soon!!!!

 

Hi Shay,

I am so sorry this has happened to you. The ringing is probably related to the trauma you suffered, though I am no doctor and can't say for certain. Hopefully because you were having other ear problems this one will disappear too. There is no reason not to hope.

I know it's hard - trust me, I know. I've only recently stopped freaking out - but you have to keep calm. There are links between anxiety and T, so relaxing is important. Try meditating if you can, or distracting yourself. If you are having problems sleeping try listening to music/relaxing noises during the night.

Have you spoken to your doctor about this? Have you had a hearing test?

 

Hi Shay, "Throughout that period I've had some problems with my ears" I would think this shows there is a correlation between possible ms = anxiety = Tinnitus. Let us know what the final results of the CT & MRI are.

We are very happy to have you as our new friend. You are among those who totally understand....

 

Hey everybody,
Thanks for your comments. I've had a tough time since I wrote here.

For a few days I was anxious like hell. I was thinking I wasn't gonna make it through. My family was also not very supportive, claiming (rightfully) that whatever happens I must go on and live my life instead of being depressed in my room. It was quite tough understanding that I'm probably not going to hear silence again. I couldn't really sleep, couldn't really function. I really believe that these were the most difficult weeks of my life.

After getting my positive hearing test results I became a little better. I somehow managed to calm myself, I was thinking - there is no real damage, yet. I tried to stay positive about recovery (still am) and meanwhile to accept the noise. As the days past I became more and more positive. Last week was lovely. I managed to sleep every night, sometimes continously for 7-8 hours. Everyday I woke up and heard that sound relatively loud, but it was ok. I didn't freak out and simply turned my attention to other thoughts, better ones. I even stayed in quite rooms and was totally fine with it. Sometimes (like now ) I really need to focus in order to find it, even in quite rooms.

I still believe my case is solvable. Each time I run outdoors I end up with a strange feeling of liquid in my left ear, and I also can hear pulses that usually turn off after a couple of minutes. I also feel pain in that ear everytime I blow my nose and furthermore, I feel frequent pressure inside my head where my sinuses suppose to be. I believe it is some kind of chronic sinusitis (well, hopefully not THAT chronic) that my lazy ENT (he really sucks) didn't check up. I have an appointment for another ENT soon.

I'm not sure if this is just a temporary relief, but I'm very thankful anyway.

Really wish you all the best, and hope a cure will be available soon.
Shay

 

Sounds like you have a great attitude about your situation. I hope you have a full recovery, if not you will handle it well.
Looking forward to hearing your progress.

 

Shay
You're right on track! I find it exceptional and inspirational how fast you are learning/habituating -- keep it up. Tackling the A and D are always a good thing; there's always a pay-off (takes T down).

GPs and ENTs are dead on this issue (no pill / no surgery = no money); get to an audiologist that specializes in dealing with T and stay on the track you are on.

Mark

 

Thank you.

My next ENT is a "Tinnitus specialist", who's the head of the tinnitus department in a major hospital here in Israel. If he can't cure the tinnitus, he can surely help me with my other ear problems. Maybe it'll cure the tinnitus as well.