Fluctuating Tone and Volume

Hello everyone

I have had tinnitus moderate to severe about 2 years now. When it all started it was unbearable. But after a while it subsided and got better to the point I thought it's getting better. It won't come back anymore. Oh boy was I wrong?

My tinnitus has been up and down since summer 2016. It all started w sleeping issued. Waking up too early ! Not being able to maintain sleep through the night. Insomnia. I never ever used to have that problem even w horrible T I found a way to sleep sound for 8-9 hours every night. But now it's all been taken away. I am planning for my wedding so it's has been very stressful. I know the reason for my T which is stress and anxiety. But somehow I don't know how to get it under control.

I have fluctuating T now that gets loud one minute in one year and another minute is low and back up another 30 minutes and goes another 2 hours. In my left ear I have a steady tone but I also get really high pick buzz that comes and goes. What bothers me the most is the T in my right ear. It's almost loud electrical sound that as I mentioned above is up and down the whole for the last 2 weeks now. If only I can pin point what bothers it. But I can't.

I have seen 3 ent so far w no answer. I am waiting for an MRI but I bet that will come back "normal" as well. I had the last ENT tell me it's a good thing that your T comes and goes cuz if it wasn't it would mean a lot more serious illness. But he doesn't really understand That it's not good for my sanity. I know there are a lot of people who suffer from a lot of terrible illnesses but I rather have an illness I know i am either going to live or die. I honestly don't know what to do. It's a guessing game.

Is it gonna go away ? Is it a spike ? Is it here to stay ? Is it going to get worse? Is if going to drive me to destroy myself? I am not a suicidal but honestly T has made me think about suicide in the last 2 years more than anything ever. Specially when it's bad.

Don't get me wrong I have had good days. Good weeks. Good months. But when it's bad. It's bad. When I get a break from it. I forget about all the bad things. Like it was never there. I become myself again for at least that 2 hours but when T comes back it's the sound of despair. T is btw me and my happiness clawing at my heart.

Sorry for this long post. I just don't have anyone else who will understand except all of people on here. The struggle is truly real for all of us.

 

I have to say mine tends to be more of a constant volume, only occaisionally goes quieter....but never going away fully. I did have a couple of occaisions over the christmas period where the actual "tone" of mine dropped....but at the same time, my actual hearing reduced with it too...only for a couple of seconds, then the tone returned to normal an hearing caame back.
but trying to get to sleep....like yourself, thats another matter. once it all goes quiet around you...all you can hear is this annoying tone/noise in your head....

 

@GregK9


It's just a roller coaster ride

You Never know what you're gonna get.

Is your noise induced?

Mine appreantly isn't. Blahhhhhh

 

yes, some days can have "louder" sessions than others, sometimes i hardly notice it at all. But find having background music, helps as it gives my muddled brain something else to tune in to, so rather than listen to internal things, it helps with music in background, even if its just a portable mp3 player and headset, with volume low, you dont have to go too loud, so you can still hear people talking to you....no you wont look silly...but if it helps then who cares about appearances!

 

it's maddening... scares me too. i had one night when one ear went silent. but it came back... the anxiety associated with it worsening is bad and mine is not noise induced either. just woke up with it one day.
maybe u can go to the doc to get something to help you sleep for now?