Hi Everyone. A Short Introduction.

Thanks for adding me to the group. I'll make this introduction short, cause if I tell you the whole story now I might as well write a book. It's been a long a very rocky road. I'm doing quite alright at the moment. For some reason I seem to have been able to cope with the tinnitus all these years. But it hasn't been easy, far from it.

I crashed on a motorcycle back in 1985. To make it short, it was basically as bad as it can get. Somehow and against all odds I managed to survive. But I had hit my head so hard that the skull was cracked, and in such a way that the hearing nerve on the left side had been almost severed.
Naturally I lost my hearing completely on that ear. Luckily I didn't get any brain damage. My eyesight got affected too, but not in any dramatic way.

I had so many injuries . I won't tire you with going through them all. It took me a few years to heal well enough to get back on my feet again. There were some results of that accident though, that I was going to have to carry with me for the rest of my life.
One of them is tinnitus.

There is a constant loud white noise/untuned radio/wooshing/tingling/cicada/electric steady beep kind of sound in my head, on the side of my deaf ear. Like I said, the nerve is damaged, and that's just what it feels like. Like a guitar cable that doesn't work, or something. All i get is noice, but no song. And it's on 24/7. It is never silent, and it doesn't get any better. There are no better days. But there are worse days. When I'm feeling weakened somehow, it's worse. When I have a slight cold, it's worse. Outside sound makes the tinnitus worse too. The sound of machines, of cars, of children screaming, subway trains etc etc. All sorts of louder sounds make it worse.

The doctors have diagnosed it as Tinnitus grade 5. In other words, the worst kind. I didn't think it could get any worse, but they switched my pain relief about a year ago, (I've got severe pain in my joints and hips etc) and the tinnitus got worse from the meds. Haha. ..wow. ... and me who thought that was it, that it couldn't get any louder.
Oh, this is turning into a long text. I better stop here.
But somehow, and with some good mental tools that I've picked up along way, I manage to live with this onslaught of foul sounds. And what choice to I have?

 

Hello @Raincrow! Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the forum! You are dealing with many issues and I admire your strength. I lost the hearing in my left ear and I also experience constant hissing and increased noise and discomfort when exposed to sound. I can commiserate with you on ear issues but I do not have other injuries to my body. You seem to be a very resilient person! I hope you can find comfort here on the forum.

 

Welcome to the forum. Your story reminds me of a young lady that I look up for strength during my worst days. Zoe Cartwright was young 15 went she turned completely deaf, both years. She lived in a silent world but not really. She said she couldn't hear anything outside sounds except her loud T 7/24. But like you, she decided to accept her condition and makes the best of life regardless of an endless scream 7/24. She said the choice was easy, because really what choice did she have? She said either acceptance or misery for life. So she chose the former. Against all odds, she made it to university and even made a short tinnitus film. She made the film 10 years after her T started, so she titled the firm 7.24.52.10 which means her T was loud for 7/24, 52 weeks a year and for 10 years at the time of the film. Amazingly, despite her complete deafness and constant loud T, she said when interviewed about her film that she actually loves her life and enjoys it. She considers T just a slice of her life. What a positive frame of mind! Here is a post I made about her in the Positivity Thread with link to her film:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-positivity-thread.3142/page-14#post-63303

 

Welcome Raincrow,
Glad you're now on the Forum,sounds like u have suffered greatly from the motorcycle accident, so much can change in an instant..
I suffered bad leg injuries from a motorcycle accident 40 years ago,bad times
But I was lucky and didn't hurt my head then, but last year I suffered a concussion and now have severe
T 24/7 ,along with the two creatures it creates (anxiety & depression).My Meds make it worse also.Check the Concussion lnduced T thread when u can,You will be helped here and will get better with all the positive energy
From the wonderful people on this Forum.Read on and get ready to feel better Raincrow!
Jett

 

@Raincrow I've never compared my tinnitus sound to a cicada but that is totally it!!

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad someone has directed you to the head injury specific forum because I can not relate to that at all. My neighbour was in a similar sounding accident and deals with issues in all systems as a result. So glad to hear you have stayed positive after all these years. Best of luck!