I Wish I Knew What Silence Was Like

I've had Tinnitus my whole life and I've never experienced silence.

 

If it makes you feel any better I've had it for 6 months and already forget what it's like

 

Don't we all.

 

I have not heard silence for over 11 years.

To me silence is when Im in bed and snuggled under my duvet and at peace with the world and feel happy for a lovely day....lots of love glynis

 

I think I'd rather be born with T then to know silence and then be taken away from it. You cannot really miss something you'd never known about. I don't try to say that you should be happy about your T that you've had for a lifetime, but it's what cause most T suffers most pain. That there is no silence where it used to be, and now it's just a ringing/buzzing/screeching in it's absence.

 

I think you kinda get over it

 

Couldn't agree more.

Similarly, becoming deaf or blind in adulthood is very different from being born deaf or blind.

 

I could totally see that.

 

I don't know why people make such a big deal about silence, I never sat in silence before T, always music or TV on, even if I was reading. My house is wired with TV"s and sound everywhere, I could care less about the silence, I want to be living, noise is part of life, silence is death to me. My friends are loud, I'm loud, going out is loud, driving my sports car is loud, the whole world is loud, that's just life, it never bothered me one bit.

I'm more concerned about my hearing, trying to hear every day things through and around my T and function like a normal human being is what's important to me, not sitting in the dead quiet, do people actually do that? It seems weird to me unless you work at a library or something, but even then, there is the sound of other people around.

I don't know what the big deal is, I would rather be out at a loud pub watching the game or out for dinner with friends or family than sitting in the quiet alone, it just sounds lame to me, even a little bit creepy, it's about what I do now that I have f//ked up ears, sit in the god damn quiet by myself a lot because I cant take the every day sounds, I hate it, I feel dead inside.

 

@Telis

just because somone never move their legs, doesnt mean they want to lose the ability to run

 

Because silence is beautiful, it's peaceful, it allows the mind to focus on creative endeavors. I've been trying for almost two years now to finish my novel, but the tinnitus really interferes. Is it the noise, or do the hyperactive neurons in and of themselves squash the creative process? I don't know, but it's very hard for someone like me who spent so much of my life writing imaginative prose, to now struggle to put together a paragraph.

In my early years, I lived in a remote valley in Virginia. My father owned 200 acres (no big deal in that part of the country), and I would walk up the dirt road to the very top, where I could overlook the rolling hills before me and the mountains in the distance. Often it was as quiet as quiet can be.

See, that's my bliss, to be alone with my thoughts and appreciate the world of nature around me. I've always been this way, always, just as you've always sought the excitement of loud venues and surrounding yourself with people. Taking away my silence has pretty much taken away the foundation of all my joy in life.

 

So narrow-minded of you. Silence is a bliss for a reason!

 

Silence was the most beautiful thing for me in life before.
I loved just sitting reading a book in complete silence, to sit out in nature and listen to the quite swooshing of the trees etc.

Not everyone is a like Telis, what you like other people might not like. No Idea why that is so hard to comprehend tbh.

Then again I always hated loud noises or loud people etc, I always prefered more quite settings.

 

O god. I have always appreciated silence more than most people. I just started getting loud severe and constant tinnitus and it has me worried. I'd almost rather have moderate hearing loss and silence than this level of noise for the rest of my life if I had the choice.

 

@Telis Different strokes for different folks. I love the silence, for instance, coming home after a long day---all I want to hear is silence. Before T, I also enjoyed being able to be out in nature and take in the quiet surroundings....T ruins that. In music, there are rests or periods of silence that are just as important as the music. Being able to share silence with someone you love is also something that brings peace and something I really enjoyed. There are lots of reasons to miss silence...those are only just a few off the top of my head.

 

Personally , hearing silence is again is not that important to me , I just need to get rid of the brain buzz.
Non- silence I am ok with .

 

I miss the days when I could meditate with complete silence

 

There's still a lot to enjoy though.

 

I'm with @Telis in that I liked it loud. Loud cars, loud parties, loud music etc. I just miss being able to relax with peace and quiet in bed, or enjoy every bit of the sounds of nature . If only T could be something soothing like that instead of a high pitched B****

 

That is not silence, those are nature sounds.

 

They are also a milion times harder to enjoy without silence in your head.

Silence to me was being able to enjoy quite sounds without someone screaming inside my own head.

But yeah, 100% silence is still something I miss.
Coming home just planting myself in the sofa in total silence.
Waking up in the morning in total silence just staying in bed.

 

I agree 100 percent.

I think people are getting silence and not hearing tinnitus confused here, there is a big difference. I mean if you all lived by the ocean (no T) would you go ape shit from the constant background sound of the ocean and birds? Would you be on a support forum for those who live waterfront? If so, yeah I don't get it, it's not normal, our brains are meant to constantly process sound, not silence.

All I am saying is that sitting in the dead quiet and experiencing silence is the least of my worries with T. Trying to concentrate/process and enjoy external sound (not silence) with my tinnitus screaming at me is the bigger issue for me personally.

I highly doubt that you all experienced, enjoyed or even heard silence all that much prior to T unless you lived in a deep dark cave somewhere or sat in a padded cell.

 

I think you're just far too literal in your interpretation of what "silence" is. We obviously don't mean living in an anechoic chamber!

 

Okay, I thought that we were literly talking about "silence" since that was the term that was being used here. My bad.

 

So many people who get tinnitus worry over "never being able to hear silence again!' and often say "oh, why did I take it for granted and not enjoy it at the time!' The truth is for those people, it wasn't a meaningful part of their life in the past, and so it doesn't have to be in the future. It only bothers them now because they can no longer have it.

 

You are wrong. There are many people who enjoy peace and quiet. Just because you're not one of them doesn't mean you need to be dismissive of those who have always preferred quiet surroundings. And I do mean quiet as a freakin' tomb kind of silence.

 

No reason to debate whether we lost our silence or peace and quiet. We all lost something when we got T. Mostly, our peace of mind and our ability to just drift away and ponder. You know that, "Where did I just go" moment?

Like sitting on a couch, reading a book with a cat purring away. It's not total silence, but it's peaceful and comfortable. Sitting on that same couch today, with the same book, and same cat purring away, with a dental drill, attempting to bore a hole into your skull, is neither peaceful or comfortable.

 

I had it and lost it when I blew my ears out. Yeah, it was nice, and I think I did appreciate it, but it's gone now. Can't get it back, so I don't think about it much anymore.

You can just fill in the blank with just about any unattainable experience:

I wish I knew what __________ was like.

Don't spend too much energy on it!

 

I spend lots of time sitting on a couch, reading a book with a cat purring away. I find it peaceful and comfortable. I spend a lot of time letting my mind wander. Often, the wandering mind finds the tinnitus, and I simply acknowledge it and then let myself wander further on...

I'm not going to kid you and say that I don't struggle with this, or that my life wouldn't be more peaceful and more comfortable without tinnitus -- but it would also be more peaceful and comfortable without my myofascial pain, without my tendencies towards ADHD and anxiety, or if I happened to have a few million in the bank. Perfection is impossible; equanimity is attainable for anyone. You have to break the cycles and stop judging, though.

 

Ha ha.. before we all had T we took silence for granted and didnt enjoy silence? .Who doesn't like silence?.

So, peace and silence was not meaningful to all the members here before we got T ?. That's funny and wrong. Although maybe I misunderstood what you said.