I Would Rather Be Happy Than Right

Discussion in 'Support' started by Michael Leigh, Nov 20, 2015.

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    1. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      I would rather be happy than right.

      Many years ago when I first got tinnitus, I was going through a difficult time like many newbies do. I read a newspaper article that helped to change my thinking and put me on the road to habituation. It mentioned 19 out of 20 medical conditions couldn’t be cured. At this moment, tinnitus is one of them.

      Many people with intrusive tinnitus experience anxiety, depression and low moods. With time they often improve and some with the help of medications eventually habituate and can be weened off meds. Others may experience spikes in their T, which can make them prone to mood swings. These people still manage to find a way through it with determination, character and inner strength.

      There are others that will accept nothing less than a complete cure and therefore, never be able to habituate to tinnitus even if they had the best treatment in the world. This is mentioned in the TRT (tinnitus retraining therapy) book, written by Professor Pawel Jastreboff and Jonathan Hazell, and I agree with them. My experience as a Tinnitus support contact, has involved talking to many people on the telephone and on tinnitus forums. Unfortunately, some people want to drag everyone else down with their pessimism.

      Just as there are positive thinking people that are prepared to try and make a life with their T, negative ones prefer to sit and do nothing. Moaning and groaning and feeling sorry for themselves because of their own weakness. Some blame the world and every health professional and medical organisation for their misfortune in life and that is the sobering truth, and it can be difficult for them to change.

      There are those reading this post that won’t like my comments and can't wait to jump on the keyboard to unleash their fury. Just before you do take time out and think. Ask yourself and be honest. What have you achieved with all your negative thinking? Absolutely nothing. Even if you are right it doesn’t make for a fulfilling life and it is possible with tinnitus. Perhaps it’s time to change your strategy to one of positivity.

      Michael

      PS: There is nothing wrong with being occasionally negative especially with a condtion such as tinnitus. However, everything must be kept in balance, and therefore one must try not to let negativity become all-consuming.
       
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    2. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      East Coast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1998
      I think that pretty much everyone works rather be happy than right, I know that's my priority.

      Cognitive hacking and tweaks to perceptual/emotional machinery are really helpful to me, and I guess to you and a lot of people with T. Do you think that simple disbelief in that idea is why this thread always provokes so much controversy, though?
       
    3. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Calgary
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Two most annoying people in the world: People that moan groan non stop (as you stated) and the other are people the PREACH positivity non stop, put labels on people, and try and bait suffering people into arguments over positive vs negative.

      Chill man, people vent a bit, especially when their lives get turned upside down, they aren't going to threaten your happy positive little world unless you let it. They won't "drag everyone else down with their pessimism" unless you make a big stink about it and let it. We do have control over ourselves, don't let the big bad negative boogy man scare you so much.
       
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    4. Nucleo

      Nucleo Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2011
      I think knowing also plays a big part in achieving meaningful relief. The ENT is right when he tells you he cannot do much about the ringing noise and there is nothing physically wrong with your ears that he can fix.

      Some people here seem to be deadlocked on the idea that they can't be happy as long as they have tinnitus. Too bad for them.
       
    5. dboy
      Jaded

      dboy Member Benefactor

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2007 & 8/2013
      Sometimes folks need to moan a bit, to let it out. If you want to be genuinely supportive, maybe you could let them. Learning to accepting that tinnitus is permanent can be very hard, and for many people is a process that takes time. Let's not make polarising statements like the above, that blame people for going through a hard time. You can never know the whole of somebody else's experience and what they have gone through.

      Edit: I agree that consistently negative thought patterns can be self defeating, and I am not suggesting these cannot be pointed out to people gently, in a supportive way.
       
    6. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      I have experienced many levels of tinnitus and have been on the brink of despair. It for this reason I understand what it’s like to be negative about tinnitus so well.

      My post is for people that are having a difficult time with their T who might feel they have lost their way. It’s an attempt to give hope and inspiration and to make one look withing themselves and to never give up, for we are stronger than we think, so push a little harder as victory may just be around the corner. Sometimes it’s all we need to put us back on track and to keep moving in the right direction.

      Michael
       
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