I'm Losing My Mind

I think I'm going crazy, this noise is too much, doctors don't want to believe me, one year and this high power transformer in my head, jets engine in my ears, but in my left ear some times I feel like big flute sound, plunging my ears and the sound goes on in my entire head, and very high pitched sounds like baby birds, reactive to every single thing and hyperacusis, I don't know what to do anymore, I have 2 kids and I love them too much, I feel so bad for them because they keep asking me dad what's going on with you, is not more fun, no more happy times like before, I just can't deal with this anymore.

 

All I can offer is an understanding how hard it is to be a parent while suffering with this condition.
I struggle every day and feel bad that I can't do things other mums can.
That off course leaves my children suffering in a way too.
It breaks my heart daily to see others enjoy traveling, socialising, relaxing, doing nothing....., everything I did before, as far as my life goes it's wasted.

 

I'm going through the same thing, you're not alone. But imagine being only 17 and getting this condition a few days before your birthday along with other health issues. My life is over and it hasn't even started yet. Im sorry you/we have to deal with this X

 

Thanks valeri for sharing this pain, DDD, is a shame 2017 no treatment NOTHING at all, and l don't believe because is a complicated condition, is all about money, ATA and BTA , all those company's claim help us is hypocrisy,they what kip us in the same limbo TRT, CBD, hearings aid , 4,5000 dollars, that's the business, imagine tomorrow someone find the cure what they gone to do, you can go to the pharmacy and get "the tinnitus pill" all this evil people going to hell,no more stilling from us suffering.

 

I had my first child at age 41. The next one arrived before I turned 43. That was about the same time my ears and brain went to hell. Ringing. Pulsating. Sensitivity. Ungodly pressure. And very substantial hearing loss. It's been about four years and the nightmare rages on. Surgery send hearing aids reduced some of it. On a good day, I'm 80 percent the man I used to be. On a good day. It's unfair. It sucks. And I wish I had answers to share, but I don't.

There are many of us in this terrible place.

 

Penate, im sorry you are going through this,
you are a great parent, having to face this and also having two kids.
i just wish there was some sorta relief for all of you (with louder t) and of course mild suffers too.
i know its very cliche to say but... hang on, lets just wait and hope for something sooner.

 

Hear your pain, am a mum of two young kids, angry about the effect it has on the family, the plans we had, what could have been...we need to raise awareness, more research needs funding on a massive scale.

 

On a more positive note read a post now on the BTA about someone who's had it for 25 years (screaming at him as he wrote the post and was aware of it again) and habituated, let's keep that in mind x

 

Sorry to hear your pain and suffering from T & H. Both of them together is surely hell. I have empathy for your suffering as I was once where you are. I had both of them too initially and tell me about reactive T & severe H. I thought it must be 'hell' on earth. How can anyone live with such unlivable condition. Yes, my ultra high pitch dog whistle T plus piercingly hurtful H turned me into a mess. I also had suffered PTSD before T after witnessing my son bled to death in my arm due to a freak accident. On top of that, I suffered from anxiety and panic disorder for decades prior to the sudden attack of T & H.

Naturally my already weakened nerve had no chance against these alien beasts, and relentless anxiety and panic attacks overwhelmed me daily from the moment my loud T shrill woke me up most mornings. Nothing helped and I survived on meds only to ease the sufferings. I thought no way I could survive all these sufferings. At the worst point of suffering I told myself I would donate my body for my loved ones but I thought I would never recover nor have good life again.

But never say never. Today I live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life and I wrote my success story like other recovered members do. I hope you won't give up. Hang in there. Don't give up hope. If reading my story or stories of others can help you, I include some of these below. Hope you will find something which can help you to dig out of the dark tunnel. Take good care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/living-a-happy-life-with-severe-tinnitus.15898/#post-187771

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/6-months-tinnitus-still-going-strong-but-so-am-i.3226/

 

Long time ago I said that ATA doesn't want to cure tinnitus, they've been long enough to prove us different.
At the time when trobalt thread was popular I personally asked ATA why aren't they interested to get in touch with Prof Moore who previously did some research on trobalt and tinnitus.
ATA basically said its not their job to contact him but it has to be the other way around.
Potential cure right under their nose but no, it's not in their job description to look into it further.
They only care about their jobs and donations!
Only a small amount of money raised will go to research which is usually some useless "can sleeping till 10am cure tinnitus" type of research!
If I was someone I would close them down!

 

Thanks everyone for all the support, this is unbelievable is nothing for this hell. Valeri yes I'm agree 100% .

 

If your mood keeps staying negative, I would recommend going to the doctor and asking about medicine you can take for depression and anxiety. Right now I am taking Lamictal and it has helped me a lot and can be taken long term. There are other medicines out there but this helps me the most with my chemical make up. I also used to benefit from Klonopin but I took it too long and I actually think it increased my tinnitus after a couple of years. People are only supposed to use it for like a few weeks or once in a while. Xanax seems to be used by a lot of people that have tinnitus but that is the same issue. Shouldn't be used long term. In addition, I would recommend hearing aids with maskers that have a custom mold that blocks most external sound except that which comes through the hearing aid microphones. Have the hearing aids programmed so that all noise above an uncomfortable level is clipped. I think this is possible but just ask a very experienced audiologist just to make sure. According to my theory if noise is clipped from being amplified above a certain level then the reactive hyperacusis will be less. Try a pair out for 30 days and you can usually get your money back (check the store) if you don't like them. Again talk to an audiologist to see if this makes sense. Get an extended audiogram that goes to 12khz instead of the usual 8khz. Get a large fountain for your bedroom so you can listen to it at night instead of the ringing. Medicine might be able to help you to get rid of some of these suicidal emotions. One thing though is if you take medicines you have to be aware of potential side effects. For example when I first took Lamictal I had to titrate up slowly or else I could get a dangerous rash. Also, if any med increases your T call your doctor asap.

 

@Penate So sorry you are suffering Penate . I too am in T hell . It fills my workd 24/7 with no relief no hope of masking . It has put a stop to all my hobbies and taken the joy from my life.
I keep hoping it will stop one day or that it will level out so i can habituate it.
Dont give up hope friend. Keep going . Best wishes

 

Thanks everyone for the support but I don't see the light, every time I check for something to get my hopes isn't nothing.

 

Had you asked me a year ago, which would have put me roughly where you are now in terms of time since onset, I would have said "my life is over". Today however, it still gets to me and still irritates me, but it does not stop me living. Of course there are things I avoid, so my life isn't the same. It does take time, but you will improve, it's just that the time taken to improve is many months or years for most, rather than a few weeks.

@Penate What was the cause of your tinnitus - if you know.

 

Hi Owen thanks for the advancement , my acoustic trauma, and depression, both at the same time.

 

@Owen what type of things do you avoid? I'm new to this so I kinda need a opinion on this.. Do you think shopping malls are too loud?

 

The obvious things are the loud, loud places, such as the gigs or loud clubs where the speakers are deafening. Don't stand near any loud source of noises. Try to have plugs ready if you are going to loud places. I didn't watch cinema movies for 2 years after T but now it is ok. I don't need plugs for loud movies like the Star War, and when it got too loud, I just use my fingers as ear plugs, lol. Shopping malls shouldn't be a problem unless there are loud events going on at the center stage of some malls, or if you have hyperacusis like I did. Here is a site showing a chart of the type of noises, their dBs, and how long one can expose to it before damage is done. Take good care. God bless.

http://www.dangerousdecibels.org/education/information-center/decibel-exposure-time-guidelines/

 

Hi
I injured my right ear scuba diving two years ago. I suffered 50% hearing loss and severe tinnitus in that ear. Last year I bought a hearing aid with a setting for tinnitus (the background noise sounds like a wave rolling in on the beach). It is the only thing that has helped for me. My tinnitus is reduced about 60 to 70% when I am wearing it and it of course also restores full hearing to the damaged ear. I would strongly recommend trying it to anyone who is dealing with severe tinnitus. Brad

 

Hi Brad

How do you rate yours as severe? Just wondered.

 

Hi
I injured my right ear scuba diving two years ago. I suffered 50% hearing loss and severe tinnitus in that ear. Last year I bought a hearing aid with a setting for tinnitus (the background noise sounds like a wave rolling in on the beach). It is the only thing that has helped for me. My tinnitus is reduced about 60 to 70% when I am wearing it and it of course also restores full hearing to the damaged ear. I would strongly recommend trying it to anyone who is dealing with severe tinnitus. Brad

 

["billie48, post: 201021, member: 2670"]The obvious things are the loud, loud places, such as the gigs or loud clubs where the speakers are deafening. Don't stand near any loud source of noises. Try to have plugs ready if you are going to loud places. I didn't watch cinema movies for 2 years after T but now it is ok. I don't need plugs for loud movies like the Star War, and when it got too loud, I just use my fingers as ear plugs, lol. Shopping malls shouldn't be a problem unless there are loud events going on at the center stage of some malls, or if you have hyperacusis like I did. Here is a site showing a chart of the type of noises, their dBs, and how long one can expose to it before damage is done. Take good care. God bless.

http://www.dangerousdecibels.org/education/information-center/decibel-exposure-time-guidelines/[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much!!! Very helpful! I do have hyperacusis though and constantly debating what I should do because some say dont overprotect and expose yourself to noise so it won't get sensitive and others say its good to overprotect because they got worse from exposing their ears so I'm confused lol. I guess its all just trial and error around here but im scared ill make the wrong decision haha X

 

Severe as in constant loud ringing that was incredibly loud and distracting which was having a very negative affectt on my quality of life.

 

So loud you could hear it in the shower?

 

My I hear over everything, sounds like metallic jets engine both ears, also baby birds and very high power transformer in my head, reactive,and hyperacusiss, horrendous.

 

I don't know how we survive this! It's torture.

 

@DDD My tinnitus started very, very strangely. In fact, I cannot find a person on this earth that had exactly the same experience as me - if you know of someone or you're reading this, I would love to connect.

In effect, it was as if the threshold to my hearing had been significantly reduced. For the first few weeks, if I was at home all day, watching TV, listening to the radio, cooking etc., just typical quiet home noises, I didn't have tinnitus, at all. I couldn't hear it, even in the quietest of rooms. Equally, if I was out and about, at work, shopping, etc, (I guess around 60-70dBspl fairly constantly with the odd short term increase), I would also not have tinnitus.

HOWEVER, if I transitioned from those outside environments to the quiet of home, after about 10 minutes, my ears would suddenly start to scream - and I mean scream. Functionally, I was deaf, I couldn't hear the outside world over it. This would last around 45 minutes before it would subside and them I would be back to normal - as if it had never occurred. It was 100% repeatable. Other tinnitus tones and noises developed over time, but this was the start.

This of course meant that I desperately tried to avoid noise. Not because I felt a physical sensitivity to it at the time, but because it would make my ears scream afterwards. This isn't my understanding of hyperacusis as others define it, but I don't think there is a term for it as I have experienced.

Fortunately, having stopped taking the prescription medication that started all this has significantly reduced the severity of this reaction. I still have it a bit, but it is not so severe as to avoid normal, everyday environments and my hearing has continued to improve

A rule of thumb I was told is that if you have to elevate your voice to be heard, by someone at normal conversational distance, it is too loud. A typical shopping centre should be fine, except perhaps during really busy periods, but why would you want to go when it is really busy anyway?

 

I'm terribly sorry that you are experiencing this situation. You are not alone. I too experience the feelings you described. Sometimes it feels like my life is over but I love life too much to give up. Don't give up. Where there's a will there's a way. Hopefully we can all find answers in this forum.