New and Scared

Hi everybody.

My name is Jelena and I am so glad I discovered this forum. My tinnitus started about a month ago and it has been hell, honestly. I never really knew that something like this is possible and that so many people suffer from it. I was robbed of silence one morning, when I woke up with this awful noise in my head. At first I thought that it's gonna pass, since I had ringing in ears after going to a concert or a club, but after being there for the next couple of days I started freaking out. Now that I am a month into it, I am scared and anxious about it. It's the thought that I'll never be able to enjoy silence again that bugs me..I don't want to live with this for the rest of my life. I am scared that I'll never get used to it and that it will ruin my life. Anyways, I am glad I can talk to other people who are in the same situation and who understand me. I hope we all get rid of this thing one day and that we stay strong.
All the love to all of you!

 

Hi Jelena,I am sorry your scared,that is quite normal,I was too,in fact I thought about suicide.You may not believe me but soon you will not think like that.I have had tinnitus for 2 months,and I now accept it as normal.In the short term I used meds.but now only take a non addictive anti-depressent.Visit your doctor and see what he finds.He should refer you to E.N.T. Good like,you will be fine.regards Malcolm.

 

Hi was yours noise induced or did you just wake up with the ring?

 

Welcome Jelena. Sorry about your suffering from tinnitus. We understand what you are going through as we have been where you are and many of us have recovered and now living a normal life. Don’t worry and give it time. Time will definitely be on your side. Your tinnitus being so new, your body and your nerve are a bit overwhelmed now with the new stimulus. The trauma of T is causing your brain to function under the limbic system of fright or fight. Your brain will have many distorted thoughts about the future, called cognitive distortions in CBT. It is quite normal reaction among new T sufferers.

But you will not always think nor react the same way in a few months, a year or two from now. Why? A few years back I was overwhelmed with ultra high pitched loud T. Worse I was also attacked soon after by severe hyperacusis. All normal sounds turned glassy in quality, and were piercingly hurtful to my senses as if being drilled constantly. I had to wear earplugs all the time, but the plugs blocked off all outside masking sounds, making the harsh T shrill so dominant and unbearable. I had to choose the lesser of two evils and there was no lesser choice between T & H. The brain saw no way out and it caved into relentless panic attacks, being that I was a panic prone person before T & H. So besides the horror of T & H, I also had to face the terrible symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks all day. I had to depend on meds just to survive each long, dark day.

I thought I would never recover from such 'hell' of a life. But never say never. I am here back to normal today, living an absolutely enjoyable and productive life. I even travel often after T, even taking long flights and went on cruises. I went back to enjoy all that I used to enjoy. Life is beautiful now. If I had known that time and a positive attitude plus some CBT strategies would turn my sufferings around, I would not have spent so much time in total misery and trauma during the initial phase of T and worried so much about the future. So hang in there. Don't despair. You will be just fine. Give yourself enough time for the body to absorb in the new sensation. I encourage you to read up all the success stories to give yourself some hope and comfort about the future. You will learn some valuable collective wisdom, insight and effective strategies how to triumph over T from the posters. So be positive, relax and have a bright hope for the future.

Your T being so new, you may want to get the doctors to give you some prednisone or steroids. Members often recommend this for the newer sufferers asap. In the mean time, try masking if you find T really annoying. Here is a TT thread with masking sounds as well as nice tips for new sufferers. Don't panic. Stay positive. Take care. God bless your recovery.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/panic/

 

Dear Jelena

Sounds like our T started about the same time and from similar cause. I understand how you are suffering and how anxious you feel. I'm normally a real health nut and avoid drugs, but for this I've had to go with medication to get me through this initial stage. My anxiety is now much more under control. Look for the thread of 'Success stories' on this forum. There are great stories from others who share their journey. Those stories help me so much during this difficult time.

Sending hugs your way!
Tamika

 

I just woke up one morning with it, have no idea how and why it came. I have to admit that I liked to listen loud music on my headphones, so that might be the reason? Although I did not do it so often, but maybe it is the accumulation over the years? I am not sure.

I went to the doctor and he referred me to an ENT, so we'll see what he'll say. It would be great to know why I got it and what's the cause of it. Anyways, thank you for your kind words of encouragement, I'll try and remain positive and hope for the best.

Sending a hug back..thank you for your kind words

 

Hello and welcome to the board! It is completely normal to react this way at first. But, after some time, your brain will get used to the annoying sound. I had the same thoughts just for a few days ago, but now I think it is pointless to freak out because I know my T won't go away. The best you can do is to live your life as you always have done (Besides avoiding loud noises, of course). I totally understand that you hate the sound and that you wish it to go away. The sound is new and unknown to the brain and we all have an ancient survival instinct that makes us freak out when something new and unconfortable happens to us. I try to "befriend" the sound instead. I don't have any real friends so when I'm sad I just listen to the sound. When I have bad days I listen to masking tracks and that makes me relax. You can find plenty of them on Youtube
Hopefully your T is just a temporary condition. Stay strong and good luck!

 

Given your geographical location and onset of tinnitus, consider perhaps enrollment with the following trial while there is still a patient intake in place. It is - essentially - a unique opportunity, and with follow-up post-trial treatment.

www.tinnitus-study.info

Consider eligibility criteria; mention it to your ENT.

 

Thank you so much! I am still hoping that it is temporary, but with each day passing I am losing hope that it will get better

Thanks for the info, I'll look it up definitely!

Another question:

Do any of you experience multiple sounds in your ear? My T started with just high pitched noise, but now I can hear two more sounds, like pulsation and one more sound, kind of like a fridge running? It scares me to have so many noises..and is that normal? Anybody else experienced that?!

 

Hi and welcome to the board!

Oh yeah, especially at night. Guess that's just the way it goes

 

Jelena, 6 months to 18 months at the 6 month mark you should really see big changes for the better. It will get to the point where you can sleep and function the way you did before T.I am at the 9 month mark I was struggling with T had to take off work for 4 months but I am back and I work full and a part time job now. No body really knows what causes T but your brain will figure out a way to ignore T and you wont be bothered with it , anxiety is a normal part of the onset of T. It will get better with time. Uncle Vikin

 

Do not be scared. Think of it like the new mother. If she fights and resists her new life with a dependant baby she will have bad feelings toward the child and feel frustrated. You cannot make it go away. You have to accept it and accept the possibility that you will never be free again. Don't give up hope that you can cure or lessen it. But don't decide that you cannot ever be happy again until you do get rid of it. You can still be happy now while living with it. It takes time to adjust and you may find you begin to ignore it like selective hearing.

 

Hi ive had T for years but got to a stage where i didnt think about it in the day and just a fan on low at night untill 2 weeks ago i had sinus pain a bit of hayfever and a squeaky noise when i tried to pop my ear now i have the worse T ever even my masker is not blocking it out , will this episode pass ? Im so down , thanks

 

My onset of T was similar to yours. The high pitched sound has left but now I have many other noises. My left ear is worse than my right and I also have head noise.

Over time, I have gotten used to the T. It only bothers me now in the evening when I am trying to sleep.

 

Thanks everyone for your support..it means a lot to me!

Hi Alison..I am not sure what is going on. It might pass, but I am new to this myself so maybe somebody else had a similar episode and could help? I hope it tones down soon!

Just a brief update on my T: I went to an ENT last week and they did a hearing test. The lady that did it told me that I am having beginning of a hearing loss and that is why my T started. I thought that was really strange, plus she was very rude and told me that I need to get used to it and get used to life, since it's hard..and it's all going downhill from here. I was very depressed and sad after that visit, but wanted to get a second opinion from a different doctor..so I went to a different specialist today and guess what: he saw my chart and told me that my hearing is great and my ears look perfect! I don't know what the deal was with that lady, but she scared the heck out of me. Anyways, he said I should do an MRI to see if my neck is the source, since I have bad neck pain all the time. So we'll see..It would be great do determine the cause of the T although I know it's not always possible.

 

Jelena,

So sorry to read, you've developed T. However, if your hearing is great and there's no sign of cochlear damage, your T may resolve itself over time. I believe, only 10% of people with no hearing loss, develop permanent T.

If you go for an MRI, buy some good quality earplugs! MRI's are really loud and are about 40 minutes long. I had one and the protection they gave me was nominal. Do an "open" MRI, if available.

Good luck and God bless!

 

You most likely have already found the cause of your tinnitus. If doesn't hurt hurt to double check but in the overwhelming majority of cases, hearing damage is the the case.

 

Jelena, I want to assure you that you do survive tinnitus. My tinnitus started in April 1972 when I was in close proximity to an explosion in a confined space. I was in the army at the time. My tinnitus has mostly been a hissing sound that has varied from very soft to quite loud. And at times it has also pulsated. In that same explosion I also suffered hearing loss in both the high and low frequencies (which made it a bit difficult when the Army was training me to be a Thai linguist, Asian languages are five tone languages and I only heard the middle three tones).

Hopefully you will find that your tinnitus will be a temporary condition and with care you won't have a repeat of this episode. But if it isn't temporary, you do survive.

As hard as it may seem, stay positive.

 

Hi Jelena, I was where you are now just two months ago. I was so scared and felt completely helpless, I just couldn't imagine being able to live my life with this awful sound 24/7. My body was exhausted from no sleep and my anxiety was through the roof. I'm now three months in with T and things are so much better. The noise has settled down considerably and now is easily masked with everyday background noise, I only really notice it when it's quiet and at bedtime.
I sought help from my GP and have also received some tinnitus counseling. I take a small amount of diazapam a day to help with anxiety and 15mg of mirtazapine at night to help sleep. I would say that the turning point was when I started with the mirtazapine and finally got some precious sleep. I found I could cope so much better and the noise began to reduce week by week.
I took 3 months of work which has really helped me to be able to come to terms with T in my own time. I went back to work on Monday and I've been fine; 2 months ago I could never imagine myself working again !
It may seem impossible to be able to live your life as normal right now and get through this. But I know for certain that you will eventually start to feel better and regain your life back just as I have. Life is good again for me and it will be for you.
Take care and sending big hugs. I know exactly how you feel and it's a horrible place to be, but you will get through these first awful few weeks x

 

Oh yeah, just 3 months ago you were ready to undergo $40,000 hifu brain surgery!
Goes to show that loudness does matter lol. Glad it got better for ya.

 

So you're saying that if my T is not due to hearing loss or noise damage, it should go away? I have to say it has been reasonably quiet for the past 2 days and it makes me very happy and hopeful!

Again, thanks everyone for your nice words of encouragement...I am so glad I found this forum

 

Yes, I'm saying you probably have a better chance of recovering, or at least having lower T, than those of us with cochlear damage.

Whatever you do from now on, protect your ears from loud sources of noise. Ditch the earbuds, loud clubs, concerts and firework displays. Good hearing, is a sacred gift, that we are only given once!

I hope you continue to improve!

Sailboardman

 

That is very true..I did not fully appreciate the great gift of hearing and silence as well before this happened, so at least one good thing came out of this!
Thank you, I hope so too

 

Jelena, you will find T to have it's good days and bad days. Soak in the good days and remember when you have a day that it will get better again. T in some can go in cycles 3-4 days of loud noise followed by very low noise. Don't forget there are people who wake up one day and their T is gone. Don't give up hope

 

That's the dream isn't it? I hope we can all wake up with no more tinnitus, it'll be wonderful for me....To come on here to hear that everyone is cured.

 

You need to read/re-read Demi's "The Positivity Thread" You are really making it tougher on you're self then need be.

 

I've read it all. She's better now.

 

Well, suit yourself Danny. Only you know what works for you my friend...

 

That is true..my T has been really quiet for the past 3 days and I even slept with no masking noise last night, for the first time in a long time! That felt so awesome...Thank you for your kind words.

And yeah..it would be great if we could all be magically cured and T would never be a pain in the ass for anybody anymore..but that is not the possibility so the only way is to stay positive and find ways to live with it. It's an ongoing battle, for sure..