New and Struggling :(

Hello everyone. Clare here.
I've been a silent lurker on this forum since I acquired this Hell. Thought I'd finally sign up.

Apologies for the long spiel. Which will be all over the place. My head is more than fried and my grammar won't be the best here.

Well I'm pretty damn sure this is self inflicted which I'll never forgive myself for! Since my early 20s I've done what most young girls do and went clubbing once a week with friends to let my hair down. As someone who suffers with pretty bad anxiety (especially health anxiety) and id say moderate depression for the past few years, (though it's now bordering on severe) going out with friends was my time to have some fun, have a few jäger bombs and get my "dancing shoes" on ha. I'd get the usual muffled ears by the end of the night and on the rare occasion ringing in the ears the next day. I guess you really don't think about it until something awful happens eh. As I hit my late 20s going out clubbing just didn't appeal to me as much, the odd night out and event here and there. Roll on the 13th of February this year, went out for dinner then we decided to go to a club. How I wish I didn't! Sitting at our table a group of us chatting away drinking (oh and everyone's ears are fine from this night) and I notice this Big speaker not far from us, thought probably not the best place to be sitting, duh! But the more I drank I didn't think about it as much....Fool. Saying that as the night went on and whilst on the dance floor I just feel that's it's super noisy this time and i actually plug my ears at one point as I felt it was that loud! I was wanting to leave at this stage but was convinced to stay a while longer. Meh. My bad.

Anyways the next day I wake up feeling ok. With no ringing ears at all. So I go about my usual business until the night of the 25th I go to bed and notice a ringing in my right ear. I must mention that I had bit of a cold, runny nose constantly (nice) fatigued, just generally feeling rundown. But I've had a cold much worse. I didn't even think right away to the night out 11 days previous. I must also say I was going through a very stressful period worrying about a couple of health issues that I was getting seen to by my doctor/hospital. I really don't know why I'm mentioning all this as deep down I know the cause eh.

I go to my doctor a week later. My doctor is fantastic btw. He couldn't see my ear drum at this stage because of ear wax so he gives me olive oil drops to take then return in about 5 days. After a few days I take myself off to a hearing specialist to get a hearing test done but when she looked into my ear she said she could see a tiny pinprick hole on my eardrum with fluid behind my ear. So I couldn't get the hearing test at that point. I go to my doctor the next day. Said there wasn't a tiny perforation that he can see but there is fluid behind my ear drum. I have no pain. Gives me amoxicillin to take and referred to ENT specialist. I take myself back to a different hearing specialist after I'm told the fluid is now gone, to get a hearing test which was normal.

I then begin to think I hear a faint ringing in my left ear. I wasn't sure if I actually did or if my mind was playing tricks on me. The whole time my anxiety was through the roof. Panicking constantly, crying my eyes out all the time, loss of appetite, withdrawing into myself. Avoiding everyone pretty much.
A bit of a mess to say the least! Anyway I was advised to get custom made earplugs sorted out in the meantime. Whilst getting them moulded I got another hearing test done. Same as last. Normal. Although it only went up to 8000 Hz and I've since read about hidden hearing loss that isn't tested for...? Although she said if it's noise damage there usually a dip at 4000Hz? I don't even know if I'm putting this down correctly. In the meantime I develop some sort of sound sensitivity! I wasn't sure at the time if it was in my head but everything sounds louder to me. Not painful just louder. And I can't stand the noise that comes off my refrigerator, that of course no one else can really hear. Also goes for those big freezers/refrigerators in supermarkets. They sound extra loud and kind of rattle to me. Thought i was going a bit stir crazy.

I may as well throw this in. I have since 3 days ago been given a mouth guard/splint by my dentist to wear each night because my jaw constantly cracks/crunches when I open my mouth, when I yawn...sometimes when I bite into a burger for example too... I sub-consciously sometimes move it from side to side... My bf has remarked on an occasion that he's heard a crack from my jaw whilst I slept too. I've had this jaw cracking/popping since I was a kid. So yeah Tmj I have I reckon. Sometimes my jaw gets achey. Like tired achey but not painful. I feel when I yawn then close it, it isn't aligned properly and I have to open my mouth again or move my jaw from side to side to click into place. If I make sense. Probably not. I'm aware not to open my mouth too wide when yawning as I'm anxious it'll lock. Or clicks out of place too much. It's happened Once. A long while ago but. I can hear the crunching in my ears all the time. I know that this hasn't cause the T (wishful thinking) but thought I'd chip everything in anyways, I just don't know if it'll be making it worse....

So yeah I have the noise in both ears. Changes all the time. Up and down a lot, and it is actually destroying my mental health even more! Not to mention the fact the ENT specialist wasn't very helpful to say the least. Tbh my doctor did warn me that they aren't very good at dealing with tinnitus but still he was so blunt. His words "It can drive people mad, there is no cure and I'll refer you to the tinnitus clinic" I couldn't get out of his room quick enough. Although I don't know what I was expecting really....

I've had more empathy and information from the 3 audiologists that I have seen previously. 2 did find it rather strange that it didn't start until 11 days after my night out though. Also That it only really started in one ear and then about a month later started up on the other ear. I have since found out that there can be a delayed reaction from noise exposure but have been told that's it's really only a couple of days... ? Obviously you guys on here have a lot more knowledge than me. I try my hardest not to google because all I see are utterly depressing stories which scare the bejeezus out of me. So 3 months on and I'm panicking 24/7 , lost all interest in seeing my friends. Guess I'm just a tad envious too. Bad I know. Too scared of any a social situation, although I have ventured out to a couple of restaurants...reluctantly. I've been a bit of a hermit and my life has came to a standstill. I can't bear the noise. Im not functioning properly at all. I'm not fully clued up on what's acceptable noise and not damaging. I fear even normal noise will be damaging. Not rational I know. (The hearing specialist did give me more info than the ENT but I was just a mess while seeing her so didn't take a lot in) I don't even want to Hoover my house or get my hair blow dried at the hairdressers incase it make it worse. Silly I know. Things you don't even have to think about before.

Like I say the noise level goes up and down a lot of the time but I can always hear it. Sometimes It feels like it's trying to retune itself like when your trying to find a certain radio station... Weird. Can't explain it properly. When it's revved up its bad and I feel like sirens are going off in my ears/head. Oh I've also had a private MRI to rule out anything sinister (although I wanted it done too because I'm a migraine sufferer )

The self loathing I have for putting myself in that situation when I knew it was very loud. Drunk or not. It's turned my life upside down. I Just don't fully understand the 11 day delay. Wishful thinking it's another cause. Yes I need to get over that eh.

I'm taking each day as it comes but boy my thoughts are very dark.... I've got an upcoming appointment with my doctor to see about anxiety medication. I've never previously taken anything for my anxiety, just dealt with it myself really which isn't the best I know, but this is on a whole different level and I'm not coping at all. I was told by a locum doctor that for someone with my level of anxiety that this is one of the worst things that could possibly happen to me. Yes no shit! And when it's self inflicted. Well. I Just can't put into words how much I hate myself for it.

Now I know there's people out there with horrible conditions... My brother had cancer a few years back and kicked it's arse!! My hero! I feel rotten even going to him about this but he tells me not to be silly and this is my struggle and he understands. I also actually care for an older family member and i have a lot of empathy for folk, believe me I do but for me this is just all too much for me to handle right now. With my mindset...I'm such a worrier. Always have been. I was born that way. Ha. Stress is my middle name! I'm really struggling. Not to mention the fear about the future...I can't even imagine it being worse if it's like this just now.

I Just needed to properly vent. Even if it is all over the place. A bit like me! Any words of encouragement would truly be appreciated.

Thank you
x

 

Hi Bear0211,
A warm welcome to Tinnitus Talk.
I have just read your story and see you have had tinnitus a while.
I notice you have TMJ and have recently had a mouth guard made that should help your jaw and ease the crunching sound and settle any new joint inflamation.
So do what you can to cut up chewy food and try not to yawn and do things like cut a Apple in half.
I have TMJ and wear a jaw guard until my recent dental work.
Tinnitus at first is hard going but for most people it gets easyier over time.
Keep posting on the main forums for more support as we are here around the clock to support you.....lots of love glynis

 

Thank you for your reply.

Such a long winded post I know. I've Had it since the end of February this year and I'm really struggling with it. It changes alot and it's hard for me to get used to. Though I don't think I can ever accept it. I do hear it all the time. Whether it's loud or a bit lower. When I'm out and about keeping busy I don't notice it as much (though it's always on my mind) but when I'm home I'll admit that i obsess over it. It's so hard going.
Yes the jaw issue I've never really got seen to until now as I thought maybe it won't be helping. What do I know but. I've only had the mouth guard for 3 days and my dentist told me to give it 3 months and if it doesn't help she will refer me to the dental clinic. I'd like to get an X-ray on my jaw because I really feel it's not aligned properly.

Obviously id like the tinnitus to completely do one but that's very very unlikey to ever happen
But even if it went down that i barely notice.... I'd take that.

I feel there are too many limitations with it too and it's so depressing. Especially with the kind of mindset that I have. Im sick at the sight of ear plugs. I'm just at a very negative place right now. It's affecting my relationship because I'm in such a bad place that I just want to withdraw from everything. I just don't see it getting easier for me. I don't feel one ounce of positivity at all. And I feel so bad for feeling like that too.

I feel for everyone who suffers with this horror

 

Its so easy for tinnitus cause low mood or depression and that can cause low self confidence and selfworth and that can cast a shadow in how you see your future.
This will pass over time as your brain adapts to Tinnitus but for some people extra support is needed with talking therapy and antidepressants.
This forum is a great support and know that you are not alone and we are only a click away around the clock.
Stay positive life will get better .....lots of love glynis

 

Yeah I already suffer with anxiety and i'd say moderate depression before T but now it's so much worse, this has just put my anxiety right through the roof
I have huge health anxiety and this is just such a horrible condition to have. I have So much self hatred for myself regarding this and I'm already fearing the future...
I've been reading a lot of the stories on this forum and trying to take everything in....I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so I'll discuss more with her. I'm just at a complete loss and my thoughts are overwhelming. How I have gotten through these 3 months without ripping my head off I'll never know.

Thank you so much for your kind words

 

Hello Clare,

Wow, first of all I would like to
applaud you for being so honest and forthcoming with your ongoing issues.
It takes a lot of courage and commitment to discuss personal feeling to anyone, never mind expressing it socially.
Let me give you some background to myself before I continue.

I was initially on this forum a year ago, and just like you and I was feeling exactly the same way you describe. I can relate and understand how much something so minute, can actually be living torture.
It controls the everyday norm and isolates you into what you described as a "hermit".
You don't want to be around anyone or anything and from my own perspective it initially stopped me from doing the simple things I enjoyed, like exercising, reading and listening to my rock - Biffy, 30 Seconds to Mars. You get the gist.
This went on for a solid 3/4 months before i finally caved. I had two choices.

1. Give up and live my life in the shadow of my former self. I wanted rid of the dark thoughts and fears but didn't want them to be the reasoning behind getting rid of me.

2. Fight this f**ker of a disease / illness with everything I got by not letting it control me. I turned my life around. I listened to music, all be it off a softer more middle of the road nature. But I was listening to it. Which I hadn't done before.

I invested in some ear plugs, but I never got trying the mould ones. I hear their helpful for some. I was recommended Ginko Glonoba.
But after hearing mixed reviews I heard it wasn't effective but I thought to try it anyway and hope for a placebo to kick in. It did but it didn't. Try it, might help you process your anxiety more if anything.
Now that I decided the latter it was time
To put it into practise. After some much beloved research and countless hours on this forum and forums like this I seeked advice like yourself and honestly, this is why I'm back on this forum now. I had to make a new account and thought to help others like yourself as people have made me, ME again.

Few tips to remember.

Don't panic. Your not dying.

Everyday noise in moderation is encouraged.

Eat regularly and lay off the junk food
(I went so long without eating properly or at all and was making it worse over time)

Keep your Brain busy. Let it Work more, Read a book, meet a mate for coffee, take up chess. Anything.

Try not stress when you feel your not in complete silence. As the ringing will worsen the more you stress about it.(easier said than done I know) And remember - were only silent when we pack it in. But not for a long time.

I have a few more tips, but I don't want to bombard you in your first post.

If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask. Their loads of info and help here to assist you. But your not and will not ever be alone. And those that are around you, will hopefully help with your fears. When times are dark. It pays to have someone around to distract you at the least. Embrace it. ✌️

You need to keep believing that this will eventually shift and it'll become
Part of everyday life although a lot
Less annoying. If I can do it. So can you.

Keep the faith.


PS, you sound like you have a sense of
Humour, if so, use that to your advantage.

God bless

 

Hey. Thought I'd just put everything out there. I usually keep all my thoughts worries and fears to myself. Well to a certain extent. As much as my family and co try to support me, I feel I wanted to join up here and write to people who know exactly where I'm coming from.

Before this horror started up I was feeling a lot better within myself. Going back to the gym, feeling more positive regarding my anxiety and depression. I booked a holiday up (which now I'm really not looking forward to and I feel like crap for feeling that way) then boom, this has taken every ounce of enjoyment out of everything. I'm in such a dark hole and I'm at a loss at how I can crawl out of it. my head is thinking a million different things all at once and I just feel on the edge....

Talking of vitimans and supplements I'm a vegetarian and not the best one I must admit. Hah. A crap veggie. As in I've not really taken any vitimans until I got a blood test about 5 months ago and was told my iron was quite low as well as my B12 and ferritin. Probably doesn't help with my migraines! So I was then given ferritin sulfate tablets to take which unfortunately gave me bad stomach cramps. So had to stop them. A week ago I bought vitiman b12 tablets from Holland & Barret which I've started taking. So I'll see if that helps with how I'm feeling. I also read about the Ginko biloba tablets but decided not to start them as I didn't hear of any real benefits.... Can't even think about starting back at the gym Yet. I'm a carer for a family member at the moment so that keeps me somewhat busy but this is on my mind 24/7 and I cannot shut off yet...

I know I'm in a bad place and I need to get myself out of it. It's just the thought of dealing with this for the rest of my life.... Actually terrifies me. as I hear it can get so much worse. I can't possibly imagine it being worse. It's bad enough for me.
I just want it to go down that I have to actually sit and search for it. I hear about habitation but im so negative , I don't feel that will ever happen for me. I hate how negative I am but I feel like I can't help it.

Ha yes most folk tell me I've a good sense of humour but I feel I'm slowly loosing that too. Damn this thing!!

Just want to say thank you so much for your advice, tips and support. Really appreciate it. I'll be hanging about here being a creep for a while no doubt. Ha.

Oh I'll take all the tips you can offer too

Hope you are doing well

 

Hi there. Am also new to the forum, and a fellow anxiety and panic sufferer. I definitely feel your pain. I have been working on my anxiety for a year and a half through CBT, mindfulness, yoga, meditation, positive thinking, active gratitude, etc. I used to be a very negative person and thought catastrophically 24/7. But now, it's not the case. If you're able, I'd recommend finding a therapist, or just checking out some CBT resources online. Thought maybe this is something you've already tried. I used to find them corny, but now I've realized that they are life saving.

It also doesn't help that spring time is the worst for anxiety (I've found). My tinnitus started a month ago and it couldn't have been at a worse time. My anxiety has been off the charts.

 

You mentioned that you had fluid behind your ear? Does it feel like your ear is constantly clogged? As in do you feel the need to pop it (or does it pop automatically when you swallow) more than once an hour? You might want to get checked for Eustachian tube dysfunction. Even if the fluid is now gone, your tube(s) might still be inflammed. If so your doc can prescribe you a nasal steroid spray. My doc prescribed me Dymista a week ago and it's done wonders for my clogged ear sensation. Something to look into...

 

Hi Claire S

I have tried CBT once and I was sorely disappointed as it was a group one, which was just someone going through slideshows with us. I had read all the information myself on Google! If I go down that route again I really think I need one on one with someone. I'll discuss this again with my doctor.

Pleased to hear that it helped yourself. Yoga I've not really given a try. Something to think about. I'm such a negative thinker I seriously doubt anything will be able to change my mindset. See how negative I think. Argh. Anxiety is horrendous at the best of times. Of course which you know all about. But at T into the mix. Soul destroying!

Can I ask you how your T stared? Mines is slowly but surely destroying me

 

Hi
The Red Viper

I wouldn't see they feel clogged a lot hence I don't necessary feel the need to pop them constantly. Sometimes I get this weird pressure in my ears that last a few seconds. My ears crunch a lot. Hard to explain but I've thought it was maybe down to my jaw, defintely think I have TMJ, which I've not long started to use a mouth guard at night. My jaw cracks an pops a lot and I can hear it in my ears. They do "pop" when I yawn, wouldn't really say they do when I swallow.... I can make my ears kind of pop tensing my jaw up and using the muscles in my face. I know I'm not explaining this the best. Yeesh. I do it a fair bit , don't really know why, I think it's sub consciously...

Oh and when I first went to my doctor regarding this he did give me a steroid nasal spray to use.

I think it's more Tmj related tbh

Thank you for your input but

 

If you can try some activity that gets you concentrating on your body and away from whats going on in your head. I have found chi gung immensely beneficial. It breaks the downward spiralling thought process and strengthens the body. There are lots of good you tube vids on it.

 

Hi Clare, I am not 100% sure how it started. I have a feeling it's related to congestion or impacted ear wax because it first started in the night one night while I was wearing ear plugs (as I often *used* to do, now I've stopped) and I was laying my head on its side, resting on the ear plus on the ear that now has tinnitus. My ear since then has felt clogged and congested, and when I've taken decongestant or done things to try to clear things out, it's gotten a bit better.

However, I also went to a concert on May 4th and the tinnitus started within the week and a half afterwards. So it could have been noise induced.

So, I'm still not sure. I have to wait until July 21st to see a specialist, which is such a long time. I'm headed to an urgent care center tomorrow to have someone look in my ear to check for inflammation or an infection. I'm also planning on trying olive oil to clear out any impacted ear wax.

Regarding your anxiety and negative thinking, I'm not sure how much research you've done on it so please forgive me if I'm repeating things you already know. But negative thinking patterns can be changed through a conscious effort to change the way you think. You can change your own neural pathways. It takes time and practice every day. But over time, it can work. It can be as easy as taking a notebook and writing down every good thing that happened during the day, and every thing you are grateful for. It forces your brain to strengthen the neural pathways focusing on the good and the positive. Over time, your brain then will begin to favor those pathways more, because they are stronger. This is the foundation of CBT but it's something you can also do on your own. I am not a fan of work sheets, so I've mostly been doing the work organically in a journal. I take the time to write down positive thoughts and actively contest my own cognitive distortions, whichever ones are going on at the time. Over the last year, I've been able to greatly reduce my negative thinking.

Sending many good thoughts your way! I know you can get through this.

 

Hi volsung37

I know I need to get back to the gym as I do really like it, but everything has just came to a standstill for me at the moment. My head is in such a negative place that I'm withdrawing from everything. Id like to give Yoga, Pilates ect a go, but I just don't see me getting out of this downward spiral I'm heading anytime soon. T is such a bastard! Excuse my French. I know 3 months is not long at all but feels like the longest 3 months of my life!

Yes I'm gonna check out A few things on YouTube...

Thanking ya.

 

@Bear0211 To begin the climb back from the downward spiral, check out Julian Cowan Hill videos on youtube. The man has a lot of profoundly calming and uplifting videos which can be a very helpful support.

 

Hey again Claire.
Hope you are good today...

Jeezo hope yours is something that can easily be corrected. Is it the one ear yes? Does yours go up and down in volume? I get various different sounds. Goes up and down but can always here it at some level. Doesn't help that it's on my mind 24/7. Makes me feel sick
I'm sure mines is from a night out which was extremely loud. But it's weird that It didn't come on until 11 days later and at first it was only in the one ear too. I don't know why the delay.... A couple of hearing specialists I've seen think it is a bit peculiar .... ENT guy said in his educated guess it's probably noise induced. Also I don't think my jaw issues help too... Maybe it has no effect. Im not sure.


I'll admit I've always thought the worst throughout my life. Especially with health issues I've had. It's always the worst case scenario with me. Health anxiety sucks too.
I'm such a stress head aswell. I overly worry/think about things. I've been like that since a kid but was doing pretty well in life until about 4 years ago when I was hit with dreaded depression. I pretty much delt with it myself really. Putting on a good front at times until it all became too much and went to my doctors. I've always been reluctant to try anti depressants because I don't want to rely on medication to make me feel better. Don't get me wrong, I know it helps millions of folk out there including peeps I know. I'm just really not sure regarding it. Though saying that today my doctor has given me a 28 day supply of dizapem to take when I'm feeling extremely anxious and panicky. I felt I needed something as I haven't felt as bad as this in my life. everyday is just one big struggle. I'm usually such a fiesty girl with a strong head on my shoulders even with all the anxiety ect but this has crushed me tbh.

Regarding the CBT i also spoke about that today with my doctor and she is gonna refer me for it, although I know there is a waiting list... You have given me a lot of insightful information. I appreciate it.

I'm pleased that you have managed to get your anxiety and negative thinking down using these steps.

Thank ya for the encouragement

 

Hey Path Maker

Yeah I will check them out. Thank you.

Honestly can't believe the state I have gotten myself in

Anything to get an ounce of positivity in my head...

 

You will!!! Make it a personal adventure to recover yourself and treat it as something worthwhile and of great importance, which it is!

 

Thank you so much for those encouraging words

The support on this forum is pretty damn amazing.

 

Hey! Back again. Sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. I'm glad that you've looked into therapy options. I have been in a place like how you're feeling before, where you feel completely hopeless and like life is just too overwhelming and hard to deal with. It's really tough. Sending virtual hugs. It'll take time but I'm sure that if you keep trying, you'll find a way to feel better, with or without tinnitus.

 

Hey. How you been?

Yes I'm definitely looking into anything that will make me feel better and give me some posititvy. It's so hard whilst dealing with this though. I know I'm not the only one right enough. But damn i would literally do anything for it to do one! Wishful thinking

Thank you for taking the time to write to me

Just saw that you replied on your own thread. Glad it's better for you

 

Did your tinnitus go down? I oftened wondered if E-tubes could still be inflammed causing noises after they are cleared out. I have some Flonase. I have some static hissing now. Hard to tell where it's coming from?

 

Yes it has gone down tremendously. I think it may even be gone! There are times where I'm not sure if what I'm hearing is true silence or minor T. Perhaps before I got T I never really paid attention to the "type" of silence I had so now when I'm trying to assess whether the T is gone, I think it's still there when in reality it could just be the silence I've always known but never really paid attention to.

I was on Flonase for about 3 weeks before switching to Dymista. The Flonase didn't do anything, whereas the Dymista has been super helpful. I had headaches along with the ear popping sensation. The headaches are virtually gone and the ear popping seems to be going down as well. I think ETD is what has been causing my T.

 

@The Red Viper I was also told that my T might be caused by E-tube inflammation related to allergies causing pressure issues in my ears which could be causing the T. Have been taking Flonase for 3 days now and am experiencing the exact thing that you describe - T is greatly diminished, and what I'm hearing now is so faint that I wonder if it had always been there before but I never noticed it because it was so faint. The T comes back stronger between doses, but I notice immediate relief right after using the spray. Am hoping that over time, the inflammation will gradually reduce down enough for the T to completely go away. Glad to hear that someone else is experiencing the same!

 

@Claire S , did your ETD follow a cold?

 

@The Red Viper, thought I'd start commenting on this thread as well, I have only just signed up to this site and have been lurking in the shadows for a while just like @Bear0211 ha! I have had tinnitus for 17 days now, counting the days as they pass lol, it was brought on by a bad cold or sinus infection I'm not really sure it was very flu like anyway (I'm very rarely sick and never had problem with my ears), I woke up one morning while my cold was starting to pass to discover I had gone basically deaf in my left in, it felt extremely full like I was under water, 2 days after that the tinnitus started and it was very severe for about 8 days, I couldn't sleep, eat, work, leave the house or simply talk to anyone and I had the worst anxiety ever (I don't think I've ever experienced anxiety until I got tinnitus) anyway after 8 days my left ear felt like it popped and my hearing got much much better, almost back to normal but the tinnitus is still there, it feels much more bearable now I can hear but I don't think the noise has got any quieter, I saw an ENT specialist on Friday 10th and was told I have "glue ear" and I'm unlucky as it's rare in adults, anyway all I really want to know is if the glue ear is the cause of my tinnitus (or even if tinnitus is a symptom of glue ear) and if it will pass once the Etubes clear up, I also had a very inflamed ear canal which has since cleared up.

Sorry for the long post I just have no one else to talk to as no one has a clue what this noise is like!

 

Hey,

How you been holding up?

Peace ✌️

 

Hola.

Uck Today has been a really shit today with it tbh. Nat good. Been doing just okay prior I guess.... Doesn't help I suffer with bad migraines too. Yaldi. Cheers for asking.

Thinking about seeing if I can get myself a brain transplant :B a time machine would be fanatic too! :|

Hope you are good...Can I be nosy and ask how you got yours?

 

Ah, sorry to hear your having a bad time at the moment. I know it's hard but imbrace those around you. Socialise and try do "normal" things. Got that hair done yet?
If not - get it done. You having nothing to fear. In other words the damage is done and it's going to take a lot to damage them a lot further. Small noises, such as hairdryers and tv's etc will not have a huge impact.
Trust me.
Have you taken up yoga or Pilates yet? Be a good idea to get you out and about and focus your negative energy on something. I know it's cliche but it can really help the mind body and soul. Try it.

I'm a small time music producer for up and coming bands. My work involves listening to a lot of live music,albums and demos form
New bands.
I think doing this along with living a lively lifestyle socially hasn't helped my ears. But their is hope. Please get out and about.
Your doing great, stay positive, and get that hair down. Feel great about yourself again.
Peace ✌️

 

I'm actually withdrawing from everyone around me at the moment cause I'm not my usual fun feisty self, so I'm thinking what's the point. :/ not the best company anyways.
I'm too anxious to socialise and I miss it. It's no fun being a hermit for 3 months. Meh. I've Been invited to a few events and thats out the window. Forget Titp this year. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself but it's driving me nuts and restricting everything I can do. I just hope it gets better. My long blonde hair is looking a riot right now, Boke... cause I'm too anxious to even go to the hairdressers. I don't even know if I need to wear earplugs for that! As I defo have some sound sensitivity going on too.

I went to the gym the other day and I just felt so anxious I wanna go back to how I was so bad!

Yoga... Well my cousin (who I've recently Found out has T but he only hears it if you mention it to him so I don't think it's too bad) is bugging me to try yoga. I'll give anything a bash.

I'm not long back in from town and everything seems so damn loud! Jeezo the stuff I didn't even think twice about before. I'm just yearning for everything to be how it once was. But I know that's not rational.

Music producing eh. That's great. Can I ask you if you've got to this habitation point everyone talks of?....

Man sorry about all the complaining :/ I know everyone on here has to go through this shit.
Thank ya so much for the advice and encouraging words. It's much appreciated