Scared and Panicked

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Bryanpen, Jan 19, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Hello all,

      My name is Bryan and I am 1 month into my tinnitus. Woke up one morning with fullness in my right ear and intense ringing. Since then the fullness has subsided but the riniging is still there pretty much 24/7 (though more problematic at certain times). Had a hearing test (everything pretty normal) and a pressure test and surprisingly no fluid in the ear. Not sure what is continuing to cause the ringing, and my doctor had no insight. Reading online is just scaring the hell out of me! Anxiety, stress, and paranoia are at a alltime high. I am only 36 with three small kids...I can't live life like this! This forum seems to be the place for coping, but in my head are still some pretty dark thoughts. Looking for ideas on the next steps. Has anyone tried acupuncture/acupressure? Thanks for reading my rant...feels good to get this out to people who understand my situation.

      Bryan
       
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    2. Enzo312
      Caffeine

      Enzo312 Member

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2 months
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unkown
      Hey Brayn!

      It shall go away, that's how you should think! The good news is that there is no hearing loss and no fluid in the ear, and pretty sure it's a phase and will pass. Do you have the ringing 24/7 that doesn't make u sleep? is it loud that you can't focus?

      Sometimes focusing on it makes it loud, try to listen to Binaural beats online ( youtube) it helps, believe that you are the one who should heal it, clear your mind from stress, anxiety, tell yourself each morning " I AM GOOD" , try to change a bit of your lifestyle, maybe try meditation a little. These are just little things that can ease your mind and make you coop in order to find the way out of it and I AM SURE YOU WILL.

      BE GOOD :D
       
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    3. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      welcome Bryan. You are at the right place for T support. Yes, we understand the suffering you are going through. Many of us had been where you are. You have our empathy. Your description kind of mirrors many members' description of their initial sufferings in their success stories. Yes, T is not an end game. People do get better, especially they give it time and use some strategies. You may want to spend time to read as many stories as possible to know that there is hope that you will be like them in time. I like to share mine story with a few selected ones to give you a glimpse of the possibility of getting better over time.

      My story with severe T & H plus relentless anxiety & panic:

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

      The most read success story ‘Back to Silence’ with a simple effective strategy by IWLM: (this is a long thread, so you can read the main story and posts for a few pages and skip to other stories)
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

      Jade’s success story with super loud T, louder than the 800 tonne truck she drives in mining`:
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/6-months-tinnitus-still-going-strong-but-so-am-i.3226/

      Dr. Hubbard’s success story (see how a doctor heals himself):
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/how-cbt-helped-me-live-again-dr-hubbards-story.4608/

      By the way, have you tried masking your T so you won't be so anxious & stressed out. Anxiety and stress are bad and can aggravate T. So try some masking if you haven't yet. Try mask at bed time with a sound pillow or sound machine. If you need masking on the go, try an ipad or smart phone. Anywhere you have computer speakers, here are some nice masking sounds:

      TT’s own excellent masking sounds:
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/audioplayer/

      If you need more masking sounds, here is free ‘aire freshener’:
      http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html

      Rain sounds are soothing indeed. You can mix your own rain sounds with this rain generator:
      http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/rainNoiseGenerator.php

      Search youtube with ‘masking sounds’ and you will also get lots of different nature sounds, such as rain, waves, waterfalls, running brooks, insect sounds, even shower & faucet etc.
       
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    4. Peter61

      Peter61 Member

      Location:
      The Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2012
      @billie48,
      Hi, I just want to say that I really appreciate your posts and your efforts to help people who just got T. It's so important to have someone who understands what you're going through during the initial stage of T. You keep providing people with help, good advice and support. Again, thank you for that, my heartfelt compliments for your good work.
       
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    5. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      @Peter61
      Thank you Peter for the kind words. I am doing what I can to give back to the support community, like many of my fellow members do, by sharing my experience and the insights I have learned from those who have extended their kind help to me at my darkest time. The newer members are going through their toughest patch of T journey and they need our help most. It makes a better world that people are helping each other, even among strangers from all over the world. A support forum like this reflects the best attributes in us by reaching out compassionately to those in dire need of help. Together we are doing something good for humanity. God bless us all.
       
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    6. MCB
      Sunshine

      MCB Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2011
      Brian, what works for me is exercise. It doesn't lower my T, but it does help me better cope with it. I'd be interested in hearing how acupuncture works for you.
       
    7. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Bryan, do you have a history of loud noise exposure, shooting guns, loud headphones, concerts, clubs, etc?

      I'm about 3 weeks in and I know the desperation. I can endure all sorts of suffering knowing there is an end in sight, but it's terrible getting told it's permanent and there is nothing you can do about it.
       
    8. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Thanks for all the responses. I could actually feel my stress and anxiety level decrease as I read them...just wish the ringing followed suit! I went back to gym last night (first time since the ringing started). It was nice to burn out a little stress. My T is off and on, though much more on than off. It seems to be worst in the late afternoon and evenings, which is really problematic for my family. I hate coming home with this going on and them getting the brunt of my stress level. I have convinced them to go for a family walk before dinner and that seems to help me (though walking with three kids under the age of ten can bring its own level of stress)! I have been employing a sound machine app on my phone for sleeping, but it doesn't really mask the ringing, simply adds more noise. I also notice my T is worst when driving. Not sure if it’s related to enclosed space or a pressure thing. Anyone else notice this? Opening the windows helps a little but it’s hard to do in the winter/rainy season. Have an appointment with the ENT and acupuncture doc next week. My health care provider also has T therapy classes that I may employ. Seems like the best way to pull myself out of the depression is to realize this can be a long-term situation and address the healthiest ways to deal with it. Easier said than done at this stage. Again thanks for the ongoing support. I think this forum is really going to help!


      Thank you billie48 for the useful links. I am going to try these tonight.
       
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    9. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Yes I notice that too about T inside a car. It seems to amp the T inside a closed space more than open space. Don't know why that is the case. Anyhow these days I don't give a dime about T high or low. Hope you will get better and better over time.
       
    10. Heather415
      Badass

      Heather415 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Be strong for your little ones, Bryan! They will be the first to know how much pain your in, and seeing them in distress will only make yours worse. I was really looking into acupuncture, per my friends suggestion, who swears by it for relaxation…however I've always had an eversion to needles. Acupressure seems a lot less invasive, and I scoped some great links from people on this site about massages to release built-up fluids in the ear passages that might be causing inflammation. Keep u posted!
      FYI - I'm new here too, your in the right place!
       
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    11. Lorritay
      Jaded

      Lorritay Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Hi Brian I am also New to this and started with ringing in my ear 5 weeks ago.It is so scary to deal with and I got nothing from doctors only ENT referral.Hoping it goes away soon.
       
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    12. Purple Parrot
      Bookworm

      Purple Parrot Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015 - 3/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multiple: anxiety, childhood ear infections, loud music
      Hi Bryan,

      I know how you feel - I was like that in my first month of tinnitus. Thankfully I have stopped feeling anxious and panicky. I have the wonderful people at this forum to thank for that. I'm still on the course to habituating and have a way to go, but I feel confident and reassured that I will keep getting better. Some days are tougher than others - I accept that there will be bumps along the road in my healing journey.

      The three things I found have most useful in coping to date have been yoga, massage and mindfulness. I also take a combined supplement at night containing magnesium, serotonin and 5-htp. At the beginning, when I felt like I couldn't cope with life, I was taking Lorazepam (Atvian). The latter helped enormously and it's reassuring to know that it's an option if things get really bad.

      Keep trucking on! Time is an amazing healer. So are friends who understand your pain.
       
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    13. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Thanks Heather. You are sure right about that. I feel so bad because my stress and anxiety is consuming me and not allowing me to enjoy my time with them. Gotta stay positive!
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    14. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      I am having problems when I am outside...a very high pitch noise in the back of my head. It's madding because I am outside playing with my kids trying to take my mind off it. Trying to keep busy and distract me for my T is not even an option! Feeling very depressed right now!
       
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    15. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Hi, Bryan,

      I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. Your tinnitus is still very new, and for most of us, that was when it was at its worst. It takes time to get to where you can distract yourself from the tinnitus, but it can be done. Don't give up; distraction is still just about the best remedy there is for overcoming your tinnitus. You might also want to try some natural supplements, such as NAC (N-acetylcistene) or magnesium. I take magnesium chloride tablets, which are easily absorbed by the body, and they help with calming and relaxing you so you can sleep.

      I tried acupuncture when my tinnitus first began, and it was helpful in calming me down and getting rid of the anxiety, although it didn't really affect my tinnitus one way or another. You could try it to see if it works for you. If you do decide to try it, please let us know how it works for you.

      Stay strong, try to get some sleep, and try some of our suggestions. As time goes on, you will find that things will begin to improve.

      Take care, and have a peaceful evening!

      Best wishes,
      Karen
       
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    16. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Thank you Karen.
       
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    17. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      I totally agree with Karen there about the newness of T and the worst time of suffering at this new stage. The brain is facing a new, alien sound that it tries to get rid of but can't. So it treats T erroneously as a threat. With that the defensive mechanism of the body is at work, constantly monitoring this sound, thereby making it hard to not be aware of this sound. Give it time. Be patient. Don't rush it. Trying to rush something the body is not ready will end up in stress and anxiety, and these can aggravate T. Try to mentally prepare yourself that you will be aware of this ringing for some time, but sooner or later, either it will fade in intensity or your brain will start to get used to this sound (especially if you don't resist it with bad emotions).
       
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    18. Pb1

      Pb1 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Hi Bryan,

      Just read your story and wanted to say I fully understand what you're going through. I have had this thing in my head now for about 2 weeks and it's extremely difficult to cope with when it's a 24/7 thing and the noise is so horrible. The noise that I'm hearing most of the time is in both ears and sounds like the screeching metal of a train braking.

      I'm also 36 and I'm thinking of how I'm going to cope with the rest of my life if this doesn't go away, or at least drop to a more manageble tone or volume. Quite frankly it is scaring me a lot. I'm just hoping that as time goes by the brain will manage to become more used to it and filter it out to the point were it isn't as noticeable.

      Anyway just wanted to say I'm also going through this and hopefully we'll be able to help each other find a way to mitigate the problem.

      All the best

      Phil

      p.s Hi Billie48, I just noticed you live in Vancouver, do you know if there are any groups in Vancouver that meet up to help each other with this problem?

      Thanks
       
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    19. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Thank Phil. I feel for you. Do you know the cause of your T? It's extremely difficult to have this on your mind every minute of the day. Even when I try to keep myself busy with a task it's still envading my thoughts. At this point it's hard to imagine being able to get used to this! While I don't wish this on anyone, it's nice to have someone you fully understand want I am going through. Hang in there Phil and with some time we can recover together.


      Bryan
       
    20. Pb1

      Pb1 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Hi Bryan,

      Ha no problem I totally understand, believe me I know it's good to know that there are other people who have gone through / are going through this condition, it makes you feel not so alone.

      I think that's something that makes this thing even worse is that other people can't see the horror you're going through. I looked in the mirror today and I was thinking it's so annoying that I look at myself and I look just like I always have but inside my head I'm being tortured. It would almost be easier if you developed huge ears to go along with it or something so there would at least be some kind of outward sign that other people could see and know that you're suffering.

      The reason I've got it I'm sure is due to a series of unfortunate, and bizarre, events. Writing this out I still can't believe what's happened.

      Basically about a month ago I had a bit of an accident with some hot water that put me into considerable pain for a few weeks. A couple of weeks after that my nervous system just seemed to go absolutely crazy (I think this could have been from a combination of me panicking and not being able to sleep more than 3 hours at a time for weeks due to the pain). I became hypersensitive to pain and temperature, my legs felt difficult to move etc. So in order to help stop this I had about 3 days were I was taking painkillers (nothing unusual, just normal Paracetamol, Aspirin and Ibuprofen at normal strengths) every 4 hours. I'm not sure if this could have contributed to the T starting but I've since read that it possibly could.

      Then after that I went to a Cafe with a friend for a coffee and after a few minutes of sitting down I noticed a ringing in my right ear, I then realized that the light fitting next to me was malfunctioning and giving off a kind of high pitched buzzing sound. So we moved to the other side of the Cafe but the ringing (more of a high pitched whistling) stayed in my ear. The bloomin thing then moved to my left ear as well after a few minutes and I've basically had it ever since. Oh how I wish I hadn't gone for that coffee!

      It's been really weird since. I think for awhile I also developed some kind of hyperacusis as I was hearing things really loudly but from really far away. The noise is now at a state were sometimes I can be walking around and although I can still here it whistling away in the background it is at a level that is sort of bearable. Then at other times the volume will really ramp up and it's so loud and high pitched, that even though I know it can't be as there is no actual noise, it actually feels painful to listen to.

      I've found so far that the best way to deal with it when it's like this is to turn on a de-humidifier I've got as the sound from that seems to take the edge off it a bit (I'm going to look a bit silly walking around carrying a de-humidifier the size of a suitcase with me wherever I go!) or to turn on a relaxation CD I've got which also helps to cover it up.

      At the moment I've got to be honest I'm really struggling to cope with it. I keep thinking the rest of my life is now going to be just one long load of suffering. I'm trying to be strong though and think of ways that I can deal with this on a day to day basis as it's really to loud and high pitched to just ignore it. I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm being a bit soft. I've always prided myself in the past that I've overcome many difficult situations and been strong and self-reliant, but it's the constant nature of this thing that is making it the hardest thing by far that I have ever faced. I've broken a few bones in the past in climbing accidents and they were nothing compared to this.

      I think this is something that it's great that there's a forum for people to talk to each other about it. It's a terrifying thing to be going through, and hopefully we can find strength in talking to and helping each other.

      At the moment I'm still desperately hoping that it will go away by itself or at least reduce in volume and tone to something that is manageable. Or that if it doesn't the brain will at least learn to filter it out and habituate to the sound.

      How are you managing to cope at night? Do you leave a CD playing or leave a fan on or something? Sounds crazy but I'm kind of worried that if I do that I'm going to wake up to find I've got relaxation music playing constantly in my head too!
       
    21. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      I too am clinging to hope that this will go away. In the meantime I am going to try some acupuncture/acupressure. Maybe that will help...if anything it should help reduce my anxiety. Right now it feels like I am walking on needles...do I go outside a run around with my kids with the fear the ringing will get louder? It seems when I find a moment in time where the riniging is manageable I don't want anything to upset that. Not a productive way to make through the day!
       
    22. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I'm in my early 30's and just got T. It's been rough for me to deal with also. I live alone and I used to just relax in quiet at the end of the day. I'm the type that likes silence, and to think I may never experience it again is just too much.

      Three and a half weeks of this constant high pitch buzzing in my head, it is nearly unmistakable, it does not come an go, it hasn't changed pitch. I can't relax, I have a hard time sleeping. This has been a nightmare.
      The most ironic thing is I have always protected my hearing, listened to music on low volume, etc. Just takes one idiot to turn your life upside down.
       
    23. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Sorry Alue. I feel your pain. The waves panic seem ever ending. I really appreciate this forum but I don't think I'm quite ready to set aside the depression and fear for positive thoughts. Feel kinda weak, always thought I was stronger mentally, but this is nothing I ever could have imagined. I can string being stronger if you can! I'm pulling for you!
       
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    24. Zorro!
      Wtf

      Zorro! Member

      Bryan, hang in there, you're stronger than you think. You're just in the worst part of the anxiety and depression. It has happened (or is happening) to pretty much all of us here on this site. The good news is that the horrible mental aspects of tinnitus often improve in time. That's cold comfort right now I know, but maybe that thought will help you get through this really rough period.
       
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    25. Bryanpen

      Bryanpen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Thanks Zorro. Thanks to you and others on this site I have the support to get through this time. This gotta remember that moving forward!
       
    26. kristinsj

      kristinsj Member

      Location:
      Bodø, Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      No known reason
      Hang in there, and here I know the amount of information and the level of anxiety in the early stages are quite a handful, but please try to stay focused on the hope and chance that you either will get better or at least manage to cope with T better. On my good days I manage to be thankful that T has in fact forced me to get my priorities in life straight. You basically HAVE to take as good care of yourself as you can, in order to cope with the rest. I can really relate to the thoughts you are sharing when it comes to your kids. It is awful to be put on the bench when it comes to them. Hopefully, this will get better. Wishing you all the best.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    27. Purple Parrot
      Bookworm

      Purple Parrot Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015 - 3/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multiple: anxiety, childhood ear infections, loud music
      Keep reading the "Success Stories" part of the forum Bryan!
       
    28. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      @Pb1, not that I know of, but that was based on my experience about 7 years ago. I saw two audiologists who are specialized with T. They didn't mention that there were a local support group to join. Perhaps you can check with them to see if there is a group here locally.

      1) Glynnis Tidball who oversaw the Tinnitus Clinic at the St. Paul Hospital.
      http://thischangedmypractice.com/tinnitus-the-essentials-of-patient-care/

      2) Carol Lau who heads a hearing clinic.
      http://www.soundidears.com/about_sound.html

      I think both of them are certified TRT therapists too. These folks are intimately in touch with the tinnitus patients here in Vancouver. So they should know if there are support groups out there currently.
       
    29. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      There are many ways you can mask your T. Here are some suggestions:

      1) Mask at bed time so you can sleep better. Find whatever sounds/music that are soothing to you. You can use a sound machine or sound pillow for this, or a computer with speakers.

      2) If you need masking on the go, try load an ipad with nature sounds or music using itune, or use smart phone.

      3) If you have computer and speakers, you can try these excellent masking sounds:

      TT's audio player: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/audioplayer/
      or download free sound generator ‘aire freshener’: http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html
      or make your own rain sound: http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/rainNoiseGenerator.php
      or search youtube with words like 'tinnitus masking sounds', 'white noise', 'rain sound' etc.

      And if you need DIY notched Acoustic Coordinated Reset Neuromodulation (ACRN):
      (please be careful and research the pro and con on ACRN before proceeding with caution)
      http://www.tinnitus.org.uk/acoustic-cr-neuromodulation
      http://www.generalfuzz.net/acrn/
       
    30. Lorritay
      Jaded

      Lorritay Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Hi it's lorritay.I was just wondering how you are getting on now as our tinnitus was very similar.It's 9 weeks for me now and is still the same, possibly has more periods of hissing noises now and I am sleeping better but still is hard work to cope with.Been to ENT and got exactly the same response as you totally flat.No emotional support just said my hearing ok and have a MIR scan in a few weeks and nothing else.Hope you are feeling better with some improvement.
       

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