Success for Me

I’m not suicidal anymore and I know this isn’t the success story we log on wanting to read but after sitting here thinking about where I was 6 weeks ago and where I am now IS success FOR ME!

No my tinnitus is not gone, is it lower? Maybe but then again that might be my friend Xanax doing its job who knows.

I haven’t been taking any supplements or anything aside from magnesium oil that I spray on after a bath or shower but I’ve bought them, I tried Zinc for 2 days and noticed a spike so stopped the zinc, was drinking ACV which seemed to have a slight affect on the volume but that stuff is hard to get down so it’s hard to take daily.

I saw an audiologist who gave me some hope, my hearing is close to perfect. But still not sure what caused my T, in the beginning anger overtook me 24/7 I couldn’t get out of bed and I missed a month of work in December but I’m slowly getting back to life, my dr prescribed me lexapro but I’ve been afraid to start it because of the horror stories I’ve read on here about AD’s making it worse.

I had a day last Sunday (super bowl Sunday) where I went hours not even thinking of my T which NEVER happens! I was so busy cooking and getting ready for the event that I felt almost normal, BUT then I started listening for it and sure enough it resurfaced loud and clear. I would say mine is a 8/10 I hear it over everything it’s very high pitched.

But somehow I’m less bothered by it most days now, I mean don’t get me wrong I still get fucking sad and angry and wonder what caused it and if I could have avoided this torture but I see many recover completely and think to myself, that could be me.

Dwelling on doom and gloom along with others on this forum stuck in misery is not going to help anyone and I’m sure the ones I see chastising ppl on a regular basis for having anything positive to say while still having T will dig in on me after this post but it is what it is.

I pray we all find silence again one day BUT I can guarantee that won’t happen with a negative outlook.

Unrelated but my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 TERMINAL ovarian cancer in 2015 they gave her 6 fucking months to live!!! Guess what she’s still here matter of fact she is on her way to drop off my daughter after watching her for the night. She hasn’t taken one single thing to stop the process from killing her the only thing my mother has is a POSITIVE outlook and strength like nothing I’ve ever seen! She is amazing and if she can walk through life with cancer throughout her ENTIRE body then I believe I can find a way to walk through life with this constant tone in my head OH AND BY THE WAY she also has had Tinnitus for over 17 years it started when she was diagnosed with lymes disease and never complained or mentioned it until I started going through it! I never know when she is in pain, feeling weak, being tortured mentally because she doesn’t fucking complain about a damn thing. Just a thought, negative thoughts create negative outcomes!

I hope I can soon come on here and give a success story that most of you will find more worth reading as in my T is gone completely, I’ll be trying acupuncture and some supplements soon so I will keep you all posted.

May we all be T free day one day but for now at least I no longer google “painless suicide”

 

It's probably the Xanax making you feel better... try wean off of it.

 

Ok Dr. Doom

 

If Xanax helps why not continue? Xanax helped Kevin Hogan the most. Jack Vernon had a Xanax protocol that he used for tinnitus reduction. I think you need to stay on it for several months taking it 2-3 times per day. Dose dependent on body mass.

 

Good for you. Your T is very new, and in all likely hood will fade away over time, but it will probably take many months. I have had bad T (acoustic trauma) 2 times in my life. 1st time it took almost 2 full years to fade to zero. This time it has been 16 months and I am a 80%+ faded.
Just because you have T now does not mean you will have it forever. For most people it resolves itself within 1-2- years.

 

Your post sounds like a SUCCESS story to me

I'm proud of you, as others are too. Remain as positive as you can and simply move forward. Tinnitus is horrible, but letting it keep us down is even more horrible...

 

@fishbone hey I actually posted this in the success thread but it was deleted for some reason? Perhaps by @Markku but I’m not sure why

 

That's alright I think this post would reach a lot more sufferers here

 

I bookmarked your post, so I can read it whenever my negative feeling resurfaces. Thank you. Best wishes to you and your mom (she is my icon now).

 

@Ying_X79 thank you she is mine as well ❤️

 

What a amazing way to look at this utterly horrible thing called tinnitus, I will also book mark this post and look at it when I’m feeling down.

Positive thoughts are what we all need even though it’s hard at times.

All the best to you and your mum (who sounds like an absolute superstar)

 

@Zinnia i agree but my mom has taken Xanax daily almost her whole life because of debilitating anxiety and she is ok she stopped it for awhile a couple years ago weaning correctly the withdrawl symptoms weren’t too severe

 

@Dginobile
That's wonderful that you are doing so much better. I hope things continue on a positive note for you. What I want to respond to also is about Xanax and benzodiazepines in general. I don't know how long you've been on it and how often you take it but please be aware these are not drugs to be taken lightly. That is awesome that you are doing so much better, but please read up on long term use and other aspects of them. Doctors are also pretty ignorant about them as well. Take care.

 

@Chris Holland
@fishbone
@jjflyman
@Agrajag364
I've got to speak up about your comments/likes/etc for the lighthearted attitude about Xanax/benzodiazepines. I'm not going into detail on this thread about the dangers associated with them but know that there are many. No one should be cavalier about taking benzos long term. Read up on them and learn about the realities of these drugs, then you can actually help enlighten people about what's involved when taking them.

This is not fear mongering or negativity, this is reality.

 

Meant to add @just1morething to my previous post.

 

Who was light hearted about benzos? I don't have to read up on anything, I was addicted to them and much more. I have some choice words that I want to say, but i'll control myself. Please read better before making such blanket statements......

My post was praising her on her good attitude and not about leaning on benzos and using them long term.....

 

@fishbone
Well, first of all your reaction is odd (having to "control yourself so you won't share some choice words w/ me") because I never said anything aggressive or insulting in my post.

Then this, lol, "please read better before making such blanket statements." Well, here's a suggestion to you: please remember better before responding without paying attention. Here you go, all spelled out... you liked the Dr. Doom response to a user who pointed out that Xanax should be weaned off of (suggesting that it's not a good idea to be on it) which suggests that indeed you were lighthearted about benzos.

You may unwad now.

 

Xanax should be weaned off and done with a proper taper.....your point? Please try bringing up some logics before posting to me, my reputation on this forum speaks for itself......

After I beat my benzos addiction, I supported former benzo users for close to 3 years as well. So you are just typing to the wrong person about not taking benzos seriously...

 

@fishbone

I wasn't responding at all to your post. I was responding to the comment you "liked."

 

I've been on Zolpidem for many years and don't know the long term repercussions. If I knew it was causing my noise I would discontinue. Still taking 5mg. I thought Jack Vernon and Kevin Hogan recommended Xanax. I'll take any advice I can get. I have been on several different benzos, primarily Clonazepam. I don't want to get into any conflicts with anyone on a support forum.

 

@fishbone
We are definitely not staying on topic here because that's not at all what I brought up. I don't think you're following me. I linked your name in my post because of the post you liked. And I've explained why previously.

On a side note, I don't think it's necessary to bring up what your reputation is, or who you might be, on this forum.

 

The person I made the comment to is very negative, all the time, someone has some success and he needs to imply it's due to Xanax, the ''try weaning off'' was a snark remark which could be translated as ''try weaning off and see how you'll feel then'' which is quite doom and gloom, hence the Dr. Doom, get it? It's called sarcasm.

I don't know why you think I am lighthearted about taking Xanax, I have to take this shit as well and I never so much as took an aspirin before this. I also use Temazepam just to get to sleep, it's either that or being a train wreck all the time. Nobody is saying take this lightly, that is your assumption, I definitely don't plan on taking these drugs for years and I'm very strict with my dosages, this drug saved my life however and if used as intended the whole withdrawal does not have to be too bad at all, the stories about this are usually people who took these drugs for years at high dosages and everybody responds differently.

I smoked weed for 12 years prior to T before quitting cold turkey due to it increasing my T, if you look up the potential side effects of this so called ''innocent'' drug there are quite a few too, so does alcohol, so do cigarettes, so does sugar and so does any pharmaceutical for that matter. Unless you are a catholic nun who does non of the above please don't preach to me, do what's right for you but leave me out thank you very much.

 

@Zinnia, I was actually told by a Mayo psychiatrist to go to an inpatient facility to wean off my meds. I checked into that and it would be a 30 day treatment minimum. Cost is $10,000. With insurance I would pay 30% of that I believe.

 

I apologize to the thread starter for coming into your success thread. My post was based on you being ok and living your life again. It had nothing to do with your benzo use or anything. benzos are a serious topic and I will not discuss this further in your thread.

benzos are a serious matter though and should not be taken lightly.

 

I can't remember ever posting any advice on the use, continued use or discontinuing use of Xanax or any Benzo drug. I have never used any of these drugs and I know nothing about them.
If any comments I ever posted give any implied advice about these drugs I apologize for the confusion.
Are you sure you have the right guy?

 

Definitely. We cannot habituate properly while taking benzodiazepines. These drugs should not be taken for relief of tinnitus distress, other than very occasionally if necessary, because the risk of tolerance and dependence is too high. Benzo withdrawal is not fun, I know this from experience.

 

With all due respect, I know you mean well and I don't doubt your experience with benzo drugs might have been a difficult one but at low dosages for a needed period and then tapering off gradually CAN be very helpful when habituating. These drugs are anti anxiety drugs and help with sleep, if you are TOO anxious to sleep or function, then you also can't habituate. Nobody is implying to stay on these drugs for years on end at high dosages, that's what I understand is very commonplace in the US and I know benzo addiction is rampant over there but these drugs have a purpose you know, when used correctly i.e. regular and moderate dosages (let's say 0,5 mg of Xanax and 20mg Temazepam) the taper should be fast and relatively painless. Taking excess dosages of let's say 3 mg - 6 mg Xanax or equivalent daily for YEARS yes that is a problem but I don't think anybody is suggesting that. That being said because of my own experience with marihuana I would highly suggest anyone not to start smoking it because (especially the high grade Dutch stuff) unlike what many suggest it is very much addictive and potentially has very severe impacts on ones (mental) health (not to mention the chemicals they use to grow it), does that mean there is no place for marihuana use, recreationally or therapeutically? No of course it doesn't, drugs (whatever kind) should be used with caution and as intended.

 

Just wanted to add this psychiatrist seemed very strict compared to my previous one. He did a blood and urine test for street drugs which I've never taken before. The test was negative. He said he wouldn't see me anymore unless I went to inpatient first. I think he thought I was going to end up on the other side of the grass.

 

You got tinnitus from Zolpidem?

 

Probably noise exposure and airplane barotrauma. Some people on this forum claim to have gotten tinnitus from Benzo or Z-drug withdrawal. I’m not sure on that but it’s possible.