That Old Saying - Loss Comes in Threes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by calin, Aug 11, 2013.

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    1. calin
      Inspired

      calin Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct 2011
      I just experienced that old saying that loss comes in threes. Anybody else have that experience?

      I haven't dropped in for some time as my attention has been elsewhere. Emotionally I was bombarded with worry, heartbreak and sadness. We all have that to live through, so I am not unique in that area.

      In mid June my 11 month old kitty went missing. Broke my heart. I even had a pet communicator hired to see if she could communicate with missing kitty. $150 .... that is another discussion entirely! ;)

      Weeks later my dog died of cancer - July 21. She died at home 15 minutes before she was going to be put to sleep as I couldn't bear the pain she was in. She was diagnosed the week before with leukemia which I sensed two months before. Maybe my kitty also sensed that my dog was dying as my kitty was attached to the dog. My dog was getting cataracts and had physical issues since Jan 1 of this year. She was older and the aging issues in dogs are common and normal... I just didn't expect it as she was full of life until her remaining months.

      4 days later my sister (younger) died of lung cancer. She lived months longer than they predicted and the docs were amazed. Her cancer never spread to the brain etc and was just in her lungs. It could have been the salvestrols she was taking, but then she smoked all the way up to her death.... well... not the last day. Salvestrols won't work to kill cancer if it is in your lungs due to the carbon monoxide. She knew that. The dandelion tea I had her drink helped extend her life as well in that the cancer really never spread.

      The chemo ruined her immune system and she regretted doing it. She said she would not advise it to anyone. My sister was only about 75 pounds at the end as the nausea never went away so she could eat and build up her system. She also didn't want to fight the inevitable as she was told she was terminal and she had no real hope except for me trying to keep her alive. I gave up a few weeks before she died. I could see that her body just wouldn't recover from the ravages of chemo.

      I was with her when she died and made sure her three daughters were there as well. All of the nursing staff came in to say they loved her during her last hour. They said she could hear as that is the last "physical sense" that one keeps. So, she was sent off to her journey with sentiments of love and caring.

      I knew she was not going to make it and the end was near when she asked me who the people were that were not visible (physically present) in her room. I had that happen when another friend was dying of cancer a few years back. She only saw them when I was present the last day or two.When I came into the room to visit a couple hours before she died, she was reaching out her skinny arms and leaning forward to the invisible person she saw before when I was with her the day before. Her last words were that she couldn't take it any more and said... "No more questions please".

      Last year in July she tried to overdose (with very detailed suicide letters and plans) and expressed she just wanted to go home. Well, now she is. I actually saved her life at that time (found her overdosed) and expressed to her days later in the hospital that this was her second chance to make it right with her daughters. There were issues with them and her. I think she did the best she could to do just that for this past year.

      The night she died I had a lucid dream (never had one before) of her and it was comforting. She was letting me know she was just fine and all was well where she was. I can describe in detail what she was wearing and everything about her very clearly. The next night just before getting into a deep sleep, I felt a very real sense that a hand was touching my back. When I rolled over to see... of course no one was there. I smiled and felt it was my sis letting me know she was moving on and a goodby.

      I haven't been able to talk about my experiences with anyone until just now. I even keep my sister's ashes with me at work as it is comforting. Yes, I am odd! I am getting back to normalcy and life does move along. I still miss my kitty, my dog and my sis.....Can't talk anymore about this.... Sad again...
       
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    2. Molan
      No Mood

      Molan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2005
      Oh Calin I'm so sorry to hear what you have gone through recently. That is just awful for anyone to have to endure. Wish I could say something more to help but know we are here for you on TT.

      My thoughts are with you
       
    3. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Calin,
      I'm so sorry for your three losses, and want to let you know that we are here for you! I am glad that you posted to let us know; I'm sure that was very hard to do.

      Take care, lovely lady, and please know that your friends at Tinnus Talk are here for you.

      Blessings and hugs,
      Karen
       
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    4. Cher69
      Fine

      Cher69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      York, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      20/5/2013
      Such a sad time sending you a virtual <<<<<hug >>>>>> I'm sure you are right and the feeling you had of a hand on your back was your sister trying to tell you she is safe pain free and also looking after your dear pets together they have their angel wings. Nothing we can say can help your sadness right now but we are thinking about you and sending you our caring thoughts xx
       
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    5. Markku
      Inspired

      Markku Director Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing
      So sorry to hear that calin.

      I'm at a loss for words. This is just such tragic news.

      You were such a dedicated sister to her.

      Wishing you peace as you grieve this loss,
      Markku
       
    6. Miss lavender

      Miss lavender Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/01/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Virus
      So sorry to hear this news. May you have the strengh to go forward and remember all the beautiful things about these three souls. Wishing you only the very best for the coming days.
       
    7. Hudson
      Cowboy

      Hudson Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      Calin,

      I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I am hurt every time the world loses someone, as it has lost a very unique individual. I lost my father and grandfather last year. It was a very hard year for me. However, it has helped me in the sense that I understand the importance of not getting caught up in worrying about tinnitus too much. Life is too short and precious. My prayers go out to you and your family.
       
    8. LadyDi
      Busy

      LadyDi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barotrauma/airplane
      Dear Calin, I can imagine how hard it must be to deal with not one but three very difficult losses in such a short time. I am touched that you would trust us enough here to share this. It is a powerful and deeply spiritual (yet hard) thing to do, to stay with those you love as they prepare to cross over. They were blessed and comforted, I am sure, by your presence.

      I also had a very comforting and vivid dream right after my father died -- sadly, of a sudden heart attack, so none of us were with him in that moment. But he came to me in this dream shortly afterwards, explained I must go on while he he went elsewhere, but we would catch up with each other eventually. I often sense his presence when I look at the sky on a beautiful day.

      Peace and blessings to you.
       
    9. yonkapin

      yonkapin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Melbourne, Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      March 2012
      So sorry to hear. :(

      I have had a somewhat similar experience in that I've lost two of my dogs in the past couple years and had my father diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer mid-2011. I was his primary carer while he was recieving treatment and have to say that chemotherapy is some absolutely nasty business. He unfortunately passed away last August, it's actually coming up to the first year anniversy of his death next week.

      Again, sorry for your loss, I hope things take a turn for the better real soon!
       
    10. Miss lavender

      Miss lavender Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/01/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Virus
      Sorry about your Dad. I hope his one year anniversary only reminds you of the good times. May you have the strength to keep moving forward. I am sure he would have wanted this.

      All the best ML.
       
    11. mick

      mick Member Benefactor

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2012
      @calin,

      I had not seen any posts from you in a while and wondered what happened to you. Sorry for your loss. Take care.

      mick
       
    12. Sherri786
      Dreaming

      Sherri786 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      Dear Calin sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing with us. may God give you the strength to cope with it. Take care of yourself. Xoxo
       
    13. jazz
      No Mood

      jazz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      eardrum rupture from virus; barotrauma from ETD
      Calin,

      I'm so sorry about your losses. I know you are a loving sister and a caring "mom" to your fur kids. I've also lost family members and fur kids over the years, but, as they say: "Grief is the price we pay for love." Sad, but true.

      Of course, you'll always have your memories....

      Take care and hugs,

      jazz
       
    14. DezDog
      Angry

      DezDog Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2009
      Calin, just seen this. Very sorry to hear of your loss. DD
       
    15. Danny
      Fine

      Danny Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Near Toronto Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Sorry for your loss.
      Danny
       

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