Tinnitus and Then That Other Thing

[RicoS]

Hi just some complaining from my part and perhaps you feel the same and can relate to it.
We all got T around here and just when I can accept it (with a little bit of H) there is another thing coming up.

I went to the dentist last week and now the whole left side of my face feels swolen. It's just like T ....it never stops I feel it everywhere and it distracts me at work. I will go back to the dentist today , but for some reason I do not deal with it well. It's like ....."Good I can handle T now better, but nothing else must come up or I feel unstable again"

If I had this without T...ok no problem, but for some reason.... everything that adds up to my T is a big problem right away. Because it's hard to find rest with T, but if something else adds up to it, it's even harder to find a little bit of rest.

It's not that my face hurts but it feels swolen .... but I spear you the details.... the point is that everything negative that adds-up to T feel like a big problem right away when normaly this would be something to sit out or is easy to deal with.

How are you dealing with things that add-up to your T...does it also feel like it's harder to deal with than without T?

 

[Larry OT]

Everything is harder to deal with T. It's taken the wind out of me and when more problems arise, I manage to solve but it takes a lot of energy.
Sometimes it's a good distraction, if T doesn't get too much in the way.

Sorry about your tooth problem!

 

[Fa82]

It's far far harder to get through things with T, that's for sure. And when I have bad days it takes so much damn effort to hold my nerve against it.

People without T can't understand how it makes life so heavy. If you're having a sucky day then it compounds this stuff you have to live with tenfold. Everything that could possibly go wrong does meanwhile T keeps going and goin'...Subsequently, any attempts to 'hey, why don't you just ignore it.' when it's bad feels like a losing game - and in the back of your mind you know it is! No amount of licking your wounds, cursing, or recreation can mask it. Fatigue, tension and feeling pissed off seem to follow you the all day through. That is how it feels. Yeah, it's no fun and I think we all got a dose of bitterness when it came to our door It's like a never-ending challenge to keep it in its place whilst reluctantly giving it the acknowledgement it has on our lives.

Somehow, I find myself returning to this whole concept of 'acceptance.' It's supposed to be the first step on the 'way,' right? But I'm beginning to think that it might be the first step AND the last. I prolly never will get into the 'habit' of having a piercing eeeeee over everything I hear from my gf's voice, to the city's din but I can learn to accept that what's happened has happened. And absolutely nothing, including my tears, can take it away - its part of my eternal destiny. I can learn to live with it peaceably or loathe it and let it ruin me. Either way I can't let myself down, or for that matter the meaning of life universal. T tries to get you that way and I'm not gonna let it do that to me. For me, keeping a steady gaze on my own death keeps things in perspective when all things and T make a bad day worse. I exercise a lot, keep in touch with my family, stay curious about things, etc. I look like I cope but inside I do sometimes feel like I'm coming undone...whatayagonna do, you know? It's not easy with T.

Keep punchin' Rico. It might try to ride your day sometimes but it can't rule you. Love, compassion and the truth are a lot stronger. Remember that.