Tinnitus Impacting Relationships?

Discussion in 'Support' started by BobDigi, Oct 17, 2018.

    1. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      So I'm an almost 40-year-old gamer. I know, but it's a hobby and i enjoy it.

      For the last few years I have played Xbox with a friend most evenings.

      We get on, we make each other laugh, and it's a social, as well as fun thing to do.

      We talk through a headset.

      However I'm 10 days into a loud spike. And I refuse to do anything that may damage my ears while something odd is going on with my ears. I'm sure having a headset on low isn't going to cause any damage.

      But until things (hopefully they will) settle down I'm being overly cautious.

      He knows I have tinnitus and I've explained why I won't be on for a while.

      A few days was fine, then he began moaning about it via texts. One of them basically said "why did I waste £80 on Forza if we're not gonna play it?"

      I'm sure if he spent 1 hour with my tinnitus he'd realize why. But what a prick.

      Now I feel somewhat resentful towards him for acting a victim when I'm the one who feels like I've got a train screeching to a stop 24-7.

      Has anyone had trouble with a relationship because of their own tinnitus?
      Surely we have a right to put our own health before someone else's needs?
       
    2. coffee_girl
      Innocent

      coffee_girl Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      All my life, but got worse 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced / Concert
      Never feel guilty for needing to protect your ears, if I gave in every time my parents took me to a loud restaurant despite knowing that I have tinnitus... Then they would've never known how seriously it impacts me. I am a gamer too and honestly it sucks not being able to use headphones but better to be safe than deal with tinnitus for life later.
       
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    3. Red
      Crappy

      Red Member

      Location:
      Northeast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure (Headphones)
      He doesn't get it. Try to forgive him. You did the right thing. That phrase doesn't sound like he's trying to blame you or make himself the victim but rather of course he wants to play with you! He's frustrated because he likes playing with you.
       
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    4. MidnightOilAudio
      Ape-like

      MidnightOilAudio Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
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    5. SugarMagnolia
      Jaded

      SugarMagnolia Member Benefactor

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Can you get an external microphone and speakers? I have external speakers attached to my computer so I can play music while I work. The sound is good.
       
    6. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      You are wrong thinking that using your headset at low volume will not make your tinnitus spike or increasingly get worse. I assure you that it will. If not now then later if you persist using it. Anyone whose tinnitus was caused by "loud noise" noise trauma, and uses any type of headphones or headset, risks making their tinnitus progressively worse over time.

      Michael

      Headphones and Tinnitus.

      The views on whether a person with tinnitus should listen to music through headphones are controversial. Some people show no adverse affects while others do even when the volume level is kept low.
      We are all different so the only way a one can know is to experiment for themselves if they want to. In my opinion, when the tinnitus was caused by exposure to loud noise/music and it has become intrusive - by this I mean a person having to seek help at ENT, then they shouldn’t listen to music through headphones no matter how low the volume is set.

      Most music has syncopation throughout its frequency range, so it’s constantly changing in pitch, rhythm and timbre. The beat of the music and volume can also change while listening. This evokes pleasure and can stir our emotions. This happens whether we listen to music loud or soft, although certain types of music does sound better played at a higher volume than others, and vice versa.

      Once the Cochlea in the inner ear becomes affected by noise exposure, it is much more sensitive to sound. This is one of the reasons hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) is often experienced with noise-induced tinnitus. The wearing of WNGs (white noise generators) as part of TRT treatment can often cure the condition or reduce its symptoms. Someone that already has a sensitive auditory system due to noise-induced tinnitus and listens to music through headphones at a low volume, risks irritating the Cochlea further, which can make the tinnitus louder and more intrusive.

      In my opinion, it can be misleading when some health care professionals tell tinnitus patients, listening to music through headphones is fine as long as long as the volume is kept low. These health professionals mean well and know a lot about the anatomy of the ear and therefore, it is not my intention to try and undermine their abilities or expertise. However, It must be said, that many of them have never experienced intrusive tinnitus and therefore don’t know much about. I have spoken to people and corresponded with them by email and at Internet forums, complaining their tinnitus has become worse after listening to music through headphones even though the volume was kept low. My advice to anyone that has tinnitus that was caused by exposure to loud noise is not to listen to music through headphones, as the auditory system is more sensitive.

      White noise generators.
      Some may question the use white noise generators and in-ear types that emit white noise directly into the ear. White noise generators don’t usually irritate the auditory system due to the volume being kept low and its frequency range remains constant, so there is no syncopation within it unlike music.

      I believe someone that has noise induced tinnitus and uses earbuds to listen to music, is putting themselves at even greater risk of making the tinnitus worse. Earbuds are inserted into the ear canal which is around 1 inch in length, therefore they are very close to the eardrum.

      Behind the ear (BTE) white noise generators, have a "thin tube" that wraps around the ear and is inserted in the ear canal. At the end of this tube there is an opening - a very "small" hole which the white noise emits and is sent towards the eardrum and inner ear. Similarly, in-ear white noise generators also have a small opening which the white noise is emitted. Headphones and earbuds are different. They use a large speaker or diaphragm in comparison to deliver sound. Playing white noise through them cannot easily be fine tuned as the WNG and can cause irritation to the ear and auditory system. Therefore, it' possible to make the tinnitus worse.

      Michael
       
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    7. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      I think you are both right. Although Coffee Girl, yesterday i figured out how to play the other person's voice through the TV, and then just using the mic on the headset to communicate back. It's not ideal, but it works quite well.
      Michael, do you think just having the other persons voice through the headset at a very low volume could cause a problem? I don't have hypersensitivity?
       
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    8. Nanny chocolate

      Nanny chocolate Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Devon
      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unbelievable caused by audiologist!
      A close relative said about my very intrusive T “Well, it cant get any worse can it!”.
      Oh, those who don’t have it badly just don’t have any understanding at all.
      It’s you that has to live with your T so do what feels right for you.
      Eve
      @BobDigi
       
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    9. Deamon22

      Deamon22 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Trauma/Cold?
      @BobDigi i´m sorry, thats a shame that after knowing you for years he reacts like this. But yea, probably he just has no idea what it means to have tinnitus. I am also a gamer so i understand you completely. I wish you all the best and that you spikes subsides soon:)
       
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    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      That's how i feel. If it do something stupid and my t gets Any worse, it's me that has to live with it, not someone else!
       
    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
       
    12. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      To be honest he's not particularly empathetic to anyone over anything. And he's pretty selfish. Which is usually fine, we aren't close or anything. We just enjoy gaming and having a laugh together. But hey, if I can't game with him anymore because of how he's being about it, I'll just game on my own!
       
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    13. another sean
      Studious

      another sean Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Los Angeles
      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Long duration of low audio
      @BobDigi I play Forza 7 also (PC Anywhere) and it supports Microsofts built in Voice-to-Text feature. The only other game that supports it is Halo Wars 2. So all the voip chats from all the player appear as text on screen. To turn on Game Transcription, do the following:

      1. Press the Xbox button to open the guide, then select System > Settings > Ease of Access > Game transcription.
      2. To transcribe other players' voices into text, select Speech-to-text on.
      Now you'll be able to read everyones frustration when there is a 20 car crash pile up around turn 1 :LOL:

      P.S. what's a relationship? :ROFL:........:cry:
       
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