Tinnitus, The Way Some See It

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Tinnitus, the way some see it.

Mention tinnitus to a friend, relative or co-worker and you might be asked what is that? After explaining its symptoms you’re likely to hear, they’ve experienced it after a night clubbing but it always goes away. The more enlightened will say, they have it or know someone with the condition who’s learnt to live their life without any problems at all. Many people like to give the impression they are as informed and knowledgeable as the next person especially on health issues. Often quick to dismiss or downplay an ailment, as a minor because life is just too short and wonderful, to be bogged down with matters that bear little or no significance to them.

This cavalier approach to tinnitus can be difficult and at times frustrating for the newbie to comprehend, when they feel their whole life has been turned upside down and don’t know where to turn to for help. To be on the receiving end of such comments can make one think why bother to start such a conversation. I experienced this twenty three years ago when I first got tinnitus. Veterans and those seasoned to it are all too aware of the blatant disregard and lack of understanding that some people have towards tinnitus, because they have no idea how it can seriously affect a person’s life when it is severe.

Tinnitus is very common and many people are able to live their life doing everything that they want to without it causing too much of a problem. However, it comes in different forms and levels of severity and no two people will experience it the same. Only when it becomes severe and this level of intensity is sustained does it start to affect a person’s quality of life and their mental and emotional wellbeing. Under these circumstances a person will begin to understand how ruthless and unforgiving tinnitus can be.

Unfortunately, the attitudes of some people I have described above are not unique to those with very mild tinnitus or anyone that has had it fleetingly after a night clubbing. Some people at tinnitus forums that once had it severe and habituated after a few months, are full of such arrogance it’s beyond belief and say, tinnitus is nothing everyone can habituate. Is it any wonder then some health professionals who may not say it but one might feel they have this approach.

Michael

 

Sorry to be dismissive of your post Michael. I find it rather odd. Not all of it. Yes, society at large is 'ignorant'. In fact, people in general are ignorant about just about anything they aren't focused on. I don't have a high level of respect for many sorry. I find your post for example to be wrong. I don't want to call you ignorant.

You wrote:
Some people at tinnitus forums that once had it severe and habituated after a few months, are full of such arrogance it’s beyond belief and say, tinnitus is nothing everyone can habituate. Is it any wonder then some health professionals who may not say it but one might feel they have this approach.

To me, above is absurd. I find people that have a problem with the concept of arrogance to be insecure. Why should a person's arrogance bother you? People are ignorant. Ignorant people can be arrogant.

I don't know many people like you describe. I have been on this forum a long time before I signed up and decided to participate. There are people here that know a fair amount about tinnitus. But tinnitus by its essence is humbling. Not only inability to control it but understand its root cause.

Yes, health professionals can be ignorant too. Profoundly ignorant. How many ENT's have cured tinnitus?...or even understand the severity of suffering of some people.

I sometimes even ask myself... I believe my tinnitus is pretty acute at times... is my tinnitus as bad as some? Just how bad do the people with acute tinnitus suffer? Are they worse than me? Mine is pretty loud at times.

So, I find your concept of arrogance to be ridiculous if not at least misguided. The world is full of ignorant people. It could be argued that scientists that study tinnitus are ignorant as well because they haven't solved it. I was personally ignorant of tinnitus my whole life. Ringing in the ears? How bad can that be?

But no, nobody, not even the most enlightened will ever understand the breadth of any adversity until they personally experience it. For those that have habituated to 'loud tinnitus' and say what's the big deal?....not many of them on the planet. A few perhaps. I haven't seen many of those people here. I see some anger and bewilderment. Some hopelessness and resignation. To me, all understandable. But to say they are arrogant, even if true, seems irrelevant. Who cares? The world is full of dumb people.

Most of us with tinnitus have profound respect for not only others with this affliction but for our own suffering.

Those are my thoughts.

 

@John Mahan

Of course you are entitled to your thoughts as I am.

I have had tinnitus a long time and visited various forums and corresponded with many people that share the views I have mentioned in my post. Someone that I was counselling around five years ago with tinnitus and was going through a particularly difficult time with it, telephoned me often because of the distress she was in. Her tinnitus was brought on by an ear infection. I assured her in time the tinnitus will reduce and likely go completely as is often the case with an ear infection. After three months the tinnitus began to subside and eventually went.

We have kept in contact and have become good friends. I recently mentioned to her, I know someone that has been going through a difficult time with tinnitus for over a year and is unable to work because of it. Her curt reply although not meant to be personal, was: "Tinnitus is nothing and really can't see what the problem is". A member in this forum told me her ENT doctor said: "What do you expect me to do about it I'm not god". These comments resulted in her bursting into tears.

I rest my case.
Michael

 

You have no case Michael. Sorry don't see it.

And I could really drill down on the psychology that drives your thinking as well, but not a good idea other than to push back on your opening post and again, your last post. I don’t want to disrupt the forum with this level of personal dissection. I suppose on some level this is why I reject your assertion. You criticize members of the community here when they have suffered and as a result may not be perfectly objective. To me, it just makes plain sense this disorder will take its toll on the strongest among us. So forgive me, again...I find your ‘case’ to be nonsense.

And yes, we each are entitled to our opinion…particularly in lieu of scientific data...for example I asked you for on your far fetched assertion about headphone usage and NIT. You couldn't produce it. Some believe the earth is flat and we didn't make it to the moon either.

Extrapolation about tinnitus and the people that have it is as diverse as the day is long. How do we spend our time on the forum? Searching for homebrew solutions with very few answers and little help. Pretty pathetic really. Yes we are and wear the mantle proudly. We have no choice. No we can't be 100% objective about this unwelcome intruder.

So even though I complete disagree with your thoughts on tinnitus…from headphone usage to your post today, I don’t think you are wrong about everything. I think you had good advice to me for example about seeing an audiologist…though I am really doubting the benefit at this point now that I have visited twice. But you don’t know until you know. Certainly wasn’t bad advice and more data though maybe not helpful, is at least more informative.

I do want to touch on a positive element of your character however. Yes, you are thin skinned and easily insulted because you believe you deserve some exalted status for enduring tinnitus so long and you believe you really understand it when very few actually do. A positive is your empathy Michael. You have suffered greatly and you feel for others enduring the same. As a result you try to help others. Whether you give good advice or not which is debatable because nobody has complete dominion on the truth.

Just being there for others that suffer is a big deal. Caring. To listen and provide comfort, not to mention perhaps the biggest thing, you have survived Michael and you share your strategies for how and why you are still standing.
To me, this makes you a good person.

 

That is your choice.

Michael

 

Since I got sick, I stopped liking people.
What is the point of establishing relationships with them when they disappoint you badly when you are sick? My perception of the environment has changed forever. Even if I recover, trust will not come back.

 

Any major obstacle that we face in life can turn us in either ways. We can become humble and thankful for being able to deal with it and get through it or it can make us bitter. I chose to be bitter early on in my tinnitus journey and it DID not help with anything. Being humble, no matter how mild or severe the tinnitus is....is much better.

No one likes tinnitus, it has affected our lives, but being resistant towards it will NOT do anyone good. I been on both sides.....

 

I think all Michael is saying is, just remember to be kind before you post. No need to start any dissection games. We're all at different stages in our journey, and if we can't find understanding and support here, then where can we?

 

You are very kind @Mister Muso and thank you. Please be assured I know what is going on here and it's been quite amusing reading some of the comments in this thread.

Take care
Michael

 

It is good to see you @fishbone and I hope you are keeping well.

Michael

 

I understand where you are coming from @KotaDomowa and hope you start to feel better soon.
Whenever you have time and if you want to, please send me a PM giving details of your tinnitus and how it affects you and what treatment if any you have had.

All the best
Michael

 

@Michael Leigh - thank you so much

 

You are welcome...
Michael

 

Hi @Michael Leigh -- I'm continually "surprised", sometimes "amazed", and at times "appalled" by some of what I read in the "success" stories that are shared here on the forum. A common refrain goes something like: "It got better for me, I can assure you (guarantee?) it will either go away or get better for you" as well. -- Hmmm, and just how exactly do they know that???

Though I often experience some degree of "cringe", I've come to believe that most of the people who write these things are actually well-intentioned. They want to try to share some positivity, or provide encouragement, or in some way help others on this forum see a way out, or somehow gain a confidence they can learn to cope or habituate.

While I often don't like their choice of words, I usually silently applaud them for doing what they think is right. Is there a touch of arrogance in some of these comments? I would say there is, but I think for the most part, this arrogance pales in comparison to their good intentions of doing what they can to share some of the optimism they have found for themselves. -- From what I've seen, unbounded arrogance is actually pretty rare on this forum.

Kind of from a bigger picture perspective however, it seems we all have our own unique blind spots, which unfortunately are usually "blind" to ourselves. As I go through life, I try to do my best to overlook others' blindspots, and hope they'll do their best to overlook mine.

 

And I am saying it isn't completely realistic for the reasons I explained. Fishbone confirmed it. Tinnitus robs people of their objectivity...certainly short term. There are extraordinary people like Glynis who rise above considering she has had major medical challenges associated with their tinnitus. She is an exceptional person perhaps we can all agree.

As Fishbone stated, humility in the face of tinnitus is likely more a destination. Who doesn't pass through anger along the way. Why me? A bad roll of the dice? Worse? People I have met crippled in car crashes. Humility to me...versus arrogance...less ego in other words...comes through acknowledgement there are worse things that can happen to us and we really have very little control over our lives and health all said.

People have all different kinds of personality traits. Some are arrogant. Some are comical. Some believe headphones are bad and unicorns with inherit the earth....sorry to bring up Michael again.

Arrogance is really more to be laughed at than acknowledged as any kind of an affront.

In an ideal world, yes, we should all be objective in spite of bad stuff happening to ourselves and those we care about but that is more a fairy tale. Honestly, I give people and how they come off on a message board such as this...people that have suffered greatly a lot of latitude is the point....except for Michael because he thinks headphones are bad.

 

Well said Lane.

 

In life there are many different types of people and the many expectations that we can have or not have. You have to place each of them in their own scopes. There will be those that will not make much of a difference in our lives whether we are sick or not.

There will be those that still will not care or help out even though we face hardships. I know this one quite too well and at first It would upset me. I firmly believe in the motto - I/YOU/WE are truly responsible for our own lives, we take the action to see the changes we like to see...No one else will take those actions for us. I have been ill at times and I had no energy at all and had no food. I either went to the market and bought food (was very dizzy and ill when going) or I'd starve and pass out. I have no choice but to take care of me, I have no one else to do it for me or my pets.

Now, this is not what I like and It's not how I view life (I help people in the real world...as I do on this site). It is what -it is, I do what I can to make my life better. It's hell at times, but it's the one life that I have.

I don't get disappointed anymore, because I do NOT place expectations on anyone else or anything else but ME! I expect myself to be in the best shape physically and mentally and tackle my daily grinds!

The last group of people are those that do listen and do care. For me there have been a few of them. cherish these people and thank them for making a difference....whether we are feeling well or not.

Life is a huge jigsaw puzzle and it takes daily action/motivation to sometimes make sense of it!

 

Hopefully this will put an end to the matter and you won't have to be sorry for bringing up my name again. With respect, after reading your previous posts and on this thread, it is abundantly clear to me that you have no idea or conception of what "Noise induced tinnitus" is. To your credit I believe you have tinnitus but it is nowhere severe as I or the majority of the people in this forum endure.


Good day and I wish you well.

Michael

 

don't be sorry @John Mahan , I think you're the smartest poster in this thread, among the ones I can read, anyway :-p

 

And the following is a centerpiece of your psyche Michael. Sorry to send you back to Psych 101. Apparently not your strongest subject. Your sophomoric musings berating others and me which are effectively put downs because you feel threatened needlessly.
This is your playbook....

Psychological projection is a defence mechanism in which the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.[1] For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.

 

Thanks brother. Great respect for you as well and all the help you provide on the forum. I will preface my, I am sorry.
I am sorry these conversations are even necessary. I am sorry Michael posted his ill begotten misguided sweeping accusations about people he doesn't really know.

 

I hear you @Lane and agree with you.

 

Hey man, it's a free country and an open internet, people can say whatever they want Some of my greatest entertainment comes from reading utter insanity on the internet.

 

Good point....lol.

 

But headphones are bad! For some of us at least.

I didn't enjoy hearing it from @Michael Leigh in my early days on this forum, but he was spot on.

 

The truth about headphones and "Noise induced tinnitus" is not nice to hear @Mister Muso but those that have NIT and use headphones do so at their peril. If the tinnitus should increase it is unlikely to reduce to its previous basline level. All those people advocating to use headphones, will not be there to help when you're in distress and cannot cope!

Michael

 

You do a great disservice Michael. Increasing tinnitus with NIT isn't due to headphone use. Its due to an interaction between sunglasses wearers interacting with wearing tight shoes. This is what spikes T with NIT, not headphones.
You need to control your study a bit more carefully. You know, the study you can't produce. The study you made up and no scientific journal has posted even though headphone wearing at high volume is known to destroy hearing...as is any high volume source. The study you pulled from your ### because people with NIT and spiking tinnitus happened to be headphone wearers...were likely cranking up the volume too high. Tinnitus spikes all the time with NIT with headphones or no headphones...eating grasshoppers or skate boarding.

I asked for the headphone study you couldn't produce. I expect the sunglasses with tight shoe study report to be on my desk promptly 8am tomorrow morning. So you have your work cut out. On second thought. No you don't. Just make it up like your headphone fantasy.

 

@John Mahan You should just stop now. In my opinion of course.

 

@John Mahan

You are beginning to get on my nerves. If you continue to provoke me then I will place you on "ignore" as I have done with other irritants in this forum. I am here to help people.

Goodbye.
Michael

 

Other irritants Michael? You have others that disagree with your mythology? Do tell. Shocker I say. The inhumanity.
Really surprising your have 'other irritants' on your list. I am sure they derive great delight.
If asking me, I am kind of in favor of you putting me on your ignore list. That is my vote. Why? Because I don't have to endure your nonsensical replies. I can unilaterally debunk what you post on the forum without your non substantive push back. I like the idea.

Look at it as win/win. Go for it!