VERY Tentative Success Story

Hi Guys!

As many of you know I have struggled with tinnitus greatly. While this is a success story I still have my battles with T so in no means am I 100% yet but I know now that I will get there. I would say with T alone I am at 80% back to normal.

What the T did however was make me realize that anxiety in general has really messed me up so that part I am battling but again the T itself isn't the focal point.

I got T 2/1 from an ear infection. I wasn't at all bothered by it at first (although of course the noise bothered me but I wasn't fearful at that point yet) as I knew it was common with an ear infection UNTIL I googled it. That set off complete panic. My T is not for the most part super loud but it is high pitch so it cuts through most masking at night and I FEEL it which is why my hearing aides with maskers don't always work.

I went through the whole panic phase with feelings of suicidal tendencies, no sleep, I took a week off work (I work from home so I can say I would not have a job right now if I had to be in an office every day because of lack of sleep).

Whenever I felt I was making a step forward something would happen and I would go right back into panic mode (ear infection with T a few days in my other ear, that went away, being told I have to get my wisdom tooth out).

Right now 4 months in here is where I am at:

1: T has either REALLY gone down in volume or I have habituated greatly. I think the volume has gone down because my perception isn't in freak out mode.
2: I know I can live a happy life with this. Again I am not 100% there yet and I will explain why in a minute.
3: For the most part the noise doesn't bother me. Right now I am at the place that FEAR that the noise will get louder is the biggest thing but I can tell you newbies you DO get used to the noise and once you stop associating it with fear it gets much better.
4: I have done a little TRT and I know some people don't really believe in it but I do. T is terrible but our hyper focus on it makes it so much worse and I promise, anxiety and focus on it MAKES IT LOUDER.
5: I even have a little bit of H but I know that much more manageable than the T.
6: The place I check my T is in one of our little bathrooms and I shut all the doors. I (I know silly) have sent 4 people in that bathroom and 3 out of 4 ALL HEAR RINGING (it's not an external noise in the house I already checked).

Thing is before T we didn't really do these things, checking, listening, monitoring the noise so we don't really know how bad it was before. I am not entirely sure my T wasn't there before this ear infection.

People have said on here to me that my T is not that loud and that I shouldn't be posting. It still greatly bothered me as I literally could not sleep because the pitch went through every single masking at night.

Right now I still sleep with my air conditioning on and a white noise machine. I have soft headband headphones that I wear only because now I think I'm used to it not that I actually NEED it.

I did use some xanax in the beginning. Not every day and now I will take 1/2 of one if I wake up in the middle of the night about 1-2 x a week. It isn't so much the T that I am doing that it is anxiety in general.

I am a VERY VERY anxious person and my mind always goes to worst case scenario so I am working on that.

 

it's normal that the brain thinks about worst case scenarios. this is nothing else than a protective function.
the problem here is your anxiety. if you are scared of something you automatically steer to it.

what is the best way to get over anxiety? the best way out of anxiety is always though.
you don't need xanax or another stuff. all you need is your mind. you need to trust yourself.


you don't need to be scared, hoper is taking care of you

 

@Marie79 when i visit LA, we should go to the HOLLYWOOD letters in LA to change the letters to ,,DOLLYHOOD''

 

I would love to!!

 

also we could go to the walk of fame and let us make a star at the bottom ,,hoper+marie79''

 

With panic attacks and anxiety high on the agenda I sympathise (and can relate to) - what TRT have you used?

I see your words.. "People have said on here to me that my T is not that loud and that I shouldn't be posting" how can others determine how loud it is? Surely it is all down to the individual? For me... to now have a noise - sometimes 24 hours a day... it gets me down...

 

You're lucky that your main problem is the anxiety and not the T. It's very difficult for anyone with severe T to be sympathetic to someone freaking out over mild T, but the truth is that a person has no control over the way their brain is wired. When the limbic system takes over, it can cause incredible distress regardless of volume or intrusiveness.

Something has obviously "clicked" with you right away in the TRT program, because generally speaking that's a 6-months to 2-years program involving intense counseling and masking therapy.

I'm going to suggest, and I can't emphasize this enough, please stop listening for your T and monitoring it. That's just telling your brain that it's an important sound and you want to hear it. There are people who never notice their T until something reminds them of it, and then - boom! - they hear it. You wouldn't step on a scale 10 times a day to check what you weigh after you've already reached your desired weight, so don't listen for your T.