How to Deal with Guilt and Self-Hate If You Caused Your Own Tinnitus and/or Hyperacusis?
It’s really hard, I’ve found CBT/talk therapy helpful. In my case what I’ve had to come to terms with is that my “noise accident” was really me having my boundaries on loud music completely disrespected in a borderline emotionally abusive relationship.

Know that you really didn’t know what you were getting into and you were doing your best to enjoy life. People make mistakes every day, and you must be gentle on yourself. Could you imagine approaching a member of this forum and blaming them for being ignorant and careless about noise or medication and brushing them off as authors of their own demise? I think not, and you are best to pay yourself the same courtesy.