Pili jones

Suffer of (some brutal) panic attacs, claustrophobia, vertigo, agoraphobia BUT easy going, witty, loving.
Since my tinnitus I have rediscover my family as my first support.
I have three grown up daughters, 28, 26 and 17. My partner of nearly 30 years is my angel. My prince.

I'm starting to try to come tu terms with the condition and I'm still terrify. I don't know the patterns and every time my T goes up my anxiety gets out of control and make all worst.
Is hell.
I don't know it it will ever go down.
If not I don't know how will I be able to live like this.
Now is one of those moments.
I think a lot in killing my self but I can't.
I have "discover" a new level of love in my family and I know I will destroy them if I'm not here for them and I love them.

What do I do.
I'm condemned to live a life I hate ?

Al what was important to me is not anymore.
The realisation of how happy I was is a torture.

I just want it to stop !!!!!

I need urgently medication for anxiety but living in Switzerland makes all so difficult.

I'm in total desperation.