:( Sorry, FGG. I really hope you get some sleep tonight and much needed rest. Not sleeping well, makes this burden so much harder. Try a nice hot bath tonight with some Epsom salts.
He means well but manifesting your own destiny is a religion to him. Now that I'm getting more symptoms, he sees it as "proof" that my suffering leads to more bad things happening. (2/3)
It makes me feel like I can't express pain to him anymore because he then says "don't think about it or you will manifest" and then gets very offended if I tell him that I don't subscribe to that idea. How do I broach this? I need all the support I can get frankly. (3/3).
It's tricky if he's your only in-person support. Honestly, a person who subscribes to such utter nonsense is the last one you should be seeking support from. I don't think you can change him unfortunately. I've know people like him...
@annV, I don't really have anyone else, at least in person. He is my reselling partner and lives here and my (local) friends have stopped coming around after a few years when they realized I couldn't be the same again.
I just want to convey that I'm not attacking his beliefs if i don't subscribe and it feels like victim blaming to put all of my situation on my "mindset."
From the Wiki page, it seems to run contrary to mindfulness, actually. Does he know it's considered pseudoscience?
Sadly, it almost always comes from a place of privilege and mixing up cause and effect. What happens when you show him that it's pseudoscience or show him the studies that accepting suffering and negative thoughts (mindfulness) has real proof behind it?
If I ever called it "pseudoscience", it would put a huge dent in our relationship. The closest i got was pointing out that you can't recover from quadriplegia with the Law of Attraction principles so why is ear stuff different? He said i was close minded and attacking his beliefs so I dropped it. 1/2
I can relate to this so much. Reason being, my problem is not stress, but stress almost undeniably played a role in developing the problem. I have had well-intentioned people hoping that an improved mindset could help the disease. It's tough and it certainly doesn't always come from a place of laziness or feeling like a burden, but a genuine concern.
I don't wish to burn your relationship to the ground or anything, but I do think he should be capable of evolving at least slightly, especially since your causes are from injuries like ototoxicity, EBV assaults, noises shot into the ear, etc. It seems pretty clear that you have a bunch of injuries, pretty independent of mindset. This is less complicated than the interplay between stress and immune function.
If he were discussing stress in the context of immune function it maybe wouldn't bug me as much as the idea of the universe manifesting thoughts into reality. From his pov, I have to fully believe my ears *are* normal and then they will be.
Also always wanted to say your posts challenged my sorry liberal arts ass to crack open the research papers. I seriously don't know how you science people grasp it all but thank god you do lol
@FGG That's just a whacky idea. I'm sure he's otherwise a great guy, but I'm not sure how to compromise on something so outlandish. It's kind of like victim-blaming 101, and he may not even be aware of it.
He's an otherwise great guy and literally the only one around but *very* emotionally invested in the Law of Attraction being reality. And I guess there are no magic words to compromise on this just like magic thoughts don't do anything either.
That "believe it and it WILL happen" is an AWFULLY damaging and dangerous idea. The anxiety it would create in already anxious mind is surely not something we should strive after.
How do he think people with panic attacks, will feel if they will be told: "if you think you'll die then that WILL happen" and if people dont get better then you can just shame people: "you just wont believe, you will get better, and thats why you have not gotten better"
I have personal experience with that mindset and its only been damaging to me and made my anxiety even worse and still do. It makes me scared of my thoughts, because Im afraid they'll create my reality. Thats not a good and healthy stradegy to change a mindset.
@FGG! I don't even know what to say except I'm sorry that your friend has such a flawed view on your situation. Whilst I believe in the power of positive thinking, it has it's limits. I like to keep an open mind but it is absurd to think that our thoughts control reality. Has he manifested his mansion yet? Life just is, IMHO. Not sure I believe in God, but I'll keep praying, can't hurt, right?
Comments on Profile Post by FGG