Hello,
I'm here to read about the stories of others, and I'll share my own story as well.
I've had tinnitus for almost 18 years. It resulted from a loud concert I attended without hearing protection in my early twenties. Like so many others, I'd never even heard of tinnitus until it became a reality in my life.
While I'd classify my tinnitus back then as somewhat mild now, I definitely didn't experience it that way at the time. It felt like my world had been turned upside down. Quiet places had once been safe havens, but I started avoiding them out of fear of experiencing my tinnitus in full force. The quiet at night also made me anxious, causing me to postpone, or even avoid, going to bed. Looking back, I think most of the discomfort came from the anxiety rather than the ringing itself. It was the thought that my life had changed permanently, that there was no escape, no off switch, and that it'd be something I'd live with until my final day. That belief greatly shaped my experience.
However, as bad as things felt during those days, my tinnitus wasn't truly inescapable. It was quiet enough to be drowned out by most daily sounds. Over time, I managed to create more tinnitus-free moments in my life. This involved avoiding anything I associated with it. I stopped going to concerts and didn't listen to loud music anymore. I found a lot of unexpected comfort in an ultrasonic insect repellent device that produced a continuous high-pitched tone similar to my tinnitus. I suspect I owe much of my habituation to it. I'm no expert, but I think the external sound, which didn't bother me at all, helped train my brain to stop perceiving a similar internal sound as a threat.
In addition, I developed habits that helped me cope with stress, including exercise, yoga, and meditation. I slowly began turning the anxiety into motivation to live my life in the best possible way, which helped shift my view of tinnitus from something negative to something that pushed me toward positive change. This may sound extreme, but it's true. Eventually, I came to see tinnitus as something that'd changed my life for the better. After about 5 years, I reached a point where I rarely perceived my tinnitus, even at night, and had to consciously focus on it to notice it at all.
Unfortunately, that situation belongs to the past. About 2 years ago, I was invited to a rock concert for a reunion with friends. It'd been so long since my last concert that I'd become complacent and didn't fully consider the risk. I also trusted a set of earplugs designed for professional musicians. Unfortunately, that turned out to be an error in judgment. During the concert, I noticed that one earplug didn't fit properly. I had to push it into my ear canal to keep it in place, but it likely didn't seal well enough to protect my hearing. The concert was also much louder than I'd expected, possibly causing hearing damage through bone conduction, something I only learned about afterward.
Whatever the case, when I stepped out of the venue into the quiet night, I was greeted by my new tinnitus. It was essentially a much louder and more aggressive version of the old one, noticeable without any effort. I immediately knew managing this would be a whole new challenge.
During the first year, the new tinnitus was reactive and pulsatile, especially in the ear that was likely exposed during the concert. Those symptoms have since calmed down, but my perception of the increased noise has remained and is now almost constant. Unfortunately, it can't be masked anymore by daily sounds or even by my special device, likely due to high frequency hearing loss. Sleep doesn't offer relief either, as the ringing wakes me most nights. I could go on, but you probably get the picture. Life's become much harder.
So how've I managed these past 2 years? There've been many feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and hopelessness. Those feelings will no doubt continue to come, but I try to focus on the positives whenever I can. From my earlier experience, I know how important the mental aspect is when managing tinnitus. You may not have control over your tinnitus, but you do have some control, even if limited, over your mindset.
I remind myself that the mild tinnitus I first experienced also felt impossible to live with, yet I eventually overcame it. While that situation was very different from the current one, it taught me that the mind's adaptable and capable of coping with some of the most difficult situations life can throw at us. Now in my 40s, I may never again reach a point where tinnitus doesn't affect my quality of life to some degree. Still, it isn't unrealistic to hope things may become much more manageable in the future. I hold on to that hope, for myself and for others dealing with this challenge.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long story. I hope some of it's been insightful or even helpful. Feel free to share your thoughts or ask any questions.
Take care,
Acweorna
I'm here to read about the stories of others, and I'll share my own story as well.
I've had tinnitus for almost 18 years. It resulted from a loud concert I attended without hearing protection in my early twenties. Like so many others, I'd never even heard of tinnitus until it became a reality in my life.
While I'd classify my tinnitus back then as somewhat mild now, I definitely didn't experience it that way at the time. It felt like my world had been turned upside down. Quiet places had once been safe havens, but I started avoiding them out of fear of experiencing my tinnitus in full force. The quiet at night also made me anxious, causing me to postpone, or even avoid, going to bed. Looking back, I think most of the discomfort came from the anxiety rather than the ringing itself. It was the thought that my life had changed permanently, that there was no escape, no off switch, and that it'd be something I'd live with until my final day. That belief greatly shaped my experience.
However, as bad as things felt during those days, my tinnitus wasn't truly inescapable. It was quiet enough to be drowned out by most daily sounds. Over time, I managed to create more tinnitus-free moments in my life. This involved avoiding anything I associated with it. I stopped going to concerts and didn't listen to loud music anymore. I found a lot of unexpected comfort in an ultrasonic insect repellent device that produced a continuous high-pitched tone similar to my tinnitus. I suspect I owe much of my habituation to it. I'm no expert, but I think the external sound, which didn't bother me at all, helped train my brain to stop perceiving a similar internal sound as a threat.
In addition, I developed habits that helped me cope with stress, including exercise, yoga, and meditation. I slowly began turning the anxiety into motivation to live my life in the best possible way, which helped shift my view of tinnitus from something negative to something that pushed me toward positive change. This may sound extreme, but it's true. Eventually, I came to see tinnitus as something that'd changed my life for the better. After about 5 years, I reached a point where I rarely perceived my tinnitus, even at night, and had to consciously focus on it to notice it at all.
Unfortunately, that situation belongs to the past. About 2 years ago, I was invited to a rock concert for a reunion with friends. It'd been so long since my last concert that I'd become complacent and didn't fully consider the risk. I also trusted a set of earplugs designed for professional musicians. Unfortunately, that turned out to be an error in judgment. During the concert, I noticed that one earplug didn't fit properly. I had to push it into my ear canal to keep it in place, but it likely didn't seal well enough to protect my hearing. The concert was also much louder than I'd expected, possibly causing hearing damage through bone conduction, something I only learned about afterward.
Whatever the case, when I stepped out of the venue into the quiet night, I was greeted by my new tinnitus. It was essentially a much louder and more aggressive version of the old one, noticeable without any effort. I immediately knew managing this would be a whole new challenge.
During the first year, the new tinnitus was reactive and pulsatile, especially in the ear that was likely exposed during the concert. Those symptoms have since calmed down, but my perception of the increased noise has remained and is now almost constant. Unfortunately, it can't be masked anymore by daily sounds or even by my special device, likely due to high frequency hearing loss. Sleep doesn't offer relief either, as the ringing wakes me most nights. I could go on, but you probably get the picture. Life's become much harder.
So how've I managed these past 2 years? There've been many feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and hopelessness. Those feelings will no doubt continue to come, but I try to focus on the positives whenever I can. From my earlier experience, I know how important the mental aspect is when managing tinnitus. You may not have control over your tinnitus, but you do have some control, even if limited, over your mindset.
I remind myself that the mild tinnitus I first experienced also felt impossible to live with, yet I eventually overcame it. While that situation was very different from the current one, it taught me that the mind's adaptable and capable of coping with some of the most difficult situations life can throw at us. Now in my 40s, I may never again reach a point where tinnitus doesn't affect my quality of life to some degree. Still, it isn't unrealistic to hope things may become much more manageable in the future. I hold on to that hope, for myself and for others dealing with this challenge.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long story. I hope some of it's been insightful or even helpful. Feel free to share your thoughts or ask any questions.
Take care,
Acweorna
