Hey There! Just Need Some Advice. Going Abroad for Five Months.

Hey there, my name is Sara, i am a 19 year italian girl and i've been suffering from tinnitus for nearly 4 years, since i was 16. I don't know the cause, or better, the doctors weren't able to discover it.
The first times, I went through very bad times. I suffered from depression and anxiety, very badly. I even had suicide thoughs, but i never done it, i was too afraid of taking my own life. (And now i'm glad i didn't do it!) My parents tried everything to help me, but as we know, there isn't a cure for tinnitus.. so i did a psychotherapy, and i can say that it literally saved my life. I helped my self with antidepressant (obviously prescribed), and, gradually, i came out from this dark and terrible period. This year i began university, i live in a house with other girls and i'm fine. I mean, i enjoy my life with them, i love what i study (psychology) and when i'm not at home with my parents i don't have the time to think about my tinnitus, so i'm fine!
Seeing that i was ok living outside my house, i wanted to ''give a shock'' to my life, so i decided to apply for a scholarship for Erasmus. Guess what? They took me! I won a scholarship for the next year, i am going to France for 5 month. I'm so excited, i WANT TO DO THIS, i want to be able to do this, do show to my own self that i'm strong, tinnitus cannot destroy my life again, i won't let it do it.
But, obviously, things can't always be good... i remember the first travel that i did with tinnitus. I was in Ireland with a friend of mine for two weeks, and during the first days, i had my first panic attacks (the beggining of everything... depression, anxiety.) I resisted there beacause i didn't want to let her alone in Ireland, but i felt so sick, my panic attacks were very bad and i missed my parents, i was only 17 years old...
Now the situation is completely changed, but, you know, i have to go away from home for 5 month, and i'm very scared. I'm scared beacause here, my parents know how i feel about my ringing, and during my bad days they always stay by mi side. In France, I will be alone. Or, better, without any old friend or relative who knows me properly. What if my tinnitus get worse? What if i'll get depressed again? I can't come back... it would be a failure too big... i want to do this and i want to enjoy it, i deserve it after all the pain i've been through. Have you got any advice for me?
Thank you very much for reading and answering if you do
I hug you. Sara

 

I can tell you that you should pursue your dreams, and should you need any help getting through any spikes that may happen, you can count on the community here to be an amazing support group. Everyone here has gone through similar rough patches and knows what its like so they make up the perfect support group

 

Hi Sarah. If it was the beginning of your T and anxiety it would be wiser not to leave for now, but after 4 years? You're a veteran, you know your enemy well and you have developed methods of taming it, I'm sure. After all, you're not leaving for South Africa, it's only a nearby country ! and even during these 5 months you will have holidays during which you'll be able to go back home, recharge batteries a bit. If you don't go, you will regret and that will make you sad, anxious, unhappy ( bad for T). I understand you wouldn't like to have to come back, just in case..but even so, don't believe it would be such a failure. It wouldn't. There are important things in life and primordial. Your well being is more important than failing school would be, but anyway, there's no reason why you should fail. You're just worried about a SLIGHT possibility. If you feel bad, you can always skype your parents ( I know it doesn't replace their presence, but will do for 5 months.) or you can come to this forum, support section )

 

@Sara Sorgi ... @Gosia made a number of very good points that I agree with. Additionally, you'll be so busy and that you will be distracted from dwelling on your T too much. That said, I also say, ..Go for it!.. and Good Luck!

 

I've already pursued you in my dreams!! Hahaha

 

There are treatments for tinnitus, such as trobalt for tinnitus and keppra for hyperacusis. If you did want to try them, go to Spain you can get them without a prescription. However look at the side-effects first and if your tinnitus is that bad and you want to kill yourself, I would go down that route, if you can't wait. If you can wait, there will be drug treatments for tinnitus, such as Autifony's new drug which is in phase 2 trials at the moment. One lady has had her tinnitus reduced by 75% on the trial. So maybe not a cure but a massive reduction is possible.

 

I agree with all these replies! Your a veteran. T is yours. It was an enemy but you tamed it. You control it! It does not control you! So persue your dreams! Nothing should stop you. Especially something youve known and lived with for years like myself. I can really compare to your story and let me tell you your story really lightened my day =)

 

@Danny Boy , she wrote : 'i came out from this dark and terrible period. '. She's dealing with it.

 

I know that. I'm just saying that, there will be treatments and if you get desperate there's a way.

 

Welcome Sara. I am for going on the trip like others suggested. It is an experience in life and an opportunity to experience new things. I had similar experience when young. I was to go to college but I suffered a panic attack episode before heading out to college. I was house bound for a while fearing going outside and suffer panic attacks when away from home. So I was very hesitant about the college. But I was going to Hawaii for college. Who can resist Paradise Hawaii? But how could I study if I could not leave home and I couldn't sleep most nights and had to depend on tranquilizers for my nerves? Finally, I told my mom and my friends to consider that I will have an extended vacation for a month or two in Hawaii and I might come back any time. I took enough drugs with me. I also told myself 'give me freedom or give me death'. I am going to pursue my dream of university study, heaven or hell. I remember shaking and perspiring cold sweat all along the plane ride. But I survived. The busy college life and the wonderful new environment kind of actually helped me heal my panic nerves. If really bad, I just took some meds. But I did it and I overcame the fear. I enjoyed my stay in Hawaii. Not just finished college, but graduated with first class honor (summa cum laude) and married my beautiful wife along the way. How I thank God that I didn't cave in to the fear. 'Face the Fear and do it anyway', and you won't regret.

So if fearing panic attack is the concern, then try this technique or method shared by a TT member RaZaH. It is highly recommended by him. If T acts up, like others said, you already know what it is. You are already a T veteran of sort and know what T is. It is just a sound and it won't kill you. You can always come to the forum for support. So just go and focus on the positivity and the excitement of the new experience.

Here is RaZaH's thread on how to overcome panic attack:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-panic-attack-miracle-cure.7057/

 

Hey Sara how are you,

You have already got plenty of good advise here, great and nice people on this forum. I would just like to add my part.

1) You are beggining university, as u mentioned. Great!, you are going to be ok. I got an engineering degree with Tinnitus by my side. Only 80 people got an opportunity to join my faculty generation, and from those only 18 made it to the end and got the degree. From those 18 i was one of the top scores. I'm not saying this just to showing off, im not like that, i just want to encourage all the people to pursue their professional dreams. It is possible instead of having T!

2) In 2013 I got an increase in my T, was so aweful. I used to travel alot, but when this permanent spike hits me, i was shocked. Anxiety, alot of depression. And then , the fears came in. First i was not able to go to my office, but i did later. But, work traveling, being far from home, alone, was a terrible fear for me. But you know what, you can't beat a fear if you dont confront it. I did my first travel, a 3 days business trip. And nothing happened. I did wonderfull, and that fulled me of courage, strenght and security. Now traveling and being alone is just piece of cake (the worst part is being far from my little boys and wife)

Go and pursue your dreams, confront your fears. With the paragraphs you have wrote here, you seem like a very brave girl, i'm sure you will be ok.

Go and live your life the fullest you can.

Best wishes.

 

Don't think it twice. Go to France!

 

Ciao @Sara Sorgi e benvenuta tra noi !

It seems that, after the initial shock, you have been able to deal with it well, and probably already habituated most of the times as you say so yourself..

So I don't see why you should not go for such a great adventure.. And a change of "air" would surely help you to forget even more about it..

Just bring some earplugs, masking sounds, natural supplements, protect your ears in noisy environments and enjoy your time !!

Like others have said, you can always Skype your family when you need to, and we will be here too to help you when feeling down..

It really is like a second family this place...

Take care of yourself and your ears !!

Lorenzo

 

Hey Sara, which city are you going to ? I currently live in France so i can give you some advice

 

I would get supply of nac and prednisone dose to be safe just in case if something would give me acoustic trauma.

 

Sara,

Like most have said, go for it! In a few years, when a cure comes around, you'll have your education finished, have a good profession an be glad you didn't let T, keep you from your dreams.

Good luck and God bless!

Sailboardman

 

Hello Sara, If I were you I would not let tinnitus rule my life. Pray and allow God to direct your
path. After battling tinnitus for about 4 years, I'm sure you have come to realize it to be more of a nuisance than anything else. It obviously is not taking our lives or we would be dead already. So do what some of us do, and pray and trust the Lord to help you with this affliction, I'm sure you know its not easy at times to live with tinnitus, but it is much better than the alternative, an early death. Over time I have seen that even when mine is loud it does not bother me as much as it previously did, they call this habituation.

 

What did you decide to do?

 

Hi Sara did you said something? I imagine to heard something but i was distracted by your beautiful blond hair

 

Good morning everyone!
I am so glad I wrote to you... You are a beautiful community, you helped me a lot!! I decided to go! I can't let it ruine my life... I just really can't. I will leave by the first of September, and then I promes to write you what's going on and how I feel. It would be a unsustainable failure deciding not to go. I want to do this, I really hope to be fine... But one question, some of you said 'in a few years a cure will probably be available' have we got some proof of it? Are some scientists experimenting something?
Thank you so much again. You're like a big family, it's true ❤️

 

Hi Danny! Thank You very much for your answer. I can wait, I've been waiting for so long... But I need to have some more information about that. Are you sure about that? Someone is working for us, to help us and let us free about tinnitus?

 

I'm going!! Read down there

 

Hey James! Thank you so much for your interest, I'm going to Angers! Where do you live in France??

 

No problem. It was a pleasure helping you.

 

First of all i have to say that my English is not really perfect, but i try so good as i can.
Sorry for my little Joke, i was trying to cheer you up a little bit and failed. i think you are not in te mood laughing because of your circumstances.
Well, i know exactly how you feel. At the Beginning of my Tinnitus i was so depressed and scared about my Future. I was in an English-Eveningschool wich i broke up because of my T. But i got used to it and i am happy again I continued my School and have the Final Exam in February 2016.
Tinnitus Research is going ahead and i am optimistic there will be a drug in the next decade to help us. But to be honest, no knows if there will be a effective Drug or not. No one knows how exactly produce the ringing in the Ear, at this Time. There are no official Results of Autifony. Trobalt is not a Drug you should take without agreement of a Specialist. (It has strong side Effects)
If you want to hear my Advice: do not think about your T and do not be scared. Your Body has an enormous healing Power if you are optimistic, content and happy. But if you are depressed and scared, the chances are bad(downward spiral). Do not try to be happy and content - just be happy and content (upward spiral). I came out of the Depression and Fearness without Drugs or something. And my T became quieter and quieter from 10 to ~3. I live with my T exactly like before the Time with T (except loud Disco Music).

You wrote: "What if my tinnitus get worse? What if i'll get depressed again? I can't come back... it would be a failure too big"

And this is your Problem. This Fear is the Main Topic in your Head (like it was at me) and in your subconscious you steer exactly to it. I was in the same Situation and i got over it. The Problem is not the Ringing itself, it is what you think about it.

I hope you Understand my Text, sorry for bad English.

Have a nice Day

 

You really helped me, I can't tell you how much! You're right... Tinnitus can't stop us, as long as we don't allow it to do that! We can live a good life, and in the meantime waiting for a cure
Thank you so much again. I'll go to France And hope everything's gonna be fine.

 

I'm glad you are going we are all understanding and supportive on here and you will always find support .We all have fought the fight with T and life can be normal with T. Sara you just have to keep thinking this way and living your life. Don't let T live it for you. You are in the drivers seat and you can go wherever your dreams lead you. Uncle Vikin.

 

Good for you that you decided to go! If you need us while you're in France, we're Just a few mouse clicks away!

 

And do never forget: Depression is maybe strong BUT LOVE is still stronger. You just need the self-love. If you love yourself, you don't need to be afraid of Depression.

About Happiness: www.zenpencils.com/wp-content/uploads/2012-08-02-happiness.jpg

 

Hey Sara , I'd definitely go for it I know how Erasmus is like as I use to live in Portugal (now Dubai) go for it , if you've defeated T once I believe u could do it again , don't let it stop U , im new to it and I'm trying my best to cope I've had it for 10 days now Worst time ha ?