I Feel Like I'm Going to Kill Myself

I'm sorry if the header is triggering but that's how I really feel.
Im 17, I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain (fibromyalgia) and chronic daily head aches along with lymes disease and some other things. The only way I coped with these illnesses was to listen to music and I think I got tinitus because of that. Before my tinitus got really bad I had mild tinnitus and I was able to ignore it and completely forget it was there, it went away. However a couple of days ago it got worse and I've been suffering ever since. I have previously been to a audiologist (last year) and they said everything was fine and I want to go again now. I am having constant panic attacks and a big ball in my stomach I'm assuming it's anxitey. I went to a doctor yesterday and he said if I still have it in a weeks time he'll send me to specialist and he gave me Valium but only a low dosage and 10 pills. Everyone I have spoken to around me says it'll go away but I don't think it will. School has been terrible due to my other illnesses interfering and it's caused this giant load of stress. Can I still listen to music? Do you think it'll get better once I stress and panic less. Please help. I can't stop listening to it and I cannot enjoy nothing anymore. I just want to die.

 

You're young like me , I just turned 19 , usually people our age get easily scared about anything , anytime , I know how u feel , may I ask how did it get worse ?

 

I have no idea I assume loud noise. I just woke up 2 days ago with terrible T. music is the only way I cope with my other illnesses.

 

I suggest nortriptyline as it will help with the pain, depression and tinnitus.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2817678

Treatment of depressed tinnitus patients with nortriptyline.
Sullivan MD1, Dobie RA, Sakai CS, Katon WJ.
Author information

Abstract
Patients disabled by tinnitus show a high prevalence of major depression. Furthermore, tinnitus produces patterns of disability similar to those produced by major depression. To explore further this link between tinnitus and depression, and to investigate the efficacy of treating depression in the treatment of tinnitus, a single-blind, placebo-washout, nonrandomized pilot study of the tricyclic antidepressant nortriptyline (hydrochloride) was undertaken in disabled tinnitus patients who also met diagnostic criteria for major depression. Nineteen patients began the study, two responded to placebo, and two dropped out prior to completion. Fourteen considered their tinnitus improved, and 12 chose to continue taking nortriptyline after the study. Depression severity decreased, on the average, by 65% (p less than .0001). Tinnitus loudness measured by audiometric matching decreased by a mean of 10 dB or 50% (p less than .02). Self-reports of tinnitus loudness and severity, somatic and psychologic symptoms, and psychosocial dysfunction all showed significant improvement with treatment. These results suggest that what initially appears to be an irreversible otologic disability in these patients may be in large part a reversible psychiatric disability.

 

Thank you

 

No problem. Have you ever tried nortriptyline?

 

Maybe, I have tried amitriptaline but that was before my t and it was for my head aches. I'm so glad this forum exists reading everyone's posts both the good and the bad is making me feel better. The advise and kindness and seeing that a lot of people have this is making me feel slightly better though I doubt it will last, I feel like I am only looking forward to sleep even though it is very difficult.
Sorry for blabbing at you but I don't have many people to talk to.

 

Nortriptyline is different to amitriptyline as they function differently and there's much less side-effects. I would show that study to your doctor and discuss it further. Best wishes Danny Boy.

 

Welcome @Eleanor. Danny has been very helpful in advising you. I will add that anxiety and stress are bad for T. They can trigger or aggravate T. Music is actually good for T as long as it is not too loud and it helps mask the T. My colleague told me that his wife who has T would have country music running in her bedroom all the time, making him having to sleep in a different room for the last 20 years. LOL. But she lives her life and has raised her kids to adults. No sweat. T is not an end game. So don't kill yourself over it.

Tinnitus is actually very common. Millions have it and carry on with life normally. Some get intrusive T but also recover over time. Either their T fade or they habituate to the sound and are not aware of the sound most of the day. I have read so many members saying after they have T and talking to friends and people, they realize many in their social circle have T for years but are not hearing it until the subject is brought up to them. That is habituation. Celebrities also have T. Google 'celebrities with tinnitus' and you will get a long list. Here are two famous celebrities, household names of sort, David Letterman and William Shatner (Captain Kirk of Star Trek) talking about their tinnitus. People carry on with life after suffering initially. That show was in 1996. As of now these guys are still enjoying their life even though they said their T got worse in 1996. So don't panic and stress yourself out because of T. It will get better. Read the success stories and learn's people's insight and you will feel more hopeful and positive. God bless you.

Here is their show on youtube:

David Letterman with William Shatner - March,...

Here is my success story if you have time to read it. It is a bit long but I list some helpful points to help me recover. I have ultra high pitch loud dog whistle T and severe hyperacusis. I had daily and even hourly panic attacks (as I had suffered anxiety and panic disorders for decades prior to T). I went through hell with T & H but now live a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. So have faith that you can get better too. Remember the more positive and calm you are, the better for reducing the intrusiveness of T.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

Don't worry about being young with tinnitus. Many young members on TT have written success stories after receiving support here. Perhaps count youth as being positive, as young people are more adaptive, more fun in life and less stress about making a living. Their young minds are more receptive of things. So after getting support here, they recover and write their success stories. Here are some samples of them:

success story of 17 years old Zach:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/fake-it-until-you-make-it.7590/

success story of Jari with T since 12 years old:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new.7670/

College age AnneG success story:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/came-back-to-say-it-really-does-get-better.6166/

University age Lena to hell & back story:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/i-finally-get-out-of-hell.7576/\

 

Dear Eleanor, I'm sorry to hear about the tinnitus that has come upon you, adding to your other health ailments. The anxiety you are experiencing is beyond a doubt making things worse. I have a lot of problems with anxiety everyday now along with the rotten tinnitus. (I'm 50 years old) It breaks my heart to hear about you wanting to end your life. Do you have family you can talk to and get support from? Parents or close relatives? I usually don't share this, my oldest son accidentally overdosed/passed away from taking prescription drugs almost 6 years ago. That event all but killed me in this life. You must have family members that care about you. I do hope and believe that things will improve in the tinnitus and anxiety issues for you. Please hang in there. I'm sure you can still listen to music, but don't have the volume cranked way up. If you need a little bit more of the medication to help you relax I wouldn't hesitate to call on the doctor again if needed before you might see a specialist. Like I said, please hang in there, you're stronger than you think. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers................ God Bless....... Rich