My Toughest Challenge Ever — Little Sleep, Anxiety, Depression, Difficulties at Work

Hi all,

11 weeks into a 'spike' which I now fear is my new baseline.

Since my piano exposure 11 weeks ago it's been a living hell. Little sleep; anxiety; depression; difficulties at work [leaving early etc].

I've got ultra high pitched whine in my right ear, fluctuates between that and my left or both or in the head. Coupled with bells in the left, sometimes in the right and a venuous hum. My life is living hell at the minute and I'm losing hope or any return to baseline.

How can someone who went from 20 years of habituation go right back to square one? How do I reach that point of acceptance again? I'm not new to this so why is this so f$£king difficult?

It's that intense I can almost feel it on the outside of my right ear. When I press near the ear canal I can almost manipulate it.

 

You need to get a good night's sleep. Hopefully things will be better for you emotionally and at work. If you haven't already, you might want to consider talking to your doctor for suggestions.
Mike

 

Your anxiety and obsession over the new possible baseline is throwing you off. It is understandable and I have been there many times myself. I highly suggest that you try to relax somehow and load the stress off the mind. I don't know what a new baseline is anymore, because my tinnitus feels like a damn spike 24 hours a day.

I do make use of tons of relaxing techniques such as exercise and I make good use of very low level sound therapy. I use the sound therapy, because I want my mind to hear something else besides the crap ringing, that is living in me 24 hours a day. The key is to have it low and not as loud as the tinnitus. This is what I make use of and it seems to help me out.

Possibly talking it out with someone might help you as well. Hang in there, we are rooting for you!

 

@Allan1967,
Getting enough sleep and relaxation can help ,
I take a 50mg antidepressant for sleep long term .
Maskers and hearing aids can help if needed.
Let's hope this is just a wobble and you habituate again soon and it settle down.

love glynis

 

When my second spike happened I ended up having to use medications like Zopiclone and Valium to get me to sleep and calm down. Don't use them for longer than a week though. Either toughen it out which I don't recommend because it's pointless torture or get some meds. The overwhelming panic only lasts some time regardless. The quality of life from this point is another issue but I'm sure you want this current torture to end.

 

Not getting enough sleep can cause or worsen anxiety, stress, raise cortisol level, inflammation and depression. So do everything you can to work on getting enough rest. That will hep a host of other issues. Keep searching for natural aids to help with sleep and anxiety and try to find a better routine before bed time that that is more effective and winding down. There are so many options to both and you have to keep searching for the one that works for you. Dont give up and settle on not getting enough sleep and using or doing the same thing to help sleep that isn't working well enough. There's a dizzying array of options out there. Do you or can. you excursive at all? That alone will help burn off excess cortisol.

Let us know what you have tired so far so we can help you with new suggestions.

 

Hi Allan, I had to wait a long while until I could get an appointment with a psychologist, but was finally able to start CBTi which seems to have helped. You can search CBTi or cognitive behavioral therapy- insomnia on Youtube as well. Taking the antidepressant before going to bed, instead of in the morning helped, me as well. TC

 

I'm in the same boat man, 10 years habituated and recent spike has not subsided. Im scared to take antidepressants which sucks because I know my anxiety is making it 100x worse. I'm not even working right now because I'm under so much stress and depression. I went from 100 to 0 in 2 months. Nothing makes me happy. The only time I get any peace is when I play video games, I forget about the T shortly just to be slammed back to reality. I guess your first step is finding out the type of T you have and the cause and see of theres any treatments you can do. At the current time finding a helpful treatment for my self is a full time job.

 

Can you get some times off work and try and relax is much as possible. Eliminating one stress factor and taking sleeping pills for a period of time might be benificial?

 

Hi all

Getting time off work is a possibility but only if I go sick, which isn't good plus my wife will bust my chops. I'm not quite at that stage yet. Work are aware I'm struggling and are being supportive.

I'm getting sleep, just not enough at the right time. Take last night....I did some meditation from about 1930 onwards and ended up zoning myself out into a sleep state until 10pm. Then I'm awake so I pop a Mirtazapine to get me to sleep until 330am. I need to stay up and go to bed at 2330 and sleep till 0600 or 0500.

But as my tinnitus is so fuckin loud and intrusive in the evening all I want to do is be unconscious to get away from it.

I've had dark times like this in my life before, where I felt life was pushing me towards suicide, but I always came out the darkness and back into the light. With this new tinnitus I'm just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel lost, disconnected from family and without hope. In my open plan office at work people are laughing and getting excited about Xmas and I'm sitting there weighing up the pros and cons of throwing myself down a 10th floor stairwell.

 

I’m curious.....When you say ‘habituated’ for 20 years @Allan1967 do you mean it was quieter than it is now?

Equally @ItsNate101 was your 10 years previous quieter and less intrusive than it is now?

 

I think it was marginally quieter Bam and less intense. This beast is more piercing and sharp. And it varies.

Habituated to me means being able to hear it but think 'Meh...so fucking what'. I was at that point a long time ago but I've completely lost that mindset.

 

It’s so strange when you read these stories of people being suddenly spun out by a condition they’ve had for many years. I suppose it just goes to show how incredibly different it can be when the volume goes up a notch. It seems as though the brain just goes, ‘whoah fuck that! This is too much now!’ .....Good luck Allan. Thinking of you mate.

 

Hi @Allan1967,

Sorry to hear how difficult things are for you at the moment. Undoubtedly, lack of sleep is a big contributor those difficulties. I've mentioned it before on this forum, but in case you haven't seen it, I've experienced dramatically improved sleep since acquiring a home mHBOT unit. Sleep improvement seems to be almost universal for those trying HBOT, and I was no exception, noticing a significant improvement the very first night.

I've also written on this forum that some areas have businesses that lease these units, generally around $600/month, with lease to own options. I bought my entire setup (chamber, O2 concentrator, and "silencer' for a little under $7,000. Plus, they hold their value quite well. When a person gets to the point of thinking about suicide (I fully understand the feeling), then investing in some HBOT experimentation to see how it works can suddenly make a lot of sense. -- You may even be able to lease one out for a week or so.

Again, sorry how difficult things are for you. I wouldn't give up hope of getting past your current spike. Improved sleep could very well go a long way in helping you turn things around. -- I hope that will be the case for you...

 

I just ran across this short, simply worded POST, which seems like kind of a supporting complement to my own sentiments.

 

It was definitely not as intense before. Nothing can drown it out now. It's also not 1 steady tone so I cant tune it out. Its like a irregular beat that changes pitch. I had really intense musical hallucinations/tinnitus after a withdrawal and it seemed to never go away 100%. I will say if it stayed the way it did from the withdrawal I would not be here. Most terrifying experience of my life.

 

You can try good night sleep tea ( made from Valerian, chamomile and skullcap ); I use a double dosage which is one full teaspoon. I just eat a teaspoon and drink it down with water . Jatamamsi oil applied to the forehead can also help . I also use melatonin .
You can order all of the above with the Ayurvedic Institute in New Mexico .

If none of the above works, and I know people have reservations about klonopin, I would go for it. If you can’t get sleep, things become a nightmare . Even 1 mg a night could help . Of course it is habit-forming and you’ll have to make that decision as to whether you want to go this route . I was able to titrate off Klonopin quite easily but then three months later the tinnitus rebounded, but not to the catastrophic point I was at the beginning .

 

Hi @Allan1967 . How are you now, almost a year later?

I've been where you are and kind of being there atm as well. I'm also a 20 year veteran, so to speak. Not that it helps much when it comes to tackling this crap.

Anyway, I hope you got through it and re-habituated.

 

In a very dark place still.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope it improves somehow.

 

So do I @Sven.

My tinnitus is sharp and intense, it can't be drowned out, my hearing is becoming more sensitive but I have had an ear infection and my right ear is blocked so I don't know if the blockage is making things seem louder or not.

Generally I am very depressed at how this makes me feel and I pray for an early death.

 

Hi Allan1967, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through and I hope it gets better soon. Regarding the near ear canal manipulation, have you had a CT scan to rule out a nearby vessel issue causing the newer intense tinnitus?

My ENT is ordering that for me as a portion of my tinnitus changes due to manipulations as well (to my neck position), and also to check for nerve damage. Possibly postural changes for me since my car accident.

I pray you come through the darkness once again, sir. I hope you receive relief soon.

 

No I haven't had a CT scan for that. It's difficult to tell where my tinnitus is at at the minute due to dulled hearing.

Best regards to you too, kind Sir.