Hello, I wish I can keep the introduction brief because right now my anxiety spike is pretty harsh.
I'm a young adult with big aspirations and dreams, all of this feels like it's dangling on the line at the expense of a freak accident with my computer in 2016.
STORY AND HOW THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED
In early autumn of 2016 I was exposed to an exceptionally loud sound blast through my headphones of my computer, a single second is all it takes to do some damage. The first few months after the incident feels like a blur-- a few days after the accident I hurried over to a local hearing center (I live in a small town, so medical options are very limited) and received a sound test. At the moment T didn't even occur to me, I was more worried about hearing loss or sustained hearing damage than the term "tinnitus", something I've never really heard before or knew.
Eardrums scarred to a considerable amount, for the first couple of months the pressure levels in my ears were off. It took some time for them to revert back to normal, at least that solved my major imbalance issues.
My brain was going nuts. Of course it was grappling with phantom pains as well as attempting to recover itself from the initial trauma. The first couple of weeks were indeed interesting, I would hear high frequency pitches for several seconds, only to have them dissipate after some time. Quite oddly, I felt this was my body's way of telling me it's trying to repair itself, or so I convinced myself to think.
It's now March of 2017, and my situation involving hearing and potential T has taken a considerable shift. Those loud, high pitched frequencies I would have on a rare occasion has subsided completely. If there's one main problem among all-- my neck and inner ears are freaking sore. Sore all the time. Fullness, aching-- everything. Do I have T? Do I have any "ringing"? To be completely honest, I don't hear any ringing. If I were to hear any noise or pitch, it's extremely, extremely low. I can place my finger in my left ear-- feels open. Less sore. If I put a finger in my right ear-- swollen, warm. Tight.
My initial visit with a general hearing doctor (rather informal visits, really. She was kind enough to lend her hearing test services and examinations for free.) she was unsure but quite optimistic about my situation. From her I learned of the phantom pain I suffer with, and she herself couldn't really put a finger as to whether or not I suffer with T. I never went through a formal testing. The hearing test I've received came out relatively normal. She was relieved, so that's some good news, right?
Just last week I visited with an ENT, and I feel he sent me out of the door faster than I have even come in. He stamped me with T; a really unsatisfactory appointment with little to no insight. He checked my ears and was convinced that the canals and such were fine, strongly convinced that I didn't require further treatment. (No scans, no hearing tests. HELL, not even an auditory pitch match test to even SEE if I even had tinnitus and what pitch it was similar to. Nothing.)
CONCLUSION AND QUESTION
Of course my anxiety and depression has been stirred up considerably these past few days ever since the abysmal ENT appointment, so everything I have going on is aggravated. All of that SAID-- I'm a hypochondriac. I freak out over the smallest things. I'm not sure how to word it-- I feel as if I haven't been diagnosed at all, I've been given no justice-- only paranoia. I need closure, I need to knew even if I have T to begin with, but I'm unsure of where to start again and who to ask. I need to speak with someone who will actually hear me out, rather than send me out the door.
Do I have ringing in my ears? No, I really don't. If I hear any noise at all, you'll need to put me in quieter rooms. If anything, I feel soreness and pain in my inner ears. I hear maybe.. maybe a 1 - 5% noise level of something extremely low. Low like the natural rush of blood in our bodies.
I feel cheated, and I need to seek some closure. I'm in some limbo of being unsure if I have T or not.
I have had big plans to go to college and seek a job, but this feels like the biggest wall I've ever met with and... it feels hopeless. I'm not sure of what to do or think, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you.
I'm a young adult with big aspirations and dreams, all of this feels like it's dangling on the line at the expense of a freak accident with my computer in 2016.
STORY AND HOW THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED
In early autumn of 2016 I was exposed to an exceptionally loud sound blast through my headphones of my computer, a single second is all it takes to do some damage. The first few months after the incident feels like a blur-- a few days after the accident I hurried over to a local hearing center (I live in a small town, so medical options are very limited) and received a sound test. At the moment T didn't even occur to me, I was more worried about hearing loss or sustained hearing damage than the term "tinnitus", something I've never really heard before or knew.
Eardrums scarred to a considerable amount, for the first couple of months the pressure levels in my ears were off. It took some time for them to revert back to normal, at least that solved my major imbalance issues.
My brain was going nuts. Of course it was grappling with phantom pains as well as attempting to recover itself from the initial trauma. The first couple of weeks were indeed interesting, I would hear high frequency pitches for several seconds, only to have them dissipate after some time. Quite oddly, I felt this was my body's way of telling me it's trying to repair itself, or so I convinced myself to think.
It's now March of 2017, and my situation involving hearing and potential T has taken a considerable shift. Those loud, high pitched frequencies I would have on a rare occasion has subsided completely. If there's one main problem among all-- my neck and inner ears are freaking sore. Sore all the time. Fullness, aching-- everything. Do I have T? Do I have any "ringing"? To be completely honest, I don't hear any ringing. If I were to hear any noise or pitch, it's extremely, extremely low. I can place my finger in my left ear-- feels open. Less sore. If I put a finger in my right ear-- swollen, warm. Tight.
My initial visit with a general hearing doctor (rather informal visits, really. She was kind enough to lend her hearing test services and examinations for free.) she was unsure but quite optimistic about my situation. From her I learned of the phantom pain I suffer with, and she herself couldn't really put a finger as to whether or not I suffer with T. I never went through a formal testing. The hearing test I've received came out relatively normal. She was relieved, so that's some good news, right?
Just last week I visited with an ENT, and I feel he sent me out of the door faster than I have even come in. He stamped me with T; a really unsatisfactory appointment with little to no insight. He checked my ears and was convinced that the canals and such were fine, strongly convinced that I didn't require further treatment. (No scans, no hearing tests. HELL, not even an auditory pitch match test to even SEE if I even had tinnitus and what pitch it was similar to. Nothing.)
CONCLUSION AND QUESTION
Of course my anxiety and depression has been stirred up considerably these past few days ever since the abysmal ENT appointment, so everything I have going on is aggravated. All of that SAID-- I'm a hypochondriac. I freak out over the smallest things. I'm not sure how to word it-- I feel as if I haven't been diagnosed at all, I've been given no justice-- only paranoia. I need closure, I need to knew even if I have T to begin with, but I'm unsure of where to start again and who to ask. I need to speak with someone who will actually hear me out, rather than send me out the door.
Do I have ringing in my ears? No, I really don't. If I hear any noise at all, you'll need to put me in quieter rooms. If anything, I feel soreness and pain in my inner ears. I hear maybe.. maybe a 1 - 5% noise level of something extremely low. Low like the natural rush of blood in our bodies.
I feel cheated, and I need to seek some closure. I'm in some limbo of being unsure if I have T or not.
I have had big plans to go to college and seek a job, but this feels like the biggest wall I've ever met with and... it feels hopeless. I'm not sure of what to do or think, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you.
