Struggling to Cope

Hi all,

I’ve had tinnitus now since August 14th.

The weekend before on the 11th, I went out to a nightclub in Berlin and took some speed and cocaine (which I have done before but wholeheartedly regret) only to find myself absolutely wired and anxious the next day, on the phone to my family halfway around the world trying to get them to calm me down. I ended up taking some Valium and Lorazepam to get myself to sleep on the Sunday evening eventually.

I went to work on the Monday, hungover but o.k and then noticed a faint ring in my left ear Tuesday morning. I managed to cope fine with it for a week and in fact didn’t even register it until I started reading about tinnitus, and then I hit the panic button, visiting two ENT specialists in Berlin who assured me it would go away, the second giving me steroids at 20mg tapering off for 16 days.

I’ve been home now since the 7th September and have tried acupuncture and every supplement under the sun without success.

I have hearing loss as depicted in my audiogram, but they can’t say how long I’ve had it, but I know it must be related to the tinnitus.

It’s about 6/10 and I can almost get it to go when taking lorazepam as I’ve needed to for anxiety that comes with this. I’m currently on another round of steroids at 60mg tapering down over a month.

I’m currently trying craniosacral therapy and had my first session the other day.

Every day is torment for me and I’ve thought about suicide a lot lately. I just can’t see any way out of this and my brain catastrophises everything easily.

I have an MRI to rule out a neuroma on 14th Nov. Will this get better? It’s only been three months but I am just not recovering at all. I cry every day and I feel so bad for my family.

 

Please give it some more time. Whether it starts to lessen or you get used to it things will improve with time. I got t earlier this year. I've never faced a challenge so great in my life. I wish I could say I'm used to it, I can't say that. I can say I'm doing better than I was the first month or two.

If there was advice I could go back and give myself in those first few months it would be to be patient. The other advice I would give is to not worry about the future right now, focus on what you can do to make it through day by day. Eventually your mind will move back to planning tomorrow, then perhaps next week, etc.

I had a lot of success going for walks in a local forest as well. Something about being in nature helped to calm me.

I wish you success in your journey.

 

The steroids did not help?

 

@trc,
Tinnitus can be hard get use to and especially the early months.
Unwanted emotions, lack of sleep,concentration problems and for some people depression and suicidal thoughts.
You arn't going funny as all of the above I have mentioned is common when tinnitus invades our life.

With help and support life will start to feel normal again for most people .

Make sure you keep away fom loud venues and wear hearing protection when needed .
Keep posting for support as we are here for you.
love glynis x

 

If you are a frequent visitor to nightclubs, listening to music regularly through headphone or doing both of these things, your tinnitus was likely caused by "exposure to loud noise". If I were you, I'd stop going to see anymore ENT doctors for now because it won't achieve anything. Try to calm down and give it time for your ears to settle.

I advise you not to go to nightclubs for now. Give it at least 3 months or wait until the tinnitus subsides. My advice is not to use headphones even at low volume. Click on the links below and read my posts that I think will help you.

All the best
Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-to-tinnitus-what-to-do.12558/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

Your hearing loss pattern does not suggest loss from exposure to loud noise. If your loss was from going to clubs, headphones, etc. the audiogram would show a more gradual decline in both ears rather than a sharp drop and slight bump back up in only one ear. Both ears would be damaged, not one.

Your loss pattern is very similar to my own, though mine makes a sharp drop at 6k to 75dB. Mine is from sudden sensorineural hearing loss due to a virus. The virus was a simple cold that I had a few weeks prior, though I’ve since learned that SSNHL frequently happens with no discernible cause.

SSNHL is usually defined by a sudden loss of three consecutive frequencies. However, I suspect you would find additional loss if you were to have your hearing tested above 8k. This was uncovered for me, and the loss pattern for higher frequencies further confirmed SSNHL.

I am so sorry you’re experiencing this. The first six months to a year are incredibly difficult. It’s frightening to feel like your body failed you, and the fear of the unknown is awful too. By any chance do you have hyperacusis too?

I underwent a lot of testing and saw multiple ear and neurological specialists. Please message me if you have any questions about the diagnostic process.

Have you considered trying a hearing aid? Your loss would definitely qualify for one. I tried one but chose not to purchase it, though I likely will in a few years.

One of the things that helped me was my CBT therapist. While she does not have tinnitus, she does have chronic pain and sees other patients with chronic pain. For me, taking things day by day — and sometimes hour by hour — helped. I found that dwelling on the past (who I had been) and thinking of the future (who I had expected to be) only caused me to slide further into depression. It’s not easy finding your new normal and learning to live again.

Don’t hesitate to reach out! I can’t tell you how stunned I was to see your audiogram. After a year and a half on this forum, I’ve never seen one so closely mirror my own.

 

Hi all,

After having been through hell I seemed to have turned a corner a few weeks back, only to have the anxiety and depression come roaring back.

I have a job offer to start in a month and the prospect of going back to work away from my family is perhaps scaring me. I don’t know whether to go but living at home with my terminally ill father and the rest of my family isn’t the healthiest place to be either.

I don’t know how I’m going to live with this. The tinnitus is always there it’s horrible.

I’ve been having some dark thoughts and I don’t want them to come back.

Any advice would be great.

 

Have a word with your family doctor/GP about how you feel, and see if something can be prescribed to help with any stress and anxiety issues. Remember to keep away from loud sounds and I advise you not to use headphones even at low volume.

Michael

 

It is not easy living with this thing when there are other dark things going on in your life. Your father being terminally ill must be very stressful and difficult situation on top of this never mind on top of depression as well. So I bet you are much stronger than you think. Michael’s advice to seek medical help for my GP to start with seems good. Life can turn around, change and surprise us very much so I really hope in the long term things get better for you.

 

You need to give it more time. Even tho you've had it for a couple of months, you are still in the early stages. You/your brain will find a way to cope with it and habituate, and thats the worst part of it (and its not bad). The best part is that you still have a chance of getting rid of the T. T is not considered chronic until you've had it for 2-3 years I think.

I know the hopeless feeling, all of us in this forum do. But give it time, use a masking sound at nights if you are not already doing it. You will start to feel better, I promise you.

 

Thanks all for the support. I’m about to move away from my family and support network into a flat and a new job in Auckland.

I think this might be stressing me out, but is it a positive thing to be getting on with my life?

I’ve been at home for six months now essentially in limbo. It’s been horrible.

I fear that the tinnitus will worsen and become unbearable. I take clonazepam every couple of days for acute anxiety.

 

@trc,
Good luck with your move and job.
Remember we are only a click away.


love glynis

 

@glynis
Hi, I hope you're doing well. Do you have any advice for me regarding hearing aids? I have moderate hearing loss and am looking to get a pair soon.