I'm 53 today. What am I doing? Panicking and crying. I really thought things were improving. I really thought I was getting used to some things like going out, working part time, socializing etc. Lately, at night, I've been able to sleep without masking and been having some silent spells when calm at night. Last night, I had a spike when I'm usually pretty quiet and this really threw me as I've not been getting them at this time of the day for some time. It was too loud to put my ear to the pillow and I panicked. So, on went the masker and in went the Valium. Two more Valium this morning. My recovery was paper thin after all. An illusion. Smoke and mirrors. The whole of my 52nd year has been wasted because I've been held hostage by Tinnitus albeit mild. Is it getting worse? I'm so disappointed. I was planning to go out for a meal on Friday with people from a social meetup group. I don't know whether I can now. My T often spikes when I'm out as well. What to do.