Dij111
Mood:
Suicidal
Last Activity:
Apr 19, 2018 at 5:55 AM
Joined:
Feb 3, 2018
Messages:
59
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0
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81

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Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Nov 23, 1992 (Age: 25)

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Dij111

Member, Male, 25

Keep on pushing, trying to stay away from this forum as much as I can, glancing at success stories when feeling anxious. Mar 29, 2018

Dij111 was last seen:
Apr 19, 2018 at 5:55 AM
    1. Dij111
      Dij111
      Keep on pushing, trying to stay away from this forum as much as I can, glancing at success stories when feeling anxious.
      1. paganismos and Holly1987 like this.
      2. dpdx
        dpdx
        why?
        Mar 30, 2018
    2. jjflyman
      jjflyman
      Hang in there. It will fade!!!
      1. Dij111
        Dij111
        Holding on hope with every part of my body :( today was a fairly good T day, managed to watch a movie without thinking about T, I've been noticing volume reductions every month since onset.
        Mar 28, 2018
        New Guy, SugarMagnolia and Autumnly like this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        I also can't say for sure yet but it seems as if I lost some of the extra tones I had, I've only heard my 1 tonal T today with no other sounds.
        Mar 28, 2018
        Autumnly likes this.
      3. jjflyman
        jjflyman
        Thats great news! It is so slow to fade, it's tough to form a point of reference. You will get through this, but it may take up to 2 years. I'm 18 months in now (acoustic trauma) and am aprox 90% faded. I *hope* to be fully healed by the 2 year mark. You will get better.
        Mar 28, 2018
    3. Dij111
      Dij111
      Emotional setbacks this week, a whole tantrum of them. Negativity is leaking from all my posts, I'm sorry if anyone is/was offended.
      1. Dij111
        Dij111
        Just need to keep going, push forward somehow - fake it til' you make it, as much as I hate to say it.
        Mar 26, 2018
        Autumnly likes this.
      2. Jontrast
        Jontrast
        Just be so honest and open about yourself that it causes neurotypicals to question their societal sculpted mindset. A autistic person on social capita that makes memes in photoshop, dicks around with internet friends and watches cartoons all day can live a happier life then a hard working, church going, married man with kids and a wife and high income job.
        Mar 27, 2018
        Dij111 likes this.
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        Mar 27, 2018
    4. Dij111
      Dij111
      I woke up at 5 AM and instantly my mind played up the events leading up to my Tinnitus, I almost threw up.
      1. threefirefour likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        You get used to it, people say, everything will be fine.
        The beginning was better because at least I was fed with false hope.
        Mar 26, 2018
        threefirefour likes this.
      4. Dij111
        Dij111
        I just know I am going to suffer from insomnia this week, this is how we get to the addictive anti-depressant pill stage, I get it now, I feel sorry for everyone here.
        Mar 26, 2018
      5. jjflyman
        jjflyman
        Don't give up hope, you will most likely greatly improve over the next 12 months. Lots of people with noise caused T completely recover.
        Mar 26, 2018
        Dij111 likes this.
    5. Dij111
      Dij111
      I slept for 2 hours today... lost hope :(
      1. threefirefour likes this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        I just walked 40 mins to the beach with double ear protection, maybe I can catch some sleep here, with skin cancer as a bonus.
        Mar 25, 2018
    6. Dij111
      Dij111
      The only way I can live with this condition is to change my purpose in life, I can no longer live for myself because there's no joy in it.
      1. threefirefour likes this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        Need to keep going so my mother doesn't grieve for me.
        Mar 24, 2018
        SugarMagnolia and threefirefour like this.
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        The only person in my life that truly matters and cares.
        Mar 24, 2018
        SugarMagnolia and threefirefour like this.
      4. Dij111
        Dij111
        I would've been miserable if she was not around during these 2 months.
        Mar 24, 2018
        SugarMagnolia and threefirefour like this.
    7. Dij111
      Dij111
      Prisoners who serve a life sentence have it easy, our life sentence is way worse.
      1. threefirefour and Equalizer like this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        Where did it all go wrong, in the span of a few months...
        Mar 24, 2018
        threefirefour likes this.
      3. reeax
        reeax
        watch OZ show, so you can see if they have it easy ;) you might even reconsider your situation
        Mar 24, 2018
      4. threefirefour
        threefirefour
        Sorry about the guy above me. You get those types around here :)
        Mar 24, 2018
    8. Dij111
      Dij111
      Waking up tired... with a headache, because the brain keeps needlessly working, without a shred of will to get up... thanks T
      1. Equalizer likes this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        Almost ready to give up with how I'm feeling this morning... this is going to be a great day.
        Mar 24, 2018
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        Always physically feeling my brain or ears, I am exhausted of this feeling.
        Mar 24, 2018
        Equalizer likes this.
      4. Dij111
        Dij111
        Will need to suffer for a few more months to see if there's improvement.
        Mar 24, 2018
    9. Dij111
      Dij111
      Another day, 8 PM, almost done, let's keep it going, hope for a quiet night.
      1. Autumnly likes this.
    10. Dij111
      Dij111
      I've spent this day being distress-free :) , another day almost burnt - just need to get some sleep today, back pains are killing me.
    11. Dij111
      Dij111
      Can neighborhood doggo please stop barking? it's been 4 hours, he starts right on schedule when construction work ends.
      1. Dij111
        Dij111
        I wonder if life in this neighborhood was always like that... guess I've been coming off work and diving straight into headphones so I did not notice the sounds.
        Mar 21, 2018
      2. JodieStephens
        JodieStephens
        Hehe doggo
        Mar 21, 2018
        Dij111 likes this.
    12. Dij111
      Dij111
      I think I'll just go to the beach today and just lay there listening to ocean sounds for 8 hours instead of hiding from construction work.
      1. SugarMagnolia and Julien87 like this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        The waves aren't masking my T... this is the saddest disease in the world...
        Mar 21, 2018
        SugarMagnolia likes this.
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        Should do this more often, natural ocean wave sounds feel so good on the ears.
        Mar 21, 2018
        SugarMagnolia and Julien87 like this.
    13. Dij111
      Dij111
      I want to kill myself.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        @Jontrast but then who will fill this forum full of memes :(
        Mar 21, 2018
      3. Jontrast
        Jontrast
        @Dij111 I already wrote a script that can post 3 pictures of Obama dancing every several hours. Once i'm dead I can just have scripts do all my posting with a large plathora of memes and random content. However I don't know if I can find a computer to keep running if I do it. In the mean time just appreciate me while I'm a live.
        Mar 21, 2018
        Dij111 likes this.
      4. Jontrast
        Jontrast
        literally shitposting from the grave would be hilarious on my part
        Mar 21, 2018
        SugarMagnolia and Dij111 like this.
    14. Dij111
      Dij111
      Should've just barricaded myself in my room for 6 months.
    15. Dij111
      Dij111
      Scared to go back to the pool tomorrow... actually noticing some very good improvements to my T and I don't want to ruin it.
      1. threefirefour likes this.
      2. Julien87
        Julien87
        You will be fine. Avoid the screaming kids and keep your distance with the lifeguards, they might use their whistle. Have fun ;)
        Mar 19, 2018
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        T in my good ear sure is fine, really no reason to be paranoid from normal everyday noises for us.
        Mar 19, 2018
      4. Dij111
        Dij111
        It seems to be subsiding as the ear fullness is going away, if it won't I will go crazy.
        Mar 19, 2018
    16. Dij111
      Dij111
      Kids screaming at the pool today... couldn't swim for more than 20 mins, my ears hurt even with earplugs.
      1. Dij111
        Dij111
        I really hope this spike is just because of the exercise and not the kids... I got out of there 5 mins after they got into the pool and started screaming.
        Mar 19, 2018
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        Maybe I should really go the @Bill Bauer way and become a hermit to protect against sounds throughout these first months.
        Mar 19, 2018
        Bill Bauer likes this.
    17. Dij111
      Dij111
      Just as construction work ended, a dog started barking loudly all over the neighborhood for the past 3 hours :) positivity is KEY :)
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        No idea, the proximity of his voice was coming closer though, the barking stopped now, and the upstairs neighbors are playing music, yay me :)
        Mar 18, 2018
      3. AZeurotuner
        AZeurotuner
        I don't worry about my T for stuff like that, I worry about my general sanity... Bad neighbors are the worst.
        Mar 18, 2018
        Dij111 likes this.
      4. AZeurotuner
        AZeurotuner
        Love my pitbull... She only barks at mean cats, lol.
        Mar 18, 2018
        Dij111 likes this.
    18. Dij111
      Dij111
      T is very low today, even after exercise which spikes it, time to be happy joyful and hopeful only to be let down a few hours later :)
      1. Autumnly likes this.
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        I thought my T disappeared when swimming today, turns out the earplug just popped out a bit :) happy memories
        Mar 18, 2018
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        Positivity is KEY :)
        Mar 18, 2018
    19. Dij111
      Dij111
      I am starting to accept that T will not go away... I am also starting to accept that I will not live with T if it does not go away.
      1. Equalizer and threefirefour like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        But most of what we get are side-stories - a friend of a friend of a friend whose T went away.
        Mar 17, 2018
      4. Dij111
        Dij111
        I believe most figures in all these studies about T disappearing completely for 70% of people simply had temporary threshold shift and not real tinnitus.
        Mar 17, 2018
      5. Dij111
        Dij111
        Sorry but I just feel like venting out my frustration today.
        Mar 17, 2018
    20. Dij111
      Dij111
      Great... spent the whole night moving around from back pain and T being so loud I felt my head spinning.
    21. Dij111
      Dij111
      The side-bar "New Profile Posts" is just one depressing post after another... here's a smiley face to balance it out :)
      1. Haz_G likes this.
    22. Dij111
      Dij111
      I wonder if there will come a day, that I will be able to enjoy playing video games the same way I did before... my true passion.
      1. threefirefour likes this.
    23. Dij111
      Dij111
      Not giving up, not losing hope, no set backs.
      1. Autumnly likes this.
    24. Dij111
      Dij111
      Yesterday I had fleeting T in my good ear, then it started to have very faint T(some slight tones transferred, no ringing really).
      1. Dij111
        Dij111
        And the T ear sound turned high pitched, it is still the same very faint volume, just changed pitch, wonder what this means.
        Mar 14, 2018
      2. Dij111
        Dij111
        All of that happened in the quiet, I was not exposed to any noises throughout the day.
        Mar 14, 2018
      3. Dij111
        Dij111
        Strangely, this is the lowest in volume it has ever been.
        Mar 14, 2018
    25. Dij111
      Dij111
      Wow, faint hiss T for the entire duration of the night, didn't even need to distract myself, slept like a baby.
      1. Autumnly, Apolonia and threefirefour like this.
    26. Dij111
      Dij111
      Watching youtube and movies on mute with subtitles isn't that bad surprisingly.
      1. Autumnly and threefirefour like this.
    27. Dij111
      Dij111
      My reversing truck T tone has been replaced by what I think is a faint tone of a police siren, oh well it is a lot more pleasant now.
      1. Autumnly likes this.
    28. Dij111
      Dij111
      Imagining music in my mind that includes the T tones is working well these past 3 days for falling asleep with no masking.
    29. Dij111
      Dij111
      I am tired...
    30. Dij111
      Dij111
      T was a faint hiss this morning laying in bed(no maskers), feels like progress.
      1. Autumnly likes this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Nov 23, 1992 (Age: 25)
    Tinnitus Since:
    02/2018
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    Noise Exposure(Fire Alarm, Headphone Usage)
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