kingsfan
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kingsfan

Member, Male, from A town near you

omg just dropped my stupid phone on my stupid desk Feb 23, 2024 at 4:01 PM

    1. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      omg just dropped my stupid phone on my stupid desk
    2. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      wow my tinnitus is insane tonight. It's like a plasma gun charging then resets, causing a zapping sensation, then charging up again.
      1. 4Grace
        4Grace
        :(
        Feb 22, 2024 at 2:21 AM
        gameover likes this.
      2. Barry098
        Barry098
        Same here…mine is seriously pissed off about something!
        Feb 22, 2024 at 7:12 AM
      3. 4Grace
        4Grace
        Suffering is interesting. I have had pain in my ear. Kinda went away. Now massive soar throat for months. Swollen lymph node. If the pain goes away I feel like this blasting T won’t be so bad. The pain is unbearable. I would appreciate just T. A least for a short while.
        Feb 22, 2024 at 11:56 PM
    3. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I was actually stringing together some decent days until I ran some errands today. Back to end of December levels.
      1. tpj, gameover, 4Grace and 2 others like this.
    4. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      What's the point if AI will replace anything I've worked hard to learn. Might as well put the barrel to my head now and save time.
      1. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        Yeah, a lot of people's jobs are going to be lost with Ai. It will create some jobs and aid in many others. But many millions of jobs are expected to be lost.
        Feb 16, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
      2. Juliane
        Juliane
        Human beings have really made a point out of making this planet inhabitable. In so many ways
        Feb 19, 2024 at 7:10 PM
        4Grace likes this.
    5. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Few things hurt quite like hearing your teenage child tell you they are saving up to visit you bc you can't afford to visit them...
      1. Juliane and streifzug like this.
      2. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        I'm about to just let my tinnitus worsen and get a job at a factory or construction or something, anything to get out of this shame
        Feb 15, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
      3. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        Widening your net is probably a good idea. Good luck in your search. Sucks about the tech layoffs.
        Feb 15, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
    6. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Just found a piece of my cat's string toy is missing. I think he ingested it. Distraught whether to go to get x-ray, but I have little $$$
      1. View previous comments...
      2. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @Tryn2BHopeful maybe 2 inches of a thin, stretchy, elastic string. I have read it can entangle around the intestines and kill the tissue. I just don't know if it's long enough for that to happen.
        Feb 13, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
      3. Tryn2BHopeful
        Tryn2BHopeful
        hrm.... you would think if it was on a cats toy it would be safe! I get what your saying though.
        Feb 13, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
      4. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @Tryn2BHopeful I already had to take him before because he ate a toy. That one was like a fluffy worm. I usually put everything away when unsupervised, but I guess I forgot this one time.
        Feb 13, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
    7. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Those stupid little alarms in Best Buy went off twice while I was there today. My watch only said 67dBa, so fingers crossed.
      1. 4Grace and ZFire like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @ZFire @Barry098 I bought the watch specifically for that a couple weeks into my tinnitus nightmare.

        It was mainly bc I was so accustomed to loud sound I had no idea of what healthy volumes were.
        Feb 12, 2024
        4Grace, ZFire and Barry098 like this.
      4. ZFire
        ZFire
        Seems really useful!
        Feb 13, 2024
        4Grace and Barry098 like this.
      5. Barry098
        Barry098
        I might get one. I’m constantly wondering about SPL’s in my environment
        Feb 14, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
    8. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Anhedonia is a $%^&*
      1. 4Grace, streifzug and gameover like this.
    9. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      It's like my family knows when I'm having a bad T day and make all the noise they can.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Tryn2BHopeful
        Tryn2BHopeful
        I asked my wife as she was about to start vacuuming right next to me what she was doing and I got a disgusted response that she was going to vacuum. I said we'll can I leave the room? She doesn't get it.
        Feb 4, 2024
        4Grace, Barry098 and gameover like this.
      3. Tryn2BHopeful
        Tryn2BHopeful
        I don't want to be this way, but a little empathy and understanding would go a long way.
        Feb 4, 2024
      4. gameover
        gameover
        @Tryn2BHopeful I am sorry. I cannot imagine such a reaction from a partner.
        Feb 6, 2024
        4Grace and Barry098 like this.
    10. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      weird how I can go a couple of days without this nasty new ringing, and then it just pops up in the middle of the day out of nowhere
      1. 4Grace and ZFire like this.
      2. BellaMia
        BellaMia
        Happens to me too. New rings come and go. Also the heartbeat in my left ear comes and goes. What a strange condition.
        Feb 3, 2024
        4Grace likes this.
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @BellaMia I've had the heartbeat thing on and off many times. Seems to always appear when my tinnitus has permanently worsened and then goes away after a couple months. Still waiting for it disappear again this time.
        Feb 3, 2024
        4Grace and BellaMia like this.
    11. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      PVCs and PACs are back. They are exhausting. If I ever get a job I'm just going to get cardiac ablation. 5 years of this crap.
      1. 4Grace likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @Juliane premature ventricular and atrial contractions
        Jan 31, 2024
      4. Juliane
        Juliane
        @kingsfan oh :-( As if you did not have enough to worry about. So sorry.
        Jan 31, 2024
      5. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @kingsfan - I am so sorry to hear that …. Add that to the list of things I did not know about before T
        Feb 1, 2024
    12. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I'd much rather just have louder ringing than this static with it's scraping sensation. It's driving me insane. I'm so tired..
      1. 4Grace and gameover like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. 4Grace
        4Grace
        Some peace of mind for all of use would be priceless
        Feb 1, 2024
      4. BellaMia
        BellaMia
        That's what I think I have. I have a static sound and can almost feel it. Depends on how bad it is. In the beginning it felt like I had poprocks in my ear. It's the eeee tone that drives me nuts. Funny how we all have different tolerances.
        Feb 3, 2024
      5. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @BellaMia Well I've had 3 years to get used to the couple of pure tones I have. They still get unbearable when I'm out and about.
        Feb 3, 2024
        BellaMia likes this.
    13. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Didn't know how good I had it just 1.5 months ago.
      1. 4Grace, Juliane and gameover like this.
      2. cyberspace
        cyberspace
        Same. I just want to go back to the day before my birthday when I didn’t catch covid and didn’t have long covid. I’ll do anything to go back to December 17th.
        Jan 30, 2024
        kingsfan and Juliane like this.
      3. 4Grace
        4Grace
        It’s crazy how that works. Know a guy that went crazy because of T. Since he got vertigo he told me that his T with V would be nothing
        Feb 1, 2024
    14. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I can't do this anymore
      1. 4Grace, gameover and 4alien2 like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. gameover
        gameover
        Yeah, the breaks don't do much. I tried.
        Jan 28, 2024
        4Grace, RunningMan and Juliane like this.
      4. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @gameover I took a break, I can't remember exactly when or how long, probably around Sep '22 - May '23, and when I came back some of the people I talked to had left.
        Jan 29, 2024
        4Grace, Juliane and RunningMan like this.
      5. 4Grace
        4Grace
        That’s a horrible feeling. I so wish I could not relate to that … but I do. You are not alone. Thank God for this place
        Feb 1, 2024
    15. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Another rough day. 1 or 2 minutes of focus, then time to breathe and disassociate. Rinse and repeat. Taking all day for an hour of work.
      1. 4Grace likes this.
    16. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      My life is a mess but my zsh config is pristine.
      1. 4Grace, Juliane, SilverFox and 2 others like this.
    17. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Making a little bit of progress with my new level of T, but tonight has been a bit of a step backwards.It sucks even having to do this again
      1. 4Grace, SilverFox, tpj and 2 others like this.
      2. Ryan Scott
        Ryan Scott
        @kingsfan I feel like us people who are blessed with tinnitus will have to deal with these oscillations for the rest of our life, that is just the nature of the beast. The condition is just so complex, and no one seems to really understand. Considering there are people who get T from medication and despite having no acoustic trauma or noise exposures it still gets worse.
        Jan 25, 2024
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @Ryan Scott Yeah, I had prepared myself for this from the very beginning, but the rate at which I keep worsening is beyond my expectation. I only get a short time of any sort of habituation before I have to start over.

        Now I reminisce of being able to enjoy movies and music without so much noise in the mix.
        Jan 25, 2024
        Ryan Scott, gameover and Juliane like this.
      4. Ryan Scott
        Ryan Scott
        @kingsfan I totally agree man, mine has progressively got worse over the first year of having it. If I could go back to how it was at first I think it wouldn't really bother me all that much. But I think the reason mine was so more noticeable for the first few months is from the steroids reducing inflammation.
        Jan 29, 2024
    18. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Feeling under the weather yet again. And yet again, worried about Covid.
      1. Nadia231, Juliane and L along the way like this.
      2. cyberspace
        cyberspace
        Long covid is a nightmare, it’s worse than tinnitus so far
        Jan 24, 2024
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        Either zicam is very effective for me, or my immune system has been good at catching illness before it gets out of hand, or I just haven't actually been ill at all...
        Jan 25, 2024
    19. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      (1) Do I have H? Have I had H? Has it been getting worse?
      1. gameover likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        (3) Car Stereo Volume Observations:

        - Pre-T: 32.
        - Post-T: 16.
        - 1 month post: 10.
        - 3 month with 19snr earplugs: 14.
        - Currently( with 26snr earplugs): 10.
        Jan 20, 2024
        gameover likes this.
      4. HearingHell
        HearingHell
        Maybe you're just worried about making the T worse, so you're turning things down to safer levels to make sure T isn't aggravated?

        Does the world actually sound louder to you?
        Jan 21, 2024
      5. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @HearingHell I mean when first I cut the volume in half that was the case, but a few weeks later I noticed that volume felt loud when it used to be feel almost too quiet to enjoy.
        Jan 22, 2024
    20. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Well would you look at that, someone set their car alarm off beside me as I was walking through a nearly empty parking lot.
      1. Juliane likes this.
    21. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I've worn out my welcome. I need a job that pays a livable wage or a new place to stay, like, now.
      1. gameover likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @RunningMan I applied to a data annotation company, was accepted, passed all the assessments and then was never given any work.

        It's all automated so there is no one to contact. Has been incredibly frustrating bc it would have been some much needed relief. Didn't pay enough to get back out on my own but would have stopped me hemorrhaging money.
        Jan 16, 2024
        RunningMan likes this.
      4. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @crescentsky Not real lucrative, but I may have to try it...
        Jan 16, 2024
      5. crescentsky
        crescentsky
        it's worth trying out. i have heard ppl have successfully used it and turned it into a full time business.
        Jan 16, 2024
    22. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I wonder if my tinnitus will stop going with my heartbeat if I get in shape. I don't have high blood pressure or anything though...
      1. Tryn2BHopeful
        Tryn2BHopeful
        One can only hope
        Jan 14, 2024
        kingsfan likes this.
    23. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Had a lot of fleeting tinnitus yesterday. Don't know if that's a good or bad sign.
      1. Juliane and Nadia231 like this.
    24. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      My ears just constantly feel fatigued now. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I've never had this. It's like I'm back to square one.
      1. gameover likes this.
    25. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      My tinnitus is grinding at my brain, giving me a headache and making me nauseous. it's more than just a sound. It's also a sensation.
    26. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      WHEW whew WHEW whew WHEW whew. this is hell
      1. L along the way likes this.
      2. Juliane
        Juliane
        When going through hell, keep walking
        Jan 11, 2024
        L along the way likes this.
      3. kingsfan
        Jan 12, 2024
    27. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I don't think I'm going to make it without anti-anxiety meds. I was incredibly tempted to drive my car off the highway last night.
      1. gameover and RunningMan like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        I feel the same about needing anxi-anxiety meds. I actually have one (lorazepam) but I only take it occasionally since it's a benzo, so that doesn't really manage things. Had side effects from ADs. Maybe need to try alternative like Buspirone.
        Jan 11, 2024
      4. sakrt
        sakrt
        @kingsfan I'm really sorry of your current struggles. Do you have any ability to access a social worker, who maybe able to help lessen the burden to do with job placement? or maybe has other ideas in your vicinity?
        Jan 11, 2024
        RunningMan likes this.
      5. L along the way
        L along the way
        I also take benzo's, and sometimes kratom. About ending it.. :( sadly.. i sometimes think about it too, or feel like.. hope it will end (not by my own cause). The only rule i feel about self conclusion, is to never be impulsive about it, and never while under influence. Take time, go day by day.. trying to go easy.. please may time make things better
        Jan 12, 2024
        Juliane likes this.
    28. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on like this. I should have never taken my car to that shop.
      1. gameover and L along the way like this.
      2. Juliane
        Juliane
        You could not have known. You were just trying to live
        Jan 11, 2024
        gameover, L along the way and tpj like this.
      3. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        @Juliane I should have known. I had been there before. I knew the layout. But last time was in the morning, I think before they started working on cars.

        I should have ran out at the first drill blast, but my social anxiety just kept me frozen, too afraid to embarrass my self
        Jan 11, 2024
        gameover likes this.
      4. Juliane
        Juliane
        I understand. But you cannot change your reactions always. I don't think you have done anything wrong
        Jan 11, 2024
        gameover likes this.
    29. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      Well I thought I was going to have a decent T day, but as soon as I start moving around theHighPitch SquealThatGoesWithMyHeartbeat ComesBack
    30. kingsfan
      kingsfan
      This is one of the few clubs where a "meetup" probably isn't in the cards.
      1. gameover and Juliane like this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    A town near you
    Occupation:
    Writer & Producer of Cleaver
    Tinnitus Since:
    9-17-2020
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    turning everything up to 11