Man, I'm so damn sorry to hear that. Can you go on sick leave and stay in silence for some time? Do you have a safety net for that? I don't think you should continue to e.g. traveling by train at this point. Please, hang in there buddy.
I have had way too much time off recently due to my back problems and I cannot afford another sick leave. The thought of being alone in my 50 square meters apartment in silence is making me sick. I think I would rather be dead, really. This is not how life is supposed to be - I should be out socializing after all the shit I have been through this year..
. This was my only way out of this. I think I am going to end this soon - I do not see how I would survive this torture and constant worsening. I was not one of the lucky ones to have baby tinnitus which does not react and is only one tone unfortunately - the damage of my ears is enormous. I just cannot believe it but it is true - I am screwed for life even if I decide to stay on this planet.
IT is a pity because we only have once chance on this Earth and mine was taken away from me from one stupid doctor who will live a happy live even though he has literally ruined mine. Life is supposed to be a blessing - not a torture! BTW it is my birthday today - what a blessing, huh? For first time in my life I am going to be alone on my birthday - suffering and I hope it is the last one.
During this 2.5 months I got up on my feet numerous times only to be brought down again by another worsening. I fought like a warrior guys, I cannot take this anymore. I fought really hard even before T and H - you can read my post in the suicidal thread. If someone told me I would be here an year ago I would be laughing in his face
@Freerunner I'm deeply sorry that you're having such a hard time. I relate a lot to your thoughts, even though my case may be milder than yours in some aspects. Please, hear me out; suicide is very risky and can put you in an even worse position than now, if you fail. There's nothing stopping you from doing it now, or in a year or two; Why not persevere, and give it two years in case things turn around? (1/4)
If you are set on committing suicide, your job becomes completely pointless, and if that is the case, you could very well go on sick leave, or lose it, because it wouldn't matter anymore. I've kept my job because I've felt I could manage it, but if I would have gotten progressively worse, I would definitely go on sick leave or quit. Take time off from work, and if they want to fire you, then let them do it. (2/4)
I know it hurts, because I've too come to an employer where I feel like I belong, for life, but our health should always be in the drivers seat. Do you have any relatives that can support you with housing if you lose your job? Do you have a safety net? Do understand that long term improvements isn't far fetched; you're in the initial, and very volatile, phase of these ear problems, but things can settle! (3/4)
Say that your hyperacusis improves, and you regain your tolerances; if you don't have that much hearing loss, your tinnitus could very well improve once you can get enriched with sound again. I have a hard time believing your hair cells have been consistently dying throughout these months, but there could be some kind of inflammation. Have you been to an ENT and discussed steroids? Things can turn around buddy. (4/4)
Hey man happy birthday but 2.5 months is really nothing. Many have been in your situation and it took years. It sucks I know but find any way to stick around a bit longer
Hi guys, I am quite aware that 2.5 months is nothing in the T and H world. However I would have had some hope if thinks at least stayed the same. They did worsen though with enormous tempo. This has restricted my life when I needed socializing the most. I just cannot stand this. I love my job man.
I really for the first time in my life like what I do for a living and I am good at it. It it the only thing that keeps my mind off this for a while (as long as that is possible). I can go and live with my parents but that would be awful for me. I just cannot stand this torture. Believe me guys, I survived so many nasty health and live issues. I would have survived this too if it stayed as it was in the beginning.
Even if I drug myself with the best pills I will still see clearly that my future has been cut at least in half. The restrictions are enormous. I cannot believe how I got into this and how I became one of the severe cases in the forum and maybe worldwide
. I know people with T and H who lead normal lives even go to restaurants, bars etc. One of them is a musician. And me - well I am screwed. Live had to fuck me over real good. Can you imagine so much worsening for two months? I even worsened without loud noise exposures and everywhere I went I was wearing my earplugs- everywhere.
I think hyperacusis is a sign of gain calibration being off in your brain. Every time I’ve had it, T gets much louder. Good news is that H is curable though desensitization…and likely T will drop in volume as H resolved. Hang in there Freerunner…2 1/2 months is not long enough to throw in the towel.
A clarification about my agreement; I believe that theory is the case, because I've experienced it first hand, but I think some may have gotten a lot of damage quickly, and if so, I think desensitization may be counterproductive. It could be attempted at a later stage, but maybe not acutely. Especially if there's pain with the hyperacusis, to which I don't believe desensitization is the way to go.
@Wrfortiscue Yeah, just gradual reintroduction of sound to correct the abnormal tolerance. Doesn't seem to work for everybody though, but many with loudness hyperacusis seem to benefit from it. But we who spike to very low level sound are pretty much stuck in a Catch 22, since exposure to sound may give instant negative feedback in the form of spikes.
I wouldn't say you're "screwed", @Wrfortiscue. I'm probably the one who's completely f**k'd lol. How much hearing loss are we talking about? How many dB's are your lowest dip?
If the spikes usually are short, then I think you'll be fine, but have you tried to use high fidelity ear plugs and just lower the volume slightly? I don't think that would cause any sensitivity, imo.
@Stacken77 I used to have unbelievably severe H but I cured through gradual exposure to sound. Practicing piano scales by gradually working up into the higher octave ranges is what cured it for me.
Yeah, @Wrfortiscue go get an audiogram. Could be fun to know. I don't think you should lose hope yet for improvements, but what's most important is that you're managing quite alright, which I believe you are, right? Despite all the spikes.
@Stacken77 my right ear is the one with hearing loss and I’ve had it for years. Fireworks blew near my right several times and playing drums too. New onset left ear grinder they didn’t see loss
@Wrfortiscue I remember that I too had times when I obsessed with mine, when it was mild. I think it may be part of the package. Now I've been obsessed with it full time for almost an entire year lol.
@Stacken77 absolutely…my T was in 2017 (and is again now unfortunately) totally reactive so it would go nuts when I exposed myself to sound and the H pain was excruciating at times. But, my brother has had T and H for close to twenty years and he pretty much constantly wears ears plugs. I didn’t want to end up completely dependent on the plugs so I decided to try and work through it.
Interestingly as my H improved, my T became quieter. My theory is that hearing injuries are like other injuries in that they require some PT in order to make a recovery. The difference is that the therapy for the ears is about recalibrating the brain’s perception of the signal from the ears.
Hey @Barry098. Hope you're doing alright. I'm just curious; you said that your T were reactive in your bout with bad hyperacusis in 2017. How did the reactivity manifest? Did you experience tinnitus spikes that could last minutes/hours?
@Stacken77 I still have some issues with reactive T and it reacts just like it did in 2017. Both times my spikes pretty much would always continue until I could get a good night’s sleep. Sometimes when they are bad (like after getting COVID) they can last for several days.
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